


9 Days

by starinvoid (geekns)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Artificial Insemination, Childbirth, Eventual escape, Express Delivery trope, F/M, Forced Pregnancy, Grounded crew, Kidnapped crew, Medical Procedures, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Slavery, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-03-04
Updated: 2001-04-01
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekns/pseuds/starinvoid
Summary: Voyager's captain and crew are kidnapped.  Will they be able to escape?  And why is the Captain acting so strangely? (Well because i felt like knocking up all of the women on Voyager on a whim of course.)





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic ticked a lot of firsts off for me: first romance, first pregnancy, first birth, first multi-chapter story. Please realize that i was still in high school and while i was reading NC-17 (at the age of 16) i was nowhere near ready to write it. This also hasn't been proofread in ten years and probably could use it but i don't have the heart to read it right now.
> 
> Disclaimer:  Paramount and Viacom own Star Trek (oh the pain, the pain):  they would never inflict this kind of pain on Captain Janeway and her crew.

Kathryn Janeway awoke slowly.  It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting and then a few additional seconds for her to realize that she was not in her quarters aboard _Voyager_.

She sat up with a jump.  The dark room was obviously a prison cell.  A single skylight gave the only light, indicating that it was early morning outside the building.

Years of starfleet training instantly threw Kathryn's senses into the alert mode.  Kathryn stood swiftly, assessing the situation.  A quick glance at the ceiling's height of about four meters determined that the barred window to the outside world was not a viable route of escape.  Kathryn turned to the thick door on the opposite side of the room:  but it was too heavy for her to force open.  An investigation of the bulkhead didn't even reveal a command junction or access panel.

No, that would have been too easy.  Whoever had locked her in wanted her to stay in.  She didn't know where she was, but one thing was perfectly clear:  the natives weren't particularly friendly.  Future comrades don't usually take prisoners before even being properly introduced.

Kathryn began to pace with a sigh.  Suddenly, she heard a sound:  she froze, falling silent, listening.  That was when she realized that she could hear someone breathing.

She was instantly acutely aware of the sound.  Once she noticed it, she could hear it quite clearly; there weren't any other noises to mask its obtrusion in the darkness.  Kathryn cautiously walked towards the cell's darkest corner, wondering who or what it could be.

It took a few more moments for her eyes to adjust to the dimmer lighting, but she could make out the still form of someone sleeping.  Their back was turned toward her, but she recognized him instantly.  Kathryn kneeled beside him, calling his name:

"Chakotay."  She placed her hand on his shoulder.  Her first officer jumped at her touch:

"Captain?" he looked around, confused.  "Where are we?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," she answered.  "Last night I fell asleep on _Voyager_ , this morning I woke up here.  I have yet to see any sign or our captors."

Kathryn could feel Chakotay's eyes upon her.  She turned, only to find that he was staring at her.  It was at that instant that she realized what she was wearing.

She had forgotten the cold in the excitement of the moment, but with Chakotay's gaze now upon her, she became acutely aware of the fact she was clad solely in the silk nightgown she had slipped into the night before.  Suddenly, the room seemed very cold.  Kathryn crossed her arms across her chest, rubbing her hands up and down her arms for warmth.

Chakotay looked away, his face reddening.  He stood and approached their only exit to the outside world.  At that moment, Kathryn froze, realizing what he was wearing for the first time.  He, too, was dressed for bed, and wore only a pair of grey flannel pants.  As Chakotay turned back toward her, she tried in vain not to stare at his smooth strong chest:

"I wonder how long we've been here," he remarked.

She could tell that he was trying to gracefully deal with this situation that obviously couldn't be helped.  Yes, Chakotay, always the gentleman, wouldn't have mentioned it.  He seemed oblivious to her stare, but Kathryn still felt her cheeks reddening as she forced herself to look away.

He continued:  "Are we the only crewmembers here, or are there others?"

Suddenly, the doors opened, allowing light into the room.  Kathryn stood to see who had revealed the outside world when Chakotay stepped in front of her:  his subconscious way to try to shield her from the intruder.  She always felt touched--yet annoyed at the same time--when he did this.  She stepped past him and confronted the armed invader:

"Why have you brought us here?"  The alien stared at her, not uttering a word.  He simply placed a bundle on the floor, stood, and took a step backwards, allowing the doors to close after him.  Once again, Chakotay and Kathryn were sealed in with the darkness.

Chakotay turned and sat on the raised slab of concrete that served as the room's only bed (if one could call it that).  Kathryn kneeled to pick up the bundle.

"Now what?" Chakotay vented.  "Are we just supposed to sit here?"  Kathryn sat down beside Chakotay:

"I hope not," she answered as she began to unfold what appeared to be clothing.  "I'm not about to take this without a fight."

They sat in silence a few more moments:

"I'd like to apologize, Captain; my behavior back there was inappropriate."

"What behavior?  The way you tried to protect me?"

"When that alien came in here..." he hesitated:  "It won't happen again, Captain."  Kathryn placed her hand on his arm:

"There is nothing wrong with what you did, Chakotay."

"You can take care of yourself, and I should respect that."

"No, Chakotay," Kathryn stated softly:  "I am strong only because I have to be:  because I am the captain.  Your concern for my well being is one of the things I love about you..." She fell silent at what she had said, then tried to explain:  "I have always appreciated how you take the time to make sure that I can go on, because no matter how much I try to make you or the crew think I am, I am not invincible.  Your support has been invaluable; I could not have come this far without you."  She paused:  "Please don't stop now, Chakotay."

Chakotay nodded for a moment, then reached over and gave her arm a squeeze.  Kathryn smiled her thanks and then turned away, not being able to do anything except wonder why she had just shared that with him.  Maybe it was because she was so uncertain about what lie ahead.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay had always thought that Kathryn looked stunning in white, and today was no exception, despite the fact that they were imprisoned.  They had found that the alien had brought them clothing and a blanket, something that was happily accepted (most likely on both their parts).  Chakotay had been beginning to find it increasingly difficult to not stare at Kathryn.

The cell doors had opened after they had changed, and a computer instructed them on how to proceed to some unknown destination.  He still didn't have any idea what was going on, but it was better than just sitting there.

Other members of the crew were falling into step behind Kathryn and Chakotay.  Everyone appeared to be dressed exactly as their Captain or Commander, according to their respective sex.  Kathryn led the way.

Suddenly, they all entered a large enclosed courtyard, and the instructions from the computer ceased.  Light streamed in various skylights.  People were congregated in groups:  some seated on couches, some standing.  Harry and a group of men were already there, and the Ensign approached them solemnly:

"I'm sorry, Captain," he started.  "They decloaked in front of us, and before I had a chance to react, we all lost consciousness."  Kathryn laid her hand on his arm:

"It's alright, Harry," Kathryn consoled him.  "There's nothing you could have done, apparently."  Tuvok approached the trio:

"Captain," Tuvok looked from Harry's clothing to Chakotay's.

"What is it, Tuvok?"

"The clothes that we have been given," he answered.  "All the men who followed you are wearing grey.  Ensign Kim and myself, however, are clad entirely in brown.  Also, some women are in purple, while others such as yourself are wearing white."

Chakotay scanned the rest of the crew, realizing that what Tuvok was saying was true.  Suddenly he noticed something new:

"Captain."  Kathryn's gaze followed his.

Several aliens that were holding weapons were taking positions around the room's perimeter.  The crew fell silent as all eyes turned to them and to the man who was stopping at the front of the room:

"Attention, _Voyager_ crew," the alien began.  "My name is Esod:  I am director of this facility and will be your host during your stay."  Chakotay watched Kathryn step toward the front of the room.  He ignored the impulse to try and stop her and the fact that his heart suddenly started beating faster.

"Why are we here?" Kathryn asked.

"Ah, yes, _Voyager's_ captain," Esod smiled.  "If you ask me, women should not be commanding starships, or even on them, for that matter, but that would make this little adventure impossible, now, wouldn't it?"

"As a matter of fact, I didn't ask you about your views of women in positions of authority," she answered.  "What I asked is why you brought my crew here."

"Yes, well, you will find that out soon enough," Esod waved to a guard.  The second alien stepped forward and took Kathryn's arm roughly, leading her toward Chakotay.  He shoved her into Chakotay's arms:

"I would advise you to take care of your woman, human," the guard said in disdain.

"My woman?" Chakotay asked, but the guard made no reply as he returned to his post.  Chakotay looked to Kathryn to see if she was alright.  She shook her head to indicate that she hadn't been hurt.

"Now," Esod continued:  "Each of you has already undergone biometric and psychological assessments.  Before we do anything else, you will all eat:  then you will all separate into your respective groups.

"If you are wearing purple or brown, you will be leaving this place.  If you are wearing white or grey, you will be staying here for a matter of days.  If you cooperate, you will be treated well.  If you resist, things will not go well for you in this place.  Any questions?"

Kathryn was about to step forward, but this time Chakotay held her back.  Kathryn glared at him, but didn't break the silence.

"Good," Esod concluded.  He turned on his heel and left.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn ate slowly, her eyes sweeping the room methodically.  All crewmembers had been accounted for.  There were about twenty guards watching them.  Not many, yet what would happen if they rushed them?  She didn't know if their weapons were on stun or kill, and she wasn't about to risk it.

"We aren't just going to sit here, are we Captain?" B'Elanna asked.  "I mean, we've got to do something."

"What do you suggest Lieutenant?" Tuvok, calm as always, asked.

"Anything but just sitting here," she answered.

"Any retaliation at this time would not be wise."

"He's right, B'Elanna," Tom answered.  "We have no idea what we're up against."

"On the other hand, we have a better chance once we're reunited," Chakotay stated.  Kathryn considered her first officer's words as the conversation between the members of her senior staff continued.

She was still irritated by what he had done in the courtyard, and she wasn't about to let it pass.  She would have to find some time to talk to her first officer.

"Remain the pretense that we're pacifists now, and act later," Harry confirmed Chakotay's statement.  "We'll take them by surprise when they think we won't confront them."

"We will need to work together," Seven put in.  "Coordinate our efforts without attracting attention."

"We'll discuss this in more detail when we're reunited," Kathryn stepped in, "until then, everyone will have to cooperate with their wishes, as long as it isn't anything too absurd of self-damaging.  Make sure the rest of the crew knows.  I also want all of you to keep you eyes and ears open:  see what their weaknesses are, anything that might help us escape."

"At least their food is nourishing."  All eyes were on Neelix.  He blushed:  "Just an observation.  We'll need to keep up our strength in order to escape.  But Captain, are you sure that escape is wise?  They haven't harmed us..."

"Neelix, I would like to make one thing very clear," Kathryn answered:  "we have been captured against our will for unknown reasons.  That is an unacceptable situation, whether these aliens appear to be hostile or not, and I'm not about to take it sitting down.  Understood?"

"Understood, Captain," Neelix was the first to voice their reply.  Everyone else's voice chorused after his.  Janeway scanned each senior staff member's face, then nodded:

"Dismissed."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Purple and brown groups, report to the courtyard immediately."  Man, that computer's voice was irritating.

Chakotay scanned the room again.  He could see Tom and B'Elanna talking in one corner.  Seven following Neelix, Naomi, and Samantha out of the room.  Tuvok and Harry right behind them, most likely discussing the situation.

"Commander:"  Chakotay turned at the sound of his Captain's voice.  He pushed through the stream of people:

"All crewmembers have been notified of your orders," he glanced back toward the crowd.  "The purple and brown groups are departing."

"Commander, we need to talk," Kathryn stated, irritation in her voice.

"Captain?"  She pulled him away from the crew to a less crowded corner:

"What you did back there was out of line."

"What, suggesting that we wait to regroup before attempting to escape?"

"That's not what I mean, and you know it."  Chakotay stared at her for a few seconds:

"I guess that I don't know what you mean," he answered, crossing his arms:  "Please, enlighten me."

"When you held me back in the courtyard, that was..."

"A necessary precaution," he could tell that she was seething at his words:  "You said yourself that you appreciate my caution and concern for your well being.  That guard had already threatened you..."

"Commander, I am not your woman."  It was at that moment that it suddenly dawned on him:

"Captain, I would never intentionally act inappropriately toward you; I respect your decision that our relationship should remain professional.  In my mind, my concern was for the crew."

"Was it?"

"Does it matter?" he inwardly knew that it hadn't only been professional concern:

"In my opinion, yes."

"Captain, this crew needs you.  I don't want to think about what could have happened if I hadn't stopped you," he paused.  "I am not willing to risk your life."  Kathryn looked away, contemplating his words:

"Something tells me that you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together, Chakotay," she said softly.  "I'm sorry if I misjudged you."  Chakotay smiled:

"Apology accepted."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn and Chakotay once again led their group to the courtyard.  The place looked exactly the same as it had two hours ago, except for the fact that the sun was lower in the sky.  These people seemed to appreciate natural lighting.

Esod was here again.  He wasn't particularly ugly, but his expression sure was sour, and he was extremely condescending.  His pale skin was accented by the black uniform he wore.  He looked completely human, except for a long narrow snout about six inches in length.  It almost looked like a horse's nose.  Of course, it wasn't hairy, and his nostrils were far from large, but he still looked rather comical.

"Welcome back to the courtyard," he began.  "I'm sure that all of you have questions that you would like answered, so I am going to try and answer some of them so you won't feel the need to ask.

"Firstly, I want to assure you that we mean you no harm; this is simply how we learn about other lifeforms.  We will observe you here for several days, and then let you join the rest of your crew.

"While you are here for the next few days, you will mostly have free reign of the courtyard, cafeteria, gym, and your rooms.  At night, you will be expected to stay in your cells, and we will lock the doors for your own privacy.  During the day, we may ask you to come to a certain area.  This is only to aid in your comfort and in our understanding of your species.

"It's been a long day.  You may now do whatever you wish until dark.  Then I would appreciate if you would return to your quarters.  If you don't remember how to get there, please feel free to ask the analytical mainframe unit.  The AMU will also regulate the heat in your quarters.  If you are uncomfortable, please ask it to adjust the temperature.  Good night."

"They try and make it sound so reasonable," Tom commented.  B'Elanna snorted:

"Yah, well, I don't believe any of it."

"Just don't go and break anyone's nose, B'Elanna," Kathryn answered.  "We may have to be here a while."

"Understood, Captain, but with all due respect:  that doesn't mean I have to like it.  Come on, Tom."

"Excuse me," Esod interrupted.  "Captain Janeway, I would appreciate it if you would come with me."

"I thought that we were allowed to go anywhere we liked right now," Kathryn replied.

"Yes, so did I, but my superiors are in a hurry to begin their study.  They would like you to come with me to be studied first."

"What about me?" Chakotay stepped in.

"Well, Commander, your services won't be needed for several hours.  I would appreciate it, however, if you would return to your quarters so we will not have to search for you when you're needed."

"Captain?"  She could see the question in his eyes:

"I'll be fine, Commander," she answered.  "I'll see you later."  She followed the alien into a corridor.  They walked in silence for several minutes, past the doorway that led to the mess hall, past an exercise room, and then into a large room.

It reminded her of the Caretaker's examination room.  It wasn't half as large, but it was still frightening.  They walked between the two rows of biobeds toward the end of the room.  It appeared to be capable of holding around thirty people at once.

"I noticed that you are very formal when you address your executive officer," Esod noted.

"Is that unusual in your society?"

"No, not at all," he replied:  "except when the relationship is such as yours and Commander Chakotay's."

"I don't know what you mean."  They both stopped walking, having reached the end of the room.  The doors to another smaller room opened, and Esod indicated that he wished for her to go first:

"Oh, we're very careful when we choose groups.  I assure you that we know more about you already than you could possibly imagine."

"I wouldn't doubt it."

The room held a single biobed.  It was white, just like the rest of the entire building (except for the dark grey of their 'quarters').  Kathryn wondered how they kept the building so clean.

"This is the examination room.  Doctor Talitha should be here soon.  After she examines you, you will be free to return to your quarters."

"Thanks," she tried not to sound too sarcastic.

"I hope that we meet again."  Esod left the room, a smirk on his face.  Kathryn didn't like him:  too sure of himself.  She hoped that it would turn out to be his weakness.

Kathryn jumped when she heard the door open again.  A woman entered the room.  Kathryn suddenly realized that this was the first female alien she had seen.  The woman looked different than the males did:  more delicate.  Her snout was shorter and more rounded.  She looked less severe, almost gentle.  That surprised Kathryn.

"My name is Doctor Talitha," the woman shook her hand.  "Please, have a seat on the biobed."  Polite, yet not overly so.  Kathryn complied.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay stared at his hands.  He heard footsteps; they passed.  He stood and began to pace.  She had been gone for a long time.  It would be dark in a few hours.

There were more footsteps.  The doors opened, allowing two men into the room.  They dragged Kathryn between them.  A woman followed close behind.

The men dropped Kathryn on the floor none too gently.

"Watch what you're doing, fools!" the woman reprimanded.  The men turned and left without a word.  The woman looked to Chakotay:

"Help me," they lifted Kathryn and sat her down on the bed.  "She is very strong," the woman checked Kathryn's pulse:  "but these barbarians treat the alien women without respect."

"What did she do to deserve any of this?" Chakotay asked softly.  The woman seemed surprised.  She shook her head:

"Nothing."  She stood and turned to face him, her voice taking a new severity:  "I am Doctor Talitha. I have been ordered to inform you that though your Captain appears to be ill, she is only unconscious.  When she wakes, she will desire copulation.  If you value her life, you will reciprocate her desire.  If her condition worsens, ask the AMU to inform me."  The woman turned and left.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn's eyes fluttered open.  It was only the second time that she had awoke in this place, and she already didn't like the sensations it inflicted upon her.  Her back ached, the room was spinning, and her skin felt clammy.  The room eventually slowed, but she still didn't feel so hot.

"Kathryn," a face danced in front of her.

"Chakotay?" she tried to sit up.  He had to help her, and it still made her dizzy.  "How did I get here?"

"A doctor and two guards brought you here," he answered.  "Do you remember anything?"  She shook her head:

"She was scanning me, then ejected me with something.  That's when I lost consciousness."  She tried to stop shivering:

"Cold?"  Kathryn nodded vehemently.  Chakotay leaned toward her and wrapped her in the blanket.  He had to put his arms around her to reach.  He was so close.  His lips were so perfect.  Kathryn wondered what they would feel like on her own.

It seemed like an eternity before he allowed his eyes to meet her own.   So very close:  she leaned forward slowly and kissed him timidly.  Time slowed and the world faded; it was only her and Chakotay.  But then he pulled away.  He seemed to hesitate, searching her eyes for permission:  and then he leaned forward and kissed her back.

The rest was a blur.  He kissed her passionately; she responded with equal fervor.  They were both trying to get closer to each other.  She whispered his name as he kissed her neck.  She pulled him down onto the bed.  He came willingly, his hands holding her, his lips drinking of her own.  But then he pulled away again:

"Chakotay..."

"I can't," he stood:  "not like this."  Kathryn sat up as he started to pace:

"You can't?  Or you won't?"

"You don't understand:  she said you would want this."

"I do, Chakotay."

"No, you don't."

"You don't think I know what I want?" she demanded.

"You would never let this happen on _Voyager_."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do, and so do you."

"But..."  Chakotay sat down beside her:

"Kathryn, they've done something to you, and I can't take advantage of that.  You would never forgive me, and I love you too much to hurt you like that."

She turned away from him, considering his words:

"You're right," she resolved.  Oh, how she wished he weren't, but he was.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
The darkness encompassed him, but it did not shut out the thoughts that were racing through his mind.  It was still early, 1900 at the latest, but all he wanted was sleep.  Sleep so he would be oblivious to the woman that lay only a meter away.

He would finally be falling asleep, when something would wake him again.  A guard in the corridor.  Kathryn changing position.  Familiar voices of crewmembers outside the door.  His own body finally giving in, but for some reason not letting itself.

"Chakotay."

His head shot up again.  He hadn't realized that she was awake.  She called his name again.  He practically leapt from the cool floor, taking her hand as he reached her side:

"What is it, Kathryn?" he asked gently.

"I can't sleep," her voice sounded weak.  He wrapped the blanket tighter around her, and suddenly realized that she was sweating:

"How do you feel?"

"Cold," she answered.  "Very cold."  Chakotay felt her forehead:

"You've got a fever."

"I'll be fine."

"Kathryn," he hesitated:  "it isn't too late..."

"No, Chakotay," she stopped him.  "You know that more than anyone..." she didn't finish the thought.  "But, Chakotay, I was wondering..." she hesitated.

"What?"

"Would you sleep with me?"

"Kathryn?"

"I mean, will you sleep up here beside me... where I can touch you?"  Chakotay suddenly realized that what Kathryn was saying was that she wanted to be near him, to feel him lying beside her:

"Are you sure?"

"I trust you, Chakotay."

"Alright."

Kathryn made room for Chakotay as he lay down beside her.  He rigidly slipped under the blankets, trying not to jump at her presence.

She slid toward him, and laid her hand on his chest.  She didn't speak, but Chakotay knew what she was trying to say; she was asking permission to touch him.  She wanted to lean against him, and actually be reassured by his closeness during the night, to know that he was there and was going to stay with her.

That was what allowed Chakotay to relax.  She wasn't demanding, she was asking.  He opened his arms to her, and she moved closer, placing her head on his shoulder and chest.  Chakotay wrapped his arm around her.  It was strangely soothing; suprisingly, it was not sexual at all, but comforting.

He couldn't count the number of times that he had imagined being in situations like this.  It was a dream come true.  He could feel Kathryn's heart beat against his own, her breathing slow as she drifted off to sleep.

He wished that all of this were already over.  He never wanted to allow these aliens to hurt Kathryn again.  He would die first.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
He wasn't sure why he had woken.  Maybe it was because he couldn't feel her heartbeat anymore.  Maybe it was because she didn't seem to be breathing.  Whatever it was, it wrenched him awake.

He looked to Kathryn, who still slept in his arms.  It was difficult to see her face in the darkness, but he knew her so well that he didn't need to see:  something was wrong.  Something was very wrong.  He almost jumped out of bed, careful not to hurt Kathryn as he did.

"Kathryn."  There was no reply.  "Kathryn!"

He checked for a pulse:  it seemed so weak.

"Computer," he received no response.  What had Esod called the computer?  "AMU, medical emergency."

This time, the computer beeped a response:

*Doctor Talitha has been notified.*

"It's alright, Kathryn," he brushed her wet, matted hair out of her face:  "Help is on the way."  He glanced toward the door.  He fought the dread that was welling up inside his chest.  "Hold on, Kathryn...  Hold on."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
It had seemed like forever had come and gone before they arrived.  The same doctor as before, and two nurses to help her.  They rushed down the corridors, a blur of orders being given all the while.  Every once in a while, they passed a member of the crew.

He followed the medical team as far as the doors at the end of the room.  Chakotay couldn't help but wonder if he would ever see her again as the doors closed behind them, separating him from what was going on inside that room.

He stood there for a few moments.  Then he paced. Finally, a nurse came out:

"Please, have a seat," the woman gestured to a chair, and Chakotay complied.

"What's happening?"

"The same thing that happens every time one of you imbeciles ignores the Doctor's advice," she typed a few commands into a console on the wall beside him.  That's when he got locked into the chair.

"What..."

"I'm sorry, but this procedure is necessary in order to save the woman's life," the nurse typed in a few more commands, then held Chakotay's head still, which didn't keep him from struggling, but successful immobilized him from turning his head.

Then came the pain:  it was so intense that he couldn't even cry out.  The syringe was slowly thrust into his neck and then retracted to its original position.  The nurse released his head and returned to the small panel to release him.

Chakotay nearly leapt from the chair.  The woman turned to reenter the room Kathryn was being held in.

"What about this?" his neck still hurt from that needle.

"You men are exactly the same, no matter what species," she sighed:  "you're all babies when it comes to pain."

"What about Kathryn?"  The alien disappeared into the room without answering.


	2. Day 2

"Hey, you!"  Chakotay jumped awake.  He struggled to climb to his feet as a guard approached.  "You don't belong in here."

"I'm waiting for someone," Chakotay tried to explain.

"I don't care:  this is a restricted area."

"I thought that we were allowed to go anywhere we want to."

"Just a second..." the guard placed a finger against his ear, listening in the hidden equipment that allowed his superiors to contact him:  "yes, sir."  He listened some more:  "No sir, you see, my orders were..."  He stopped and listened some more: "Understood."  The man turned back to Chakotay:  "The woman you're waiting for is about to released.  This area is temporarily restricted.  I have been ordered to inform you that you should return to your quarters."

Chakotay turned to leave; the guard followed him out of the sickbay, at which point the alien went back inside.

Chakotay went a short distance and then turned to watch the doors that led inside.  He wasn't really going to leave until he knew what was happening to Kathryn.

"Chakotay?"  He turned to see B'Elanna approach:  "What are you doing here?"

"The Captain is inside."

"Is she alright?"

"I wish I knew," he answered.  "What time is it?"

"Around 0800, why?"

He had been sitting there all night:

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Eight of us have been ordered to report here...  Chakotay, what's going on?"

"I don't know."

"They aren't going to harm us, are they?"

"No, but I wouldn't recommend going against doctor's orders."

"Why?"

"Because the Captain did and now she's here."

"Why are they doing this to us?"  Chakotay shook his head at B'Elanna's rhetorical question.  "I have to go, Chakotay," B'Elanna stated as two female crewmembers walked past.  "I'll see you later?"

Chakotay nodded.

"Bye."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn really, really didn't like this place.  She tried to suppress a moan, but found herself unsuccessful.  She lifted her arm to shield the light that was shining in her eyes, groaning.

"Kathryn," Chakotay was already at her side.  She lifted her hand, reached for him.  Chakotay took her hand:

"What happened?" she asked.

"Your condition got worse," he answered.  "I called the Doctor, and she did something for you."

"What did they do to me?"

"I don't know," he answered.  "She said that you would need to see her again tomorrow morning:  something about another injection."  Chakotay gently laid her hand back down.  He disappeared for a few seconds, then reappeared: "Are you hungry?" he set a tray down beside her.  Kathryn tried to sit up, but he had to help her:  "They brought lunch."  He explained:  "even brought coffee."

Chakotay handed her the cup, but the smell made her stomach turn.  She put her cup back on the tray:

"I'll pass."

"Do you mind if I...?"

"Go ahead."  She watched as Chakotay took a bite of his food.  She swallowed.

"How can you eat that?"  Chakotay put his fork down:

"Kathryn, are you feeling alright?"

"No, I don't think I am."

"What is it?"  Kathryn didn't answer.  She leapt from the bed and ran for the bathroom.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Whatever Talitha had given to Kathryn had apparently helped her recover in record time:  for the most part.  When she was awake, she was completely coherent.  She had been able to dress herself in the new blue outfit a guard had brought her, she had been able to walk around, and talk.

The only problem was that she was exhausted.  Kathryn was practically falling asleep standing up.  That and the fact that she couldn't seem to keep any food down.

The pitching of the shuttle apparently wasn't helping matters.  Chakotay pulled a bag out from underneath the seats that were across from them, almost losing his balance and being sent sprawling in the process.  Chakotay shook it open and handed it to Kathryn.  It was barely in time.

Chakotay grabbed for Kathryn as the shuttle ceased its sharp ascent.  She disposed of the bag, placing it in a trash cubicle that was within arm's reach, and then leaned against him.  He took her into his arms, wishing that he could help her more.

Chakotay remembered the conversation they had had with Esod in the courtyard earlier that morning.  He had filled them in:

"Both of you are traveling to the camp today," he smiled.  "I do hope that you enjoy yourselves there.  Good bye."

Chakotay could now hear the pilots joking in the cockpit.  Kathryn sat up as the shuttle made a few more maneuvers.

"Are you alright, Kathryn?"  She shook her head.  Chakotay reached for several of the bags this time.  She grabbed one, opening herself, then seemed to relax as trip seemed to grow calm again.  Suddenly, the shuttle seemed to freefall.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn smoothed her new outfit--a blue dress with matching pants--as she came out of the bathroom.  She scanned the camps medical facility for her first officer:

"Kathryn."  She turned to find Chakotay approaching, looking almost as stunning in his new black uniform as he had in his grey one.  Why had they given her this blue thing that didn't even fit?  Her last one had fit like a glove.

Someone passed, carrying a tray of something that looked like coffee.  Kathryn's stomach turned over again:

"I really don't feel so good, Chakotay."

"Come on," he said softly.  "Maybe we can find you a bed."

They walked side by side toward the exit, his arm around her waist:

"I feel like I'm about to fall over," her voice sounded strange:  tired.  The doors slid open as they approached.

The light was blinding at first, but Kathryn's eyes adjusted quickly enough.  What she saw next was nothing less than amazing.

Before them lay the 'camp.'  They stood on the top of a small hill.  To their left and down the hill was a large building, into which brown and purple clad individuals seemed to be filing in and out of.  Straight ahead and to their right were enough small buildings to house the entire crew.  Beyond the shacks were fields green with plants, and behind the large building were the foothills to a fairly large mountain.

"Captain."  Kathryn and Chakotay turned.  Chakotay dropped his arm, and Kathryn turned to face the crewmember that had spoken to her:

"Seven," she greeted.  "It's good to see you."

"Likewise," Seven answered.  "I heard that a shuttle had arrived."

"We've been here for about ten minutes," Chakotay confirmed as they started down the hill.

"How have you been?" Kathryn asked.

"I have grown impatient during my stay.  I found your orders difficult to obey, to say the least."

"Sounds like your visit has been a challenge," Chakotay commented.  "Tell me, Seven:  did they have you do anything besides sit around and do nothing?"

"I underwent a thorough medical examination, as well a technological one.  I have spent the majority of the rest of my stay gardening during the day and singing at night for various dinner parties.  It has been tedious and pointless."

"Where are you staying, Seven?" Kathryn asked.  The ex-borg gestured:

"I have chosen a small building along this route."  She led the way.

"You weren't assigned quarters?" Chakotay asked.

"No:  we were allowed to choose our cubicle.  At this time I am staying alone, across the way from Commander Tuvok and Mr. Neelix."

"Where do we find a place to stay?" Kathryn asked.

"There are two empty beds in my cubicle, Captain.  You are welcome to use one, if you wish. Commander Chakotay may be able to find a place to stay nearby. Ensign Kim is staying several doors down, for instance."

"Well, Seven, thank you:  I would enjoy staying with you very much," Kathryn lifted a hand to massage her throbbing head.

"Could you take us there?" Chakotay asked.  Kathryn turned to look at him; there was concern in his eyes.  She dropped her hand.

"Yes, I can."  Seven led the way.  A couple of minutes later, they stopped outside one of the uniformly sized buildings:  "This is my alcove."

"Any idea where I can find Harry?" Chakotay asked.

"The large building north of here is a mess hall."  Kathryn swallowed at Seven's words.  "Most of the crew is there at this time."

"Thanks," he turned and began to leave.

"Chakotay," Kathryn caught up with him.  "I'm sorry... about earlier.  I guess that I'm just not feeling myself today."  Chakotay glanced towards Seven, then looked back to Janeway:

"It's alright, Kathryn.  I'll see you later."  He turned again:

"Chakotay..." he stopped and turned back:

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She watched Chakotay walk away, then turned to follow Seven into the small building.  There were three beds:  two with headboards against the front wall, under windows, and the third parallel to the room's back wall.

At the head of the third bed was a doorway.  Kathryn found that it led to a bathroom that held a shower.  Fortunately, it had a bathtub.

"This is my bed," Seven indicated the one closest to the door.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you, Seven."

"You are welcome, Captain."  Seven replied.  "To be perfectly honest, I will welcome your company.  It is disconcerting knowing that guards are periodically roaming the paths at night.  The doors do not possess locks."  Kathryn pulled the covers back on the third bed and sat down:

"I take it you didn't sleep well," she commented, pulling off her boots.

"To put it mildly, yes."  Seven sat on the end of her bed stiffly.  "It is disconcerting, sleeping."

"Oh, you get used to it," Kathryn lay down.

"Really?"

"Oh, yes:  it's quite enjoyable.  Speaking of which, I would like to get some."

"It is still several hours until dark, Captain," Seven observed, puzzled.  "Captain, are you alright?"

A pause.

"Captain?"

Seven didn't receive a reply:  Kathryn had already fallen asleep.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
It was dark, and Chakotay couldn't sleep.  Harry was already snoring softly, which only kept Chakotay more awake.  The weather was nice out:  maybe he should take a walk.  Go to the mess hall and get a cup of herbal tea.  Yes, that would help him sleep.  Chakotay did his best to slip outside quietly.

There was a full moon out.  Chakotay could see a lunar colony on the surface.  He turned and began to walk toward the mess hall.  Insects were chirping like crickets.  Every building he passed, the lights were out.  Something like an owl flew overhead.  Chakotay walked on.  Suddenly, he collided with something.

"Oof."  Chakotay collapsed, falling over someone else in the darkness.  He hadn't seen them in the shadows.  Apparently, they hadn't seen him either.

"I'm sorry," struggling to his feet, he groped in the darkness, hoping to find an arm so he could help them up.  He stumbled, and hit them in the chest with his outstretched hand.

"Ouch!"  Chakotay leapt to his feet:

"I'm so sorry."  She grabbed for his hand.  As he pulled her up into the moonlight, Chakotay realized that it was Kathryn.  She crossed her arms over her chest, as if to protect herself where he had unwittingly infringed upon her privacy:

"Couldn't you have been more gentle?"

"Did I hurt you?  I mean..."  Chakotay stepped closer, then thought better of it and backed twice as far away.

"I'm fine," she answered.  "Just a little tender, that's all."

"I didn't expect to run into you like this..."

"Chakotay, slow down:  it's alright.  It was just an accident."  Chakotay shut up.  There was an uneasy silence for a few moments.  He was the first to break it:

"So... what brings you out at this time of night?"

"I could ask you the same," she teased.  He smiled uneasily:

"Well, uh, I couldn't sleep."  Chakotay couldn't figure out what to do with his hands for the life of him.  He also couldn't seem to keep his eyes off Kathryn's breasts:  they looked noticeably swollen.  "And you?" he clasped his hands behind his back.

"I just woke up."  Chakotay crossed his arms:

"Are you feeling better?" he uncrossed them.  She nodded:

"Much," she answered:  "I'm hungry."

"Well, I was on my way to see if I could get some tea," he forced his hands to his sides.  "If you want, I could take you to the mess hall; it might be nice to have some company."  Kathryn smiled:

"I would like that."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn had made an understatement when she had said she was hungry:  it would have been more accurate to say famished.  She had piled her plate high with food and was eating as if she hadn't seen food in months.

Now, an hour later, she scraped her plate, placing the last of her dessert in her mouth.  The fruit in the tart had tasted like apples, and the milk had been so sweet.

"This is good," she placed the last crumb in her mouth.  "Is there any more?"

"You had the last of it," Chakotay answered, seemingly more comfortable than he had been earlier.  "Actually, we should get some sleep."

Chakotay downed the rest of his tea, then took the tray to the recycler.  Kathryn watched his every movement.  He was so handsome.

"Come on, Kathryn:  it's late."

"I'm not tired."

"Yes you are," he helped her up:  "you just don't know it."

Kathryn swayed when he pulled her to her feet.  She felt intoxicated.  She wished that she could have more dessert.

Chakotay half walked her, half dragged her out of the building.  Kathryn tried to pull him away from the shack that she shared with Seven instead of towards it.  She was too weak from who-knew-what-she-had-eaten to even walk herself, let alone pull his away from his destination.

"Let's go somewhere else," she tried instead.  "How about a walk?  I want to take a walk.  I don't want to go back."

"What about Seven?  Won't she miss you?"

"She's not there:  probably off singing for someone who thinks he's important."

"All the more reason to go back," he pulled her along the path:  "You're tired, Kathryn:  it's time to go to bed."

"I've been sleeping for hours," she pulled the other way.

"Kathryn..." he pulled her back.  "It's time for bed."

Suddenly, her knees wouldn't work anymore, and she collapsed into a heap.  Chakotay leaned down, his lips only inches from her own.  She wanted to kiss him.  He picked her up before she had the chance.

He carried her in his arms the rest of the way.  He smelled so good:  yummy.  He smelled like...like Chakotay; he smelled like Chakotay.  Kathryn gazed up at his face:

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" she asked.

"Someone has to take care of you," he answered.  She giggled:  an odd sound.

"My voice of reason when my judgement is clouded.  It will get you in trouble one days, Commander."

He stopped in front of the door to Seven's and Kathryn's shack:  she felt him drop her feet to the ground, but she was still in his arms.

"Chakotay?" she said his name softly.

"What?"

"You're too good to me."  He didn't answer:  "You're so beautiful... no, that's not the right word."  She searched her mind for a word:  handsome?  Cute?  "Gorgeous, you're absolutely gorgeous."

"Kathryn..."

"Kiss me, Chakotay."

"Kathryn..."

She kissed him instead.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay couldn't help it:  he knew that he shouldn't be letting Kathryn kiss him, but he just couldn't stop himself.  Finally, he forced himself to pull away.

A light was turned on, and Seven came outside:

"Commander?"  Kathryn turned to look to Seven, but almost fell over.

Chakotay caught her:

"We went and got something to eat," he explained.

"Hi, Seven," Kathryn laid her head on Chakotay's shoulder.  "Good night, Seven."

"She is intoxicated," Seven stated.

"I think that it was something she ate," he looked down to Kathryn's face:  "Kathryn?"

She had passed out.

"I am uncertain as to what course of action we should take," Seven stated.  Chakotay lifted Kathryn up again:

"I'll lay her down inside.  She can sleep it off."

"Of course, Commander." Seven led the way inside, pulling back the blankets on what appeared to be Kathryn's bed.  Chakotay lay her down, then turned to Seven uneasily:

"When she wakes up in the morning, you should take her to sickbay.  She's supposed to have an injection and I don't know what will happen to her if she doesn't take it.  They may be able to help her if she has a hang over as well."

"Yes, Commander.  Good night."

"Good night, Seven."  He was about to leave, but stopped to say:  "Good night, Captain." Kathryn stirred a bit:

"Good night, Captain," she said in her sleep.  Chakotay shook his head, then left.


	3. Day 1

Never had her head hurt so much in her entire life.  Kathryn opened her eyes, but that only made it hurt worse:  she immediately closed them again.

"Good morning, Captain."  Kathryn winced at Seven's voice:

"Please don't talk so loud, Seven."  She forced herself to sit up.

"You are, no doubt, feeling the aftereffects of last nights interlude with the Commander."

"What?" Kathryn forced her eyes open.

"When you and Commander Chakotay returned last night, or rather this morning, you were less than lucid.  You appeared to be intoxicated:  I doubt that what you are experiencing is pleasant."

"What happened?"

"Apparently, you ate something that did not agree with you.  The Commander carried you here."

"He carried me?!?"

"Yes," Seven paused:  "do you not remember any of what occurred last night?"

"No, I don't," she admitted.  "We took a walk, we ate...  I don't know what happened after that."  Kathryn searched her mind, but she came up totally blank.

"The Commander recommended that I take you to sickbay," Seven stood.  Janeway looked up to her:

"I'm inclined to agree with his suggestion."  She forced herself to stand:  "And the sooner, the better."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay wiped the sweat off his brow and looked up.  The sun was high in the sky, and he wondered when they would be allowed to take a break for lunch.  He began hoeing again.  When he reached the end of the row, he paused again to wipe the sweat off his face.

"Water?"

Chakotay turned at Kathryn's voice.  She held out a jug.  He accepted it gratefully:

He took a drink:  cool, refreshing water.  He was careful not to drink too much too fast:  he didn't want to get sick.  Chakotay turned to look at her:

"Thanks," he handed her the jug.  "How do you feel?"

"Better."  He should have known:  she was glowing.  "Apparently, I shouldn't have drank that milk and ate that fruit together."

"I thought it might have been something like that," Chakotay picked up his hoe again.  Kathryn looked away uneasily:

"Sixteen crewmembers were brought to camp today.  B'Elanna and Tom were with them..." she paused:  "I think that she's the only female crewmember that isn't sick in the bunch."

"Like you were."  He could see Kathryn nod:

"It looks like you've got a lot of work done," she commented.  Chakotay nodded.  "Isn't it tiring?"  He shrugged:

"It could be worse," he answered.  "Harry and Tuvok are in the mines today."  He handed the water back to her, started to get ready to plow again.

"Chakotay, about last night..." she hesitated.  "I would appreciate it if you cleared something up for me."

"What would that be, Captain?"

"What exactly happened?"

"Captain?"

"I don't remember anything."  Chakotay looked away:

"Well, I walked you back:  had to carry you part way..." he wiped his hands on his pants.

"That's all?"  He didn't know how to answer.

"Well, uh, you did kiss me."

"You two!"  Chakotay and Kathryn turned to find a guard walking toward them:  "Can't you hear the bell?  It's time to go and eat."

"We didn't hear," Kathryn answered.

"Well now you know."  Kathryn turned to follow Chakotay toward the mess hall:  "Stop."  Kathryn and Chakotay turned back to fact the guard:  "What are you doing with that?"

"What?"

"That container," he replied:  "You're not supposed to be lifting anything heavy," he took the jug away from her.

"It's nothing really."

"I'll say what is and what isn't nothing... what are you looking at?" he asked Chakotay.  Chakotay turned to look back toward camp:  "And you," the guard turned back to Janeway:  "from now on, you stay at the compound.  You aren't to carry water out to the fields, or to the mines, or anywhere:  send someone else who isn't wearing blue."

"Alright."  She watched him stalk off, then followed Chakotay in.

"What was that all about?"

"I haven't the slightest, Chakotay."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
It was the first time Kathryn had been with the crew since she had arrived at the camp.  Of course, it wasn't all of the crew.  B'Elanna had told her that there was still about thirty-two people at the compound where the entire crew had been originally.

Kathryn was, once again, self-conscious about her appearance.  It helped slightly that eight other women were clad exactly the same way, but Kathryn still felt uncomfortable.  Kathryn smoothed her dress and resisted the urge to try to pull her pants up:  she constantly felt like they were about to fall off.  The simple gown wasn't too bad, just a little too large (truth be told, it felt like she was being swallowed in a tent), but the only reason her pants stayed up was because they had a drawstring waistline.

Adjusting her outfit wasn't the only impulse that Kathryn was trying her best to ignore.  She couldn't stop looking at Chakotay.  She wondered what it had been like to kiss him.  She wished that she could remember what had happened.

She and Chakotay sat with the rest of the senior crew, all members being present now.  B'Elanna was guzzling down water like she hadn't seen any in days, and seemed compelled to stop to adjust her pants every ten seconds.  Tom seemed concerned about his girlfriend's actions, but tried not to let it show.  Harry was scarfing down his food, hungry after his long day's work.  Tuvok ate calmly, and Neelix scrutinized each bite.

Chakotay seemed too distracted to be very concerned about food, but Kathryn gently pushed his plate toward him:  he needed nourishment in order to keep up his strength.  Chakotay complied.

Seven scrutinized Kathryn's every movement (truth be told, she had been ever since she and Chakotay had arrived together).  The young woman noticed the silent communication between the captain and commander.  She stared at Kathryn as Janeway finished what had been a plate overflowing with food.  She watched as the Captain began an impromptu briefing.  It was making Kathryn squirm; it made her so uncomfortable that she felt the need to go to the ladies' room again.  But she had just gone, so she forced herself to wait.

"Now that the senior staff is all back together, I think that it would be best if we discussed our escape plans."

"Departure will be difficult, to say the least, Captain," Tuvok supplied.  "We are still uncertain as to when the rest of the crew will be brought here."

"What have you found?"

"There are several shuttles a kilometer away, Captain," Neelix observed.  "I saw them on the way to the mines this morning.  It would be a tight fit, but perhaps we could use them."

"I've noticed that many of the guards carry something similar to a tricorder," Chakotay noted.  "If we could take one, we may be able to scan for someplace to hide:  find an escape route."  Kathryn had never been more grateful for a suggestion from her first officer before.

"At any rate, we'll be leaving at night," Kathryn commented.  "There aren't as many guards at that time."

"But there is a forcefield that would prevent us from escaping," Harry said.

"With a tricorder, we may be able to find a generator and disable the forcefield," B'Elanna put in.

"Or at least create a hole in the field," Tom agreed.

"All good suggestions people," Kathryn ran her hand across her abdomen and placed it on her hip.  "Harry, I want you to try to obtain a tricorder.  Tuvok, survey the camp:  determine the most viable escape route and if we can acquire any weapons.  Neelix, right now, your duties as morale officer are paramount; let the crew know that we're going to be getting out of here and not to give up hope.

"Tom, Chakotay:  if you can, take a look at those shuttles, but don't endanger your safety or the mission's.  I'm not too worried that you won't be able to fly the ships, but I want you to become familiar with the technology if at all possible.  B'Elanna, Seven, you'll work together on the force field once we get a tricorder."  Janeway paused:  "You've all done exemplary work so far:  I'm proud of all of you.  Keep your eyes open and your chin up.  We'll meet again tomorrow evening at dinner:  until then, dismissed."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn stepped out of the restroom and into the bedroom.  She smiled.  B'Elanna had fallen asleep on the next bed.  Kathryn went and pulled the blanket over her chief engineer.  Funny, but the half klingon/half human didn't seem so intimidating while she was asleep.

Kathryn never took naps:  quite the contrary, she tended to be an insomniac.  But today it seemed like a good idea.  She sat down on the edge of her bed.  As she pulled off her boots, she massaged first one foot, then the other.  They seemed a bit swollen.

"Captain," Seven stepped into the room.

"Captain," Seven said at a slightly lower volume level.  "May I see you for a moment?"

"Can't it wait, Seven?" Kathryn slid her feet onto her bed:  "I'm feeling a bit tired."

"Curious," Seven remarked.

"What is?"

"I was… talking to myself, Captain," she paused.  "I wished to inform you that a rumor is circulating about you and the Commander."

"A rumor?  Seven, there's fifty new rumors a day on _Voyager_.  It makes little difference what is being said about Chakotay and me."

"I believe that you would feel differently if you heard what the rumor is, Captain."

"Tell me after I wake up, Seven."

"Very well," Seven answered.  "I will leave you alone now so you may regenerate.  Sleep well."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
It had been a long day.  Seeing B'Elanna and Tom suddenly sitting across from him wasn't making it any shorter:

"Commander," Tom greeted.

"B'Elanna, Tom."  The duo had seated themselves without an invitation or a tray.  Chakotay picked up his fork:  "What's going on?"

"What do you mean, Chakotay?" Tom asked.

"Well, for starters, you don't have any food."

"We already ate," B'Elanna explained.

"But you still want to talk with me."  Tom and B'Elanna exchanged a look:

"There's a rumor going around, Chakotay," she admitted.

"And you want to know if it's true or not."  Chakotay took a bite.  "This rice is delicious."

"That's right," Tom replied.  "The rice was alright, too."

"What's the rumor?" Chakotay asked.  B'Elanna cleared her throat:

"Most of the crew has heard about what went on at our last location," Tom was trying not to grin.

"And what might that be?"

"You ought to know as well as anyone else, Chakotay," Tom answered.  B'Elanna elbowed her boyfriend:

"What Tom means to say is that the Captain was the first person to be sent to sickbay," B'Elanna put in.  She shrugged:  "Everyone knows that, Chakotay."

"So everyone just assumes that we had a lot of fun."

"Well, frankly, yes," Tom answered.

"Wipe that grin off your face, Paris," B'Elanna commented.  Tom desperately tried not to smile.  Chakotay wasn't sure if it was because of what had happened between him and B'Elanna, or if it was what he thought had happened between the two officers in question, Chakotay obviously being one of them.  "Chakotay, everyone is assuming that you and the Captain..."

"Had fun, yes I know."

"Well, what are we supposed to think, Chakotay?" Tom asked.

"The Captain had to go to sickbay that night," Chakotay answered.

"That's been going around, too."

"Did you ever stop to wonder why?"

"Chakotay..."  The Commander didn't let B'Elanna finish:

"She almost died because we didn't do what you people seem so certain that we did do."  There was a long pause:

"So nothing happened between you and the Captain?" Tom asked.

"That's right."

"You didn't..."  He interrupted B'Elanna again:

"No, and you two can make sure that the rest of the crew knows it."

"Yes sir," Tom answered.

"We're sorry, Chakotay," B'Elanna put in.  They were both standing by now:

"Just don't let it happen again."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn turned from the food line:

"Captain," Tom greeted.  "Do you have a minute?"

"What, Chakotay's response wasn't enough?" she began to push through the crowd.

"Captain?" B'Elanna's voice was filled with confusion.

"Tuvok and Seven both informed me of the rumors that have been going around.  I can assure you that any response that Chakotay gave would be the same as mine."

"But, Captain…"

"No buts," she answered.  "I'll see you both later."  She pushed through the crowd, leaving the two confused crewmembers behind, and stopping in front of a certain darkly handsome gentleman:

"Is this seat taken?"  Chakotay looked up, realizing for the first time that she was there:

"Are you sure you're willing to risk it?"  Kathryn set down her tray and sat down:

"So that is what they wanted."

"You guessed it."

"I secretly hoped that they had more sense than that."  Kathryn waited for a reply, but was surprised to not receive one.  She looked up:  Chakotay was staring at her.

"Kathryn, why should they think any different?"

"What do you mean?"  Chakotay began to stare at his plate.  He picked up his spoon:

"After hours dinners, meetings in your ready room, you asking me to stay after certain briefings…" he paused:  "The crew isn't blind, Kathryn.  They don't only look to you for support:  they care about your happiness.  What makes you happy, makes them happy."

Kathryn considered his words for a moment:

"I guess that I never thought about it that way."

They sat in silence for a few minutes; Chakotay played with his food, Kathryn ate each bite thoughtfully.  The number of occupants in the room was slowly thinning, and those who were there weren't really eating, rather, most of them were watching them.

"Are you going to eat that?"  Chakotay looked up from the roll that was still on his plate, untouched.

"No, I don't suppose that I am."  Kathryn reached over and to take it, but stopped short.  Chakotay took it and handed it to her, eyes locked with hers.

"Thank you."  Chakotay blinked, then looked away.  He stood, lifting his tray.  As he put his tray into the recycler, he heard Kathryn behind him.  She placed her tray in the receptacle, then stepped up beside him, staring out at the stars that were just coming out.

"Do you want to take a walk?"  Kathryn turned to look at him.  "I have this Captain, and she wants me to check out these shuttlecrafts…"

"I'd love to."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay and Kathryn strolled beneath the stars, walking toward the plateau that held the camp's compliment of shuttles.  The night was comfortably warm, and all was quiet except the music of the resident insects.

They occasionally saw a couple or someone alone, walking, but no one disturbed them.  Even those few seemed to lessen as they neared the top of the hill.  As they paused to catch their breath, Kathryn looked heavenward.  Chakotay drew his attention away from the sky and toward a lone figure.

He walked the same path that Chakotay and Kathryn had walked only minutes earlier.  Even in the darkness, Chakotay was almost certain who it was.

"Chakotay…"

"I see him, too."  Kathryn turned to look toward their destination.  Several barracks, a garage that was closed for the night, the control center:  "We should go back down."

"No," he stated.  "That will make him more suspicious.  Come on:  let's go."

Kathryn walked next to Chakotay solemnly, allowing him to lead the way.  Chakotay had a plan, and was grateful for his Captain's trust.  He stopped when they were almost to the group of buildings and leaned down to whisper into Kathryn's ear:

"Can you see him?"

"No."  Chakotay moved closer:

"Follow my lead."

She nodded, and he took her hand.  Chakotay broke into a run, leading her straight toward the barracks.  He wove in and out, pulling her along with him.  He could tell that she was getting tired.

Finally, they got to the large garage.  He pulled her around behind it, into the darkness.  Then he stopped running.  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn couldn't understand why she was so out of breath.  The gravity may have been stronger than earth standard and the elevation was higher than she was used to, but still.  Perhaps it was the past couple of days catching up with her.

Suddenly, Chakotay pulled her into darkness and pressed her up against a wall.  He paused only a moment, and then began to kiss her.  This totally surprised Kathryn at first.  She resisted for a few seconds, but then thought better of it and relaxed in his arms, allowing herself to enjoy the experience.

His body against her own.  The tingles that went up and down her spine.  His hands holding her just right.  His lips on her own.  She slipped her hand around his neck and pulled him closer.

But then he pulled away.  Kathryn almost cried out in protest, but instead gasped as he began to powder her neck with kisses.  Kathryn never would have guessed the amount of passion that he could display in that short minute.  It was over all too soon, and Chakotay pulled away, this time with the intention of not returning.

He wasn't leaving her arms.  On the contrary, he still had her effectively pinned to this wall.  But he was no longer announcing his love, rather, pretending once more that they were simply two lovers trying to get away.  He turned his head to one side to look for the guard who had been tailing them.

Kathryn looked the opposite direction, into the darkness.  Chakotay turned back to her.  She could feel his breath on the side of her face, still labored.  Whether from the run or the kiss, Kathryn didn't know.

"I think he's gone," he whispered.  Kathryn lay her head on her first officer's chest, fighting back tears.  He leaned his head down:  "What do you think?"  She couldn't answer.  "Kathryn?"  Janeway fought to compose herself:

"Take me back."  
   
   
   


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
They had walked down the hill, hand in hand, no sign of a guard:  or anyone else, for that matter.  As they stopped outside her door, Chakotay glanced back one last time.

"Well, I don't think that he suspected that we were trying to get a glimpse of those shuttles."  Kathryn didn't answer.  He turned to look at her, and found her staring at him.  He swallowed:  "Well, I guess that this is good night."  She still didn't answer.  "Good night."

As he turned away to leave, Kathryn suddenly put her hand on his arm.  He stopped and turned back, only to find Kathryn placing her other hand behind his neck and pulling him down toward her.

The kiss surprised him.  It wasn't passionate, as the last one had been in the heat of the moment.  It was actually rather gentle.  He found himself resisting, so she let go, confused.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, still breathing heavily.

"I could ask you the same, Chakotay."

"What, with the guard?"

"I didn't care if there was a guard or not."

"Kathryn?"  She wasn't making any sense.

"Well, Chakotay, excuse me if I thought that there was a little more going on than a cover to keep a guard from being suspicious.  You were, after all, incredibly convincing."  Kathryn turned and started walking away.

"Kathryn," Chakotay grabbed her arm:  "What are you talking about?"

"Our relationship."  Chakotay's eyes searched her own, and suddenly, her expression hardened:  "I guess there isn't one, Commander."  She pulled out of his grasp:  "Good night."  



	4. Day 4

 

It was going to be a beautiful morning, but Chakotay was too distracted to really notice.  He had been assigned to go to the mines that day, but he didn't mind at all.  He didn't really care about anything at the moment:  except for getting his mind off the one thing that was making it ache.  But it was becoming more and more evident that doing that was going to be impossible.  He wasn't going to be able to function at all until this was resolved.

Oh, he said "Excuse me," and "Good morning," to every crewmember he passed by or bumped into.  He filled his plate.  His eyes searched the room for a place to sit, and suddenly, his eyes found her.

With a new jump in his step, Chakotay traveled to his destination.  She didn't look up as he drew closer:  only B'Elanna and Seven acknowledged his approach:

"May I sit here?"

"Of course, Chakotay," B'Elanna answered.  "Have a seat."  He set down his tray and started to sit down, but before he could, Kathryn had already taken hers and was moving to another table.

B'Elanna and Seven exchanged a look of surprise:

"Curious," Seven stated.

"Excuse me," he followed Kathryn.  He didn't ask this time; he just sat down across from her.  "Kathryn..."

She moved her tray down the table and followed it.  He paused for a moment, sighed, and then did the same:

"Won't you even let me talk to you?" he asked.  She picked up her tray and moved to the table behind her.  He still wasn't giving up.  He followed her again:  "Kathryn."

"No, Chakotay," she answered.  "I don't want to talk to you, so please just leave me alone."  He stood as she took her tray headed toward the recycle station.  Chakotay watched her leave the mess hall, silent.

"Follow her, Chakotay," B'Elanna stood behind him.

"She doesn't want me to follow her," he answered.  He picked up his tray.

"That's exactly what she wants, Chakotay," she answered.  "That's what every woman wants."

"I'll see you later."  Chakotay recycled his tray and left.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn didn't know how long she had run.  She had run for as long as she could, passing members of her crew, ignoring their looks of curiosity. Now she was out of breath.  She came to a tree and stopped there, leaning against its trunk, resting in its shadows.

She felt strange.  Not really faint, though tired.  That wasn't surprising:  she hadn't slept much the night before.  And as she subconsciously ran her hand across her stomach, she almost thought she felt something flutter within her.  But when she felt for it again, it was gone.

Kathryn allowed herself to sink to the grass, and lay down, staring up at the tree's branches and the sky that peeped through them.  She felt so tired.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Captain.  Captain, wake up."  She didn't want to wake up.  She rolled over, and found a face full of grass:  "Captain..."  the voice was becoming more insistent.

Kathryn rolled back over and propped herself up on her elbows:

"What is it?" she tried to focus on B'Elanna's face, still only half awake:

"I thought you might want to come to sickbay with me," Torres answered.  "There are sixteen more crewmembers there."  Kathryn pushed herself off the damp ground, brushing off her clothing:

"I might as well," she answered.  "Have to be there to raise morale."

"I'll walk with you," B'Elanna fell into step beside her superior officer.  They walked in silence for a minute or two, and then B'Elanna broke it:  "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"About Chakotay."

"Why, is something wrong?"

"You tell me."  Kathryn paused, but then walked on without replying.  B'Elanna continued:  "Sometimes, he is nothing more than a fool."

"I suppose."

"Captain, whatever he did to hurt you, I know that he didn't mean it."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because he loves you.  He loves you so much that it hurts, and it hurts so much that he doesn't know how to cope with it."  Kathryn didn't answer.  A female crewman suddenly ran by:  "Hey, what's your hurry?" B'Elanna asked her.

"There was an accident at the mine," she answered.  "I heard that the Commander and Ensign Kim got hurt."   
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay's head hurt:  a lot.  He sat up, which, of course, made it hurt worse, but he ignored the pain:

"What do you think you're doing?" the doctor, Talitha?, stepped up to him.

"What happened?"

"You saved the life of one of your crewmembers," she answered.  "Pulled him out right before the shaft caved in entirely.  You're very fortunate that you only got hit in the head and were able to pull him out before you lost consciousness."

"How is Harry?"

"The young man is fine.  He had a broken arm, some bruises, but he will recover in a short amount of time."

The doors that led to the corridor opened, allowing Kathryn and B'Elanna to enter the room.

"B'Elanna:  Captain," Chakotay greeted hesitantly.  Kathryn took one look at him, and then nearly threw herself into his arms, knocking the air out of him.  The doctor left the room silently, while B'Elanna managed to stammer something about checking to see how Harry was doing.  The doors closed behind her.

"I'm alright, Kathryn."  She lifted her head from Chakotay's chest and tried to wipe away the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks:

"I don't know what came over me, Chakotay," she sniffed.  "I couldn't stop thinking about..."  She started sobbing again.  Chakotay took her into his arms:

"Shhh..." he stroked her hair.  "I'm fine, Harry's fine, everything's going to be fine."  She pulled away gently, turning away from him, staring out the window.

"I'm sorry."  He stood and came to her side:

"No, I'm sorry," he answered.  "I shouldn't have done what I did last night."

"Oh, the kiss was great, it was everything else that was awful."  She looked up to him:  "I just want this so very badly right now."

"Are you sure?  You aren't going to change your mind once we're back aboard  _Voyager_ , are you?"

"No, I won't change my mind.  I need this, Chakotay.  I don't know why, but right now more than ever."  She shook her head:  "Look at me, I can't stop crying; I don't know what's wrong with me."  Chakotay smiled and took her into his arms again.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn's stomach growled.  She hadn't eaten lunch, and she had barely touched her breakfast all.  Luckily, it was almost time for dinner.

Kathryn didn't feel right:  she was a bit dizzy, but that wasn't it.  She just didn't feel like herself.  First she had thrown herself at Chakotay.  Then she had turn and ran away from him, only to throw herself at him again, in front of the significant other of the crew's biggest gossip, no less.  She was sure that Tom was already having a hey day with this one.  Kathryn doubted that she had ever been more embarrassed in her life.

Something within Kathryn moved.  Kathryn stopped in her tracks.  It had been different than her body's complaints about hunger.  Kathryn's hand rose to rest on her stomach.

"Kathryn?"  Chakotay had stopped a few steps ahead of her:  "are you alright?"  He moved back to her side.

"I'm fine, Chakotay," she answered.  "I just need to speak with the doctor.  You go ahead:  I'll see you later."  He took a step closer to her:

"Are you sure?"  She nodded:

"Yes, I'll only be a few minutes."  Chakotay leaned down and kissed her on the cheek:

"I'll see you soon."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay looked up just as Kathryn sat down across from him:

"Captain."

"I told you I wouldn't be long," she greeted as she picked up her fork, obviously in a better mood than she had been a few minutes earlier.  She took a bite.

"I told the senior staff that we wouldn't be meeting tonight."

"Thank you."  They both continued eating in silence:

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"  Kathryn's gaze returned to her plate.  "Is it about what you needed to talk to the doctor about?"

"In a way," she answered.  Her eyes met his own:  "I'm not quite sure how to tell you, Chakotay."

"Tell me what?"  She picked at her food a few moments, and then put down her fork.  She stood up and walked around the table, straddling the bench to sit on his right side, tentatively placing her left hand on his shoulder, leaning closer so she could see his face yet he would be the only one to hear her:

"I'm pregnant," she stated softly.

"You're what?" he pulled away.  Apparently, he had spoken a bit loudly, because several crewmembers turned to stare.  Chakotay slid his tray down the table a ways and followed it, leaving Kathryn behind.

He sat down, then noticed an ensign farther down the table, staring at him with his mouth open.

"What are you looking at?" Chakotay demanded.  The ensign closed his mouth:

"Nothing sir," he stood and picked up his tray:  "excuse me."

"Aren't you going to ask who the father is?"

Chakotay suddenly realized that Kathryn had followed him.  She was sitting next to him again, this time seated facing the direction opposite his own.  They weren't touching, but her presence was still making him feel uncomfortable:

"No, I'm not."  She looked back to him:

"Don't you want to talk about it at all?"

"No."

"Lower your voice, you're making the crew stare."

"I don't care," he answered at the same volume.  "They're going to be staring before too long, why not get used to it," he muttered under his breath.  He hadn't meant for Kathryn to hear, but apparently she had:

"I don't care about that, Chakotay:  not when I'm carrying y..."

"That's a first," he didn't let her finish.  Kathryn turned away, allowing them both to fall silent again.  Finally, she broke it: "The doctor asked me to come see her tomorrow," she looked back to him:  "I would appreciate it if you were there."

"I'm busy."  She turned away, nodded.  Kathryn stood:

"I'm sorry, Chakotay.  I never meant to hurt you."  She walked away, taking her tray to another table.  Chakotay watched her go.

"Too late."

 


	5. Day 5

 

The noise was incredible.  She had been able to tune it out at every other meal.  It had been easy:  all she had to do was focus on the person she was eating with and the sounds of her entire crew talking at once would fade into the background.  No such luck today.

Kathryn tried to push through the mayhem that filled the mess hall.  She lifted her tray as she passed between the benches of crewmen, lowered it as she reached an aisle.  They all looked so happy:  oblivious to her distress.  She desperately longed to be far away from these voices that besieged her.

Finally, she found a seat in a relatively secluded corner, blissfully quiet compared to the rest of the room.  As she sat down, she suddenly realized how grateful she was that her dress still disguised her 'condition.'  She still wasn't sure how to explain this to the crew, and was far from ready to provide an explanation.  What was worse, her anchor, her only companion when she was in distress, still wasn't speaking to her.

Oh, how she longed to hear Chakotay's voice right now.  She tried to casually search the room for his face.  She found him easily.  Unfortunately, he was staring at her.  She looked away quickly, ashamed to be caught in the act.  Another quick glance revealed that he was just as chagrined that he had given into the urge to stare at her.  He tried to look away, but couldn't seem to help but look back to her every few moments.  Kathryn forced herself to stare at her plate.

Not for the first time since  _Voyager_  had been thrown into the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn felt incredibly alone.  She had dreamed for such a long time of becoming a mother.  But now that it was finally happening to her, she wasn't even on speaking terms with her child's father.  What was even worse was that she now wondered if it would even be right to have this baby.  If things remained as they were, it looked like he wouldn't have a Daddy.  She didn't know if she could raise a child alone and be the captain of a starship.

"Is this seat taken?"  Kathryn looked up, startled.  Tuvok stood before her expectantly.  She lifted a hand to indicate that it was free.

He sat down silently, laying his napkin in his lap and picking up his fork before breaking the silence:

"I have observed that you seem... troubled... this morning, Captain."  Kathryn took a long sip of her drink before replying:

"You might say that," she stated cryptically.

"Am I correct in assuming that it is concerning the altercation last night between you and the Commander?"  Kathryn looked up in surprise.  Tuvok's expression remained as impassive as ever.

"Where did you hear about that?"

"Mr. Paris and Kim were discussing it last night with Mr. Neelix in our cabin."

"News travels quickly."

"Indeed," Tuvok agreed.

"I don't know what to do, Tuvok."

"Perhaps it would be of assistance to you if you discussed the situation."

"It probably would..." she drifted off.  A pause ensued.

"Yet you do not wish to converse with me on the subject?" Tuvok concluded.  Kathryn didn't answer.  "Then I shall go elsewhere and allow you to eat alone," Tuvok began to stand.

"No," she lifted a hand:  "I don't want to talk about it, Tuvok, but I need to, and you're the only person..."  She stopped, looking up to him:  "Please stay."  Tuvok nodded:

"As you wish."  He sat down:  "Whenever you are ready."  Kathryn nodded and took a deep breath, eyes closed.  She opened them again, looking at Tuvok:

"I don't even know where to start."

"You are questioning your decision to proceed in a relationship with the Commander?"  Why was she not surprised that he knew about that?

"Yes, yes I am," she answered.  "But it isn't quite that easy, Tuvok."  A pause:  "It would seem that the Commander no longer wishes to pursue a relationship."  Tuvok raised an eyebrow:

"Fascinating," he stated.  "You did not tell the Commander that he is the father of your child."  She was surprised, however that he knew about that:

"Tuvok, how...?"

"Captain:  I am the father of three children.  I am no stranger to the miracle of a new life beginning."

"Yes, but Chakotay and I..." she paused uneasily, considering what words to use:  "Contrary to the rumors, we haven't..." she just couldn't finish it.

"Captain:  I am aware that you have not been sexually active since our arrival in the Delta Quadrant.  I am also aware that shortly before you arrived here, you were being treated due to the fact that you refused to initiate intimate relations with the Commander.

"After observing your behavior the past few days, I concluded that you are with child.  In light of your advanced state of pregnancy and the injections that you and other women of the crew are given each morning, I determined that you were impregnated through artificial insemination and that your reproductive processes have been accelerated.

"The only logical conclusion is that the Commander unknowingly participated in the conception of your child.  He was designated as your companion, is the only individual who has had the opportunity to impregnate you in the past five days, and is also the only person I believe you would consider as the father of any children you would choose to have."  Janeway lowered her face into her hands:

"The crew?"

"To the best of my knowledge, Captain, the crew is as unaware of the situation as you were twenty-four hours ago.  However, I assure you that any decision to further your relationship with Commander Chakotay would be accepted by the crew."

"You think so, Tuvok?"

"Indeed:  in fact, I believe that they would strongly support it."

"I wish that it were as easy as it sounds when you say it, Tuvok," she stated softly.

"If I may, Captain:  when is this child to be delivered?"

"In about four days."

"Fascinating," he noted.  "The human reproduction rate has been multiplied by approximately 28.475 times.  It is surprising that this is possible at all."

"I feel like it cheapens the experience."

"Captain, the situation you and the Commander are in is not ideal, but it is also not void of a unique bond.  I also believe that the Commander will be more accepting than you think."

"I hope so, Tuvok," Kathryn paused:  "Thank you."

"Captain?" Tuvok asked in confusion.

"For listening."  Tuvok nodded his understanding:

"You are welcome, Captain."

As Tuvok stood and left, Kathryn lay her left hand over the life she held within, beneath the table and discreetly hidden from any inquiring eyes that could be watching.  She received a kick in return, and Kathryn bit her lip, desperately trying not to cry.

Emotions flooded through her:  doubt filled her mind, joy at these sensations, wonder at how she could possibly be carrying Chakotay's child...  But all at once, Kathryn was absolutely certain of one thing:  she was going to have this baby.

The new life she now carried was a part of her and Chakotay, and even if he decided not to take part in his child's life, she was not about to lose this miracle.  She still loved Chakotay, and she was going to have his child.  Somehow, Kathryn would do it.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
He was staring at her again.  Each time he realized it, he looked away immedietely, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to stop staring at her.  To say that he was miserable would be an understatement:  all he could think about was what had happened the night before.

Chakotay tried--again--to divert his attention away from his captain, but found himself to be less than successful.  He was completely oblivious to the rest of the world as Kathryn stood and crossed the room, travelling toward the recycler.  He strained his neck, trying to see if he she was showing.  She was just too far away.

Chakotay forced himself to look away, trying desperately to think of nothing but the food that sat in front of him.  But even though he wasn't looking at her, he couldn't stop thinking about her.  In fact, he had absolutely no interest in eating, he was so upset.  Chakotay set his fork down and sighed.

"My invitation still stands, Commander."

Chakotay almost jumped out of his skin.  Kathryn stood before him.  He had been trying so hard to forget about her that he hadn't even noticed her approach.

She was showing.  Not enough for anyone to notice had they not been looking for it, mind you, but enough for him to see.  Her clothing hid it well, but he knew her well enough to see it...

Kathryn crossed her arms over her waist, sensing his inquisitive eyes upon her.  Chakotay turned back to his plate, picking up his fork again:

"My schedule hasn't changed," he answered.  There was a pause:

"I see," she answered softly.  "I'll see you tonight at the briefing."

Chakotay was already kicking himself mentally.  He watched her leave the mess hall.  Even after she had moved out of his view, she was still in his thoughts. It just didn't make any sense.  What had she said?  'I'm pregnant.'  She had just blurted it out:  had she expected him to be happy?  To accept the child as his own?  And who was the father?  She had held him at arm's length for so long that he had just assumed that there was no one else...

Was there anyone else?  How could there be?  She never had the time:  she was always working, and even when she was off duty she was almost always either with him or alone.

"Chakotay."  He looked up and suddenly realized that B'Elanna was talking to him.  She was seated next to Tom at the other end of the table, holding a glass of water:  "What in the world did you two fight about?" Blue:  she was wearing blue.  Just like Kathryn.  B'Elanna took a gulp of the clear liquid.  What had he read about klingon females drinking inordinate amounts of water?  Chakotay searched his mind, trying to remember.

Suddenly, it hit him.  He nearly dropped his fork.  It was so obvious:  their confinement together, Kathryn's night in sickbay, the shuttlecraft...  Why hadn't he seen it sooner?

He was the father.

"I just can't figure you two out," Tom announced:  "first she was mad at you, then you make up, and now this..."  Chakotay didn't even hear them.  He stood up and left as fast as possible, brushing past Kim, who was just arriving with his food:

"Excuse me..." he mumbled.

"Chakotay?" Tom glanced at the plate full of food that Chakotay hadn't even recycled and then turned back to see him push through a group of crewmembers that were standing to leave.

"Where's he going?" Harry asked.  But Chakotay was already out the door.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Lie down," Doctor Talitha turned to finish setting up the equipment.

It took Kathryn a few moments to manage to climb onto the biobed--why did they have to make these things so high?--then she attempted to lie down in a comfortable position.  As she waited, Kathryn found herself thinking about Chakotay again.  Oh, how she wished he were here.

Kathryn was pulled from her reverie when the doctor elevated the back of the bed so she could see better.  Talitha held a scanner in her left hand and adjusted the equipment with her free hand.  Then she turned the screen on and moved back so Kathryn could see.  It only took a few moments for the screen to come in focus.  Kathryn's breath caught in her throat as emotions flooded over her.

She could see her baby.

"There's the head," Talitha pointed.  "One of the hands."  Kathryn smiled when she felt and saw him move at the same time:  "Sure is an active one."

Suddenly, someone took Kathryn's left hand, swallowing it in their own.  Kathryn looked up:

"Chakotay," she exclaimed softly:  "you came."  Chakotay kissed Kathryn on the top of the head:

"He's beautiful, Kathryn," he whispered.  Kathryn turned back to the image of her unborn child.  Neither spoke for what seemed like a long time:

"He's yours," she finally pronounced.

"I know, Kathryn," he whispered.  Kathryn turned to find that tears were streaming down his cheeks:  "I'm sorry, Kathryn:  I'm so sorry."  Kathryn reached up for him and they embraced, both crying.  Doctor Talitha cleared her throat, and Chakotay pulled away.

"After your baby is born, they will take the child from you," she stated.

"What would you suggest, Doctor?" Chakotay asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.  Talitha turned away to turn off the screen:

"I would suggest that you try to escape."  Kathryn and Chakotay looked to her in surprise.  "That is what I would do, if I were in your place.  Surely you have began plans already," she turned away to prepare Janeway's injection:  "You are a resourceful people," she stated:  "I have no doubt that you will succeed."  She turned and placed the hypospray on Janeway's wrist, injecting the medication:  "You may go now."

Chakotay and Kathryn left the room hand in hand.  The doors slid open, but Kathryn stopped in the doorway.  Chakotay looked to her, question in his eyes.  She looked back:

"Doctor, what would happen to the women who are pregnant if they were to stop taking their injections?"  Talitha approached the couple, hypospray still in hand:

"Once treatments stop, their reproductive processes will slow to their normal speed," she answered.  "Your crewmembers will have healthy babies whether they continue the treatments or not."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"I'll see you tomorrow."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"What made you change your mind?" Kathryn asked as they walked down the hill, fingers still interlocked together.  He turned to face her:

"I couldn't sleep last night," he admitted:  "couldn't stop thinking about you... the baby.  And then this morning, it just hit me."  He took her hand:  "You didn't tell me."

"I tried to, Chakotay," she paused:  "You didn't want to know the truth."  He looked away, cursing himself inside.  He looked back, their eyes meeting:

"I'm sorry."  Kathryn closed the distance between them:

"It's alright, Chakotay," she whispered.  "I forgive you."  Chakotay took her into his arms.  Neither of them said anything for what seemed like a long time.  Suddenly, he realized that Kathryn was crying:

"Hey," he pulled away enough to see her face:  "what's wrong?"

"I'm afraid."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to lose this baby, Chakotay," she stopped:  "our baby."  She looked away:  "They're going to take them all from us."

"Then we're going to have to get to  _Voyager_  before that can happen," his words brought her back to him.

"But what if ours comes before...?"  He sighed:

"I won't let them, Kathryn," he answered.  "No matter what happens, I won't let them take our baby away from us."  Chakotay pulled her closer, lending Kathryn the only comfort she could probably feel at a time like this.  But inside, he was just as scared as she was.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay watched Kathryn as she ate.  They were in the mess hall, which was emptying almost as quickly as it had been filled.  Only the senior-most members of the crew remained.  He knew that he shouldn't be staring at her in front of them, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her.  She was so beautiful.

The day's hard work showed on the faces of the table's occupants:  in their drooped soldiers, the frowns that seemed to be permanently etched into their faces.  Even Tuvok looked tired.  As people began to push back their plates, Chakotay watched the woman he loved stand and clear her throat, one hand on her hip:

"Well, now that everyone is almost done, I suggest that we begin the briefing.  Mr. Kim:  what have you found?"

"I was able to obtain a tricorder in the mines..." he paused:  "I don't know what happened to it in the cave-in."  Kathryn had began circling the table, walking behind her officers as Kim spoke, and now stopped to sympathetically lay a hand on the young man's shoulder.

"Commander Tuvok has given me the device and I have been familiarizing myself with the tool," Seven supplied a bit sharply.  She paused, frowning:  "It works in a similar fashion to a federation tricorder, but I am experiencing difficulty in translating this species' language."  Janeway nodded and crossed her arms:

"What else have you found?"

"I've finished my visual examination of the security network," Torres answered.  "We should be able to disable the entire security network at a single control point."  Chakotay watched as Kathryn tried not to smile.  She continued her pacing.

"A logical plan," Tuvok put in.  "We would then be able to depart before there has been an opportunity for our captors to retaliate or raise the forcefields again."

"Agreed," Janeway stated.  She stopped, back at the head of the table:  "Tuvok, if possible, I want for you to find out what it was that enabled these people to capture us and  _Voyager_ , and find some way to counteract their strategy, or weapon, as the case may be.

"Seven," she continued after Tuvok nodded his understanding.  "Keep working on the tricorder.  I want you and B'Elanna to find a way to disable the shields that are keeping us here:  use whatever personnel you need.  I also want to know exactly where  _Voyager_  is so Tom can determine the quickest escape route."

"Understood."

"Of course, Captain."

"Captain, I have a question," Neelix interrupted:  "You have seen the shuttles, and it's obvious that they're out in the open.  How are we going to get the crew to them without the guards noticing and attacking?"

"If I may," Tuvok answered.  "I suggest that we proceed at a time when our captors least expect it."

"When would that be?" Harry asked.

"I would advise that we depart on the ninth night."  Chakotay's head shot up:  Tuvok knew?

"And why the ninth night, Tuvok?" Tom asked, arms crossed.  "Wouldn't it make just as much sense to leave on the eighth or the tenth?"

"Lieutenant," Kathryn stated this word in such a way that Tom clearly got the message; he shut up.  She turned back to Tuvok, seemingly unfazed, and Chakotay suddenly realized that she had known that Tuvok knew.  He could also tell that she was uncomfortable at this mention of it.  Kathryn continued:  "I agree with your recommendation, Co..."

"Captain," Seven interrupted.  "I concur with Lieutenant Paris:  given the information, there is no validity of Commander Tuvok's statement..."

"Seven," Janeway cut her off, obviously at the end of her rope.  "It's been a long day, and I have no intention of explaining..."

"Captain," Chakotay broke in.  "perhaps the senior staff's questions will be more easily answered when you make your announcement in the morning."

He didn't look away as she turned to face him.  He wouldn't back down when he knew that he was right, that she needed to tell them.  But as her eyes locked with his, he suddenly he realized that the reason she had been uncomfortable about the mention of the ninth night was because she didn't know how to tell the crew.

"What announcement?" Neelix broke the silence.  Kathryn looked away, obviously thrown off guard by Chakotay's statement.  Obviously to Chakotay, that was.

"I couldn't agree more, Commander," she managed.  She turned back to the rest of the crew:  "Dismissed."

The majority of the officers that had been seated around the table departed whispering amongst themselves.  Within moments, the entire mess hall was empty with the exception of  _Voyager's_  captain, first officer, and a departing chief of security.  Kathryn turned and sat on the edge of the table, lifting her right hand to massage the bridge of her nose:

"Tuvok," her hand involuntarily dropped to rest on her stomach as her second-in-command stopped and turned to face her:  "please inform the crew that their presence is required during tomorrow's morning meal."

"Aye, Captain," Tuvok turned to leave.  Chakotay watched the vulcan depart, then stood:

"You didn't tell me that you told Tuvok," he stated as he moved to stand in front of her.  Kathryn's shoulders sagged:

"I didn't," she answered:  "I didn't have to:  he already knew."

"I see."

"Speaking of which..."  Kathryn placed a hand on her hip:  "It seems that my first officer has decided that his captain needs to inform the crew of our situation."  He paused, looking away for a moment, considering her words:

"They deserve to find out from their captain, Kathryn."  She crossed her arms:

"I had a feeling you'd say that," she sighed.  "What am I supposed to tell them?"

"The truth always works," he stated with a smile.  Kathryn playfully lifted a hand to slap him:

"I should demote you."  Chakotay had ducked, but now stepped even closer, self-assuredly asking:

"And where are you going to find a new first officer in the Delta Quadrant?"

"Oh, I didn't say that you would be assigned to another department," she answered:  "just busted to ensign."  She slugged him in the arm.

"Ow!  Something tells me that I would have a hard time ordering the junior officers around."

"Oh, I know you'd manage..."  Chakotay wasn't sure who initiated the kiss.  Their lips had been only inches apart, and then they were suddenly in each other's arms.  It seemed strange, to be kissing Kathryn.  He had wanted to for almost as long as he could remember, but now...

Chakotay forced himself to break away:

"Kathryn, the crew..."

"Isn't here right now."

Kathryn pulled his head down, causing their lips to meet again, kissing him even more passionately than before.  She pulled away a few moments later:

"I love you, Kathryn."

"Flattery will get you no where, Commander."

"Understood, sir."  She slapped his arm again, but didn't retort.  Their eyes met, and Chakotay brushed her hair out of her face, caressing her cheek.  Chakotay leaned down and kissed her gently.  Then he pulled away and she spoke in a whisper:

"Good night, Chakotay."

"Leaving so soon?" he asked, falling into step beside her as she headed for the nearest exit.

"Someone has to."

"I'll see you in the morning?"

"Of course."

"I'll pick you up early."

"Escorting me shall suffice."

"Ah...  You take all the fun out of it."

"Good night, Chakotay."

"Good night, Captain."

 


	6. Day 6

 

Kathryn watched as the members of her crew filed into the mess hall.  Chakotay suddenly appeared beside her, setting down a tray.

"I've been told that everyone in the crew has received their orders to meet here."  Kathryn didn't reply.  Chakotay kneeled beside her:  "What's wrong?

"What are they going to think, Chakotay?"

"Hey:  you're the one who told me that it doesn't matter what they think or say..."

"But look at me..."

"I have:  and you look absolutely beautiful."  Kathryn could feel the baby move inside her as Chakotay placed his hand on her swollen tummy.

"I just feel so bizarre in this condition."  It seemed that she had blown up overnight.

"Kathryn," his words brought her back to him.  "You are beautiful," he repeated:  "You are so beautiful that I can hardly keep myself from taking you into my arms right here, right now:  I have never seen you look more attractive."

"Captain," B'Elanna's greeting interrupted.  She and Tom had arrived suddenly, and were now setting their trays down across the table, sitting next to where Chakotay's tray already sat.

"Good morning, B'Elanna," Kathryn smiled.  Chakotay had already stood, moving to his seat across from her.

"I was beginning to get worried about you.  You were gone when Seven and I woke up," the relief was evident in Torres' voice.

"The Commander and I had a few things to discuss before this morning's announcement."

"Captain!" Neelix greeted exuberantly:  "if I may say so, you look radiant this morning."

"Why thank you, Neelix:  you don't look so bad yourself," she looked up as Seven sat down beside her.  Seven placed her napkin on her lap, then noticed the Captain's changed shape:

"Captain..."  Kathryn cut her off:

"Did you sleep well Seven?"  Seven looked at her, confused, then seemed to realize that Janeway didn't want her to mention it:

"It was... intriguing.  I am still unaccustomed to the disconcerting feeling that accompanies waking."

"Maybe you would like some real quarters when we get back to  _Voyager_ , Seven," B'Elanna commented.  "Tom, could you get me some more water?"  Tom rolled his eyes, but took B'Elanna's glass.

"I see no reason to abandon Cargo Bay II at this time."

"Well, you have been complaining about a lack of privacy..."

"Is there any reason that I should not?" Seven queried.  Janeway jumped in, not wanting an argument on her hands:

"What B'Elanna is trying to say, Seven, is that the cargo bay is a public area; there are times that crewmembers need to be in the cargo bay.  Your privacy will always be violated at one time or another because we need to use the area," Kathryn paused:  "Maybe it's time you got some quarters of your own, and then both issues would be solved."

"I would have privacy..." Seven began.

"And the crew would be able to use the cargo bay whenever they needed to."

"That is logical, Captain," Tuvok stated as he seated himself.

"I will consider, your suggestion, Captain," Seven answered.  Torres rolled her eyes, then noticed that Paris was returning:

"Tom..." she greeted.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Tom answered as B'Elanna began to gulp down the cool beverage.  "Where's Harry?" he asked as he seated himself.

"I believe that he is the last in line," Tuvok replied.  "He was inspecting quarters in order to determine whether every crewmember is present."

"Speak of the devil..." B'Elanna put in as she caught sight of Harry, headed their way.

"Why are you comparing Mr. Kim with a man who goes around doing evil things?" Neelix asked.

"It's a figure of speech, Neelix," Tom explained.

"That isn't a very flattering figure of speech..." Neelix was cut off by Harry:

"Sorry I'm late," he sat down:  "Everyone's here, Captain."

"The Ensign is correct, Captain," Tuvok replied: "I have concluded a head count and determined that all members of the crew are accounted for."

Kathryn looked to Chakotay; he smiled encouragingly, then stood.  He took his glass and tapped the side with his eating utensil.  The room slowly became quieter as all eyes turned to him.

"I'm sure that everyone is wondering why we asked you all to be here this morning..." he hesitated.  "Now that everyone is here, the Captain would like to make an announcement."  Chakotay took Kathryn's hand and helped her stand.

As Chakotay helped Janeway step up and onto the bench she the few voices that had continued before now stopped immedietely.  Kathryn smoothed her dress self-consciously.  Then the hum of voices began.  Kathryn scanned the many faces of the members of her crew, trying to see each of the many reactions that were beginning.

Tom whispered something to Harry.  Harry turned red.  B'Elanna's mouth was hanging open.  Neelix's eyes looked like they were about to pop out.  Chakotay gave Kathryn's hand a squeeze in support.  She took a deep breath:

"Please:  hear what I have to say, and then you can talk amongst yourselves."  The room was instantly very quiet:  "As you can see, I am... expecting a baby.  For those of you who are wondering, it is Commander Chakotay's child, but it is not what you think.  The Commander and I did not have relations of that nature, rather, our captors seemed to deem it necessary for me to have a child.

"These aliens have medical technology that shortens the length of a pregnancy.  Because I was the first woman to become pregnant,  my due date is in three days.  If you are a woman wearing blue, I feel compelled to inform you that you, too, are pregnant."  The crew was beginning to talk again:  "I understand your concern about the situation:  if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me after breakfast."

Chakotay helped Kathryn down, and she sat back down heavily.  The room around them was filled with voices, but the senior staff was completely silent.

"Now you know," she stated softly.  Unlike the rest of the room, the senior staff seemed to be speechless.  No one spoke for almost a full minute.

"Captain, what if I don't want this child?" Torres blurted out.

"B'Elanna!" Tom exclaimed.  Suddenly the senior staff was all talking at once:

"I don't know how to raise a child... and after my relationship with my mother..."

"I had a bad relationship with my father, I still want this baby..."

"Captain, how will you raise this child?  As the commanding officer of..."

"I hope that you've been eating right, Captain..."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn sympathetically.  Tuvok watched the confusion, obviously considering it illogical.  Harry was very silent.

"Stop!"  Kathryn felt her child jump within her, as did the rest of the people at the table.  "B'Elanna, you know as well as I do that Federation law prohibits abortions, and if I may be blunt, you should have thought of that sooner."

"Captain..."

"I don't want to hear it; you and Tom have been having intimate relations for over a year, and it was bound to happen sooner or later..."

"We were using birth control..."

"Which is not 100% effective," she answered.  "If you consider yourself mature enough to sleep with a man, you should at least have the decency to accept the fact that you are going to have his child."

"It isn't even alive yet."

"That's garbage, and you know it..."

"Even if I wanted to," B'Elanna cut her off, "I don't know how to raise a child..."  This time, it was Kathryn who interrupted:

"And you think that I do?"  Chakotay reached over and placed his hand over Kathryn's:  "I'm sorry, B'Elanna:  I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.  But even if we were on  _Voyager_  and had the facilities to murder your baby, I wouldn't allow it, and I don't believe that the Doctor would perform the... operation... either.  If, after you've had the baby, you still don't want the child, I'm sure that someone would be willing to adopt it."

Kathryn paused, waiting for B'Elanna to respond, but her chief engineer remained silent:  "Neelix, I would suggest that you make morale a priority this morning:  certain members of the crew will be ecstatic, others will have reactions similar to Lieutenant Torres'.  Make sure that they know what is expected of them."

"Yes, Ma'am," he stated resolutely.

"Captain," Seven began:  "Do you still intend to attempt escape in three nights?"

"Yes, I do."

"Shouldn't we wait until after the babies are born?" asked Tom.

"In that scenario, we would have twenty-five recovering women as well as twenty-five infants," Tuvok replied.

"But if the Captain goes into labor, we will have twenty-five pregnant women and a new member of the crew on the way," Neelix put in.

"I won't," Kathryn answered.

"Captain," Seven stated, confusion in her voice:  "there is no means at our disposal to prevent you from doing just that."

"Even if I do go into labor," she answered, "it's the only way.  We are going to get off this planet."

"Captain?"

"Our captors intend to take the babies from us after they are born," Chakotay supplied.

"Why would they do that?" Harry asked.

"It's rather obvious that we're slaves here, Harry," Tom answered.

"No familial bond or knowledge of parent's beliefs would make the children most willing slaves," Tuvok agreed.

"At any rate, it isn't an option," Janeway answered.  "I won't accept the fact that they're going to just take our children away from us:  we'll have to leave on the ninth night."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay squinted against the bright sunlight as he stretched.  His back ached already, and he had only been working for a couple of hours.  It was a warm day, and it looked like it was only going to get hotter.

"Water?"  Chakotay turned to find Harry offering him a jug.

"Thanks."  As Chakotay took a long drink, Harry seemed to hesitate:

"I guess that congratulations are in order."

"It's strange:  I never allowed myself to hope that..." Chakotay stopped.

"You never really let yourself believe that you and the Captain would ever be together," Harry supplied.

"I guess so."

"It's alright, Commander:  we've been expecting for this to happen for years," Harry paused.  "I guess that in a way we lost hope, too.  You have both been through a lot together."

"I'll say," Chakotay smiled.  "You think that the crew will really accept us being a couple?"

"Yah:  I do."

"Thanks Harry."

"Any time, Commander:  any time."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn wearily set her tray down on the table, and sat down behind it.  It had been a long day, and it was nice to be able to sit down and rest.  It seemed like she had spoken to every member of her crew since breakfast.  She was exhausted, and more than one body part was complaining.

"Is this seat taken?"  Kathryn looked up:

"Of course, not, Chakotay," she answered.  "Who else would I be saving it for?" she was about to take her first bite when Tom appeared:

"Captain...  Commander..." he hurried up, out of breath:

"Slow down, Tom," Kathryn stated calmly, yet with a touch of concern:  "What's wrong?"

"B'Elanna shut herself in the bathroom in your room and won't talk to me."

"What did you say to her?" Kathryn asked as they stood and started weaving through the tables to get outside.

"I just told her that I loved her, no matter what she chose."

"That's all?"

"That's when she ran away."

Kathryn walked as fast as she could, which didn't seem to be as fast as usual.  She was finding it difficult to walk with her usual large stride, and was beginning to have to adjust her pace to accommodate the weight she had gained and the unsteadiness it had given her.

Finally, they stopped in front of the small building:

"I think that you two should wait out here," Kathryn said softly.

"Captain..." Tom stopped her.  His eyes seemed to plead for help:  "Good luck."

Kathryn nodded, then stepped inside the cool building.  She approached the bathroom:

"B'Elanna?"  She stepped up to the closed door, listening for a reply:

"Go away," B'Elanna answered.  Janeway tried the doorknob:  it turned, but she couldn't open the door;  B'Elanna was probably leaning against it.  "I don't want to talk to you."

"Fine:  I'll talk," Kathryn answered.  She swallowed:  "I don't know why you don't want this baby, but I do know that Tom wants it..."  B'Elanna let out a half-laugh, but there wasn't any humor behind it:

"Tom doesn't know what he wants.  Why would Tom want to have a baby with me?  I'm just giving him the easy out.  I don't really care..."

"Yes you do," Kathryn answered.  "Why else would you be hiding from it?"

"I'm not hiding," she retorted:  "I just don't want to talk about it anymore."

"B'Elanna," she paused:  "I know that you can feel your baby move inside you.  At least try to love that little one..."

"I do love her... or him."

"Then why...?"

"I don't want Tom to leave me the way my father did."

"B'Elanna..."

"This baby is going to look like me."

"And Tom will think that it is the most beautiful, precious baby that he has ever seen," Kathryn answered.  "Tom will never leave you..."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do.  Tom doesn't care what other people think about the way you look, or the way your child will look.  Tom will make a wonderful father, and he's not going to make the same mistakes that your father or his father made."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because he loves you.  He loves you so much, B'Elanna, and he loves your baby, too.  Won't you let him take care of you and your child?"  B'Elanna opened the door and came out, tears running down her cheeks.  Kathryn hugged her tightly.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"I'm going to lose her, aren't I?" Tom paced.

"You aren't going to lose anyone," Chakotay answered.

"She's never going to speak to me again," he continued, undeterred by Chakotay's statement:  "I'll never get to hold my baby..."

"Tom."  Paris turned to find B'Elanna standing in the doorway of the shack:

"B'Elanna," he breathed in relief.  They met each other halfway:  "I love you, B'Elanna, please forgive me..."

"No," she answered.

"B'Elanna..."

"No, Tom:  I'm not going to forgive you... because I'm the one who needs to be forgiven."  B'Elanna stepped closer to Tom and he took her hands in his own:  "I'm so sorry..."  That was when their lips met and they launched into a frenzied embrace, half apologizing, half kissing.

Chakotay suppressed a smile, and then looked to Kathryn.  She was smiling back.  She tilted her head, as if to silently say:  "let's go" and began walking back toward the mess hall.  After venturing one more glance over his shoulder, Chakotay jogged to catch up, then fell into step beside Kathryn.  Tom and B'Elanna had a lot of talking to do.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Now that was good," Chakotay smiled as he set his fork down.

"We certainly had to wait long enough for it," Kathryn retorted.  "I didn't think that the crew was ever going to let us eat in peace."

"Its been quite a day," Chakotay agreed as they took their trays to the recycler.  He suddenly realized that Kathryn's face was screwed up, as if in pain.  "Kathryn?"

She suddenly realized that he was watching her and looked away:

"I'm fine."

"You aren't fine," he turned her to face him:  "You're in pain."  She tried to assume her captain's stance and a stern expression, but then doubled over, grabbing his arm for support.

"I'm taking you to see the doctor..."

"No, no:  I'm fine, Chakotay, really."

"No you aren't, and it doesn't matter what you say, we're going."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn watched Doctor Talitha closed her alien tricorder and turned away, writing something on a pad.

"The tests will take about ten minutes to process.  You can stay here until then," she turned to Janeway:  "Don't go anywhere."

"I'll make sure that she doesn't, Doctor," Chakotay answered as Talitha left.  Kathryn turned away, but she could feel Chakotay's eyes on her.  She lifted a hand to her mouth, trying desperately to hold back the tears.  "I don't guess that you'd care to explain why you're acting like this," Chakotay commented.

"I'm pregnant, isn't that enough?"

"No, it isn't.  I know you, Kathryn.  Tell me the truth:  you owe me that."

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of losing this baby."

"But there's more to it than that, Kathryn.  What aren't you telling me?"  Kathryn didn't answer for a long time, and she knew that he had given up on ever receiving an answer, turning to pace again.  Finally, she sat up and turned to face him:  he was standing by the room's only window, staring out into the night.

"This isn't my first baby."  Chakotay looked to her, surprised.

"You've had a child before?" he asked, approaching the biobed.  "When?"

"It began almost twenty years ago," she answered.  "I was engaged to a starfleet officer:  a good man named Justin Tighe.  He and my father died in a shuttle accident before I even knew..."

"I'm sorry."

"No, Chakotay:  I've dealt with their deaths.  Finding out that I was carrying Justin's baby gave me a reason to live.  It was the most incredible experience I've ever had, knowing that I was carrying a new life, and it was the best six months that I've ever lived.  The entire pregnancy went perfectly, there was no warning," she swallowed, pausing, unable to continue.  A tear began to run down her cheek.

"What happened?" Chakotay asked softly.

"She was so perfect...." Kathryn whispered, crying softly.  "They took her from me a few minutes after she was born.  I never saw her again... complications..."  She broke off, unable to continue.  Chakotay took her into his arms as she sobbed.

He comforted her as she cried.  After the tears had stopped, she pulled away slightly, laying her head on his chest:

"I never forgave myself, Chakotay," she finally stated.  "I should have been there for her, I should have done something..."

"There was nothing that you could have done, Kathryn, you know that."  She pulled away, angry:

"But there should have been!  She was my baby and I let her die:  and now your baby..."

"Our baby is not going to die, Kathryn."

"How can you say that?  How can you know for certain?"

"I know Kathryn," he answered.  "I know."

The doors opened and Talitha stepped into the room:

"Your child is going to be fine."

"What is it?  What's happening to me?" Kathryn asked.

"It's gas,"  Talitha answered as she approached the distraught couple.

"But the contractions..."

"Are perfectly normal for a woman who is at your stage in a pregnancy," she answered.  "They're a bit stronger than I'd like, but you are in no danger of miscarrying.  It's probably stress:  I'd recommend that you stay in bed for the rest of the evening and take it easy tomorrow.  I trust you can take care of that?" she turned to Chakotay.

"But I'll be working..."

"Not tomorrow," she replied.  "You will all be allowed a day of rest tomorrow:  camp policy."

"I don't know what to say..." Kathryn started.

"Just promise me that you'll take it easy for the next couple of days, alright?  Isn't there anything that I can do to make sure you aren't rushing across camp every ten minutes?"

"Well, I'll try, but being the captain..."

"Why my superiors chose you for the first test subject, I'll never know.  Surely there must be something that I can give you to keep you busy."

"Well, there is one project that I've been wanting to start..."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Nice yarn," Chakotay commented as they left the small hospital.  "What are you going to make?"

"I'm going to knit a baby blanket," Kathryn smiled.

"I couldn't help but wonder why you chose blue..."

"He knows your voice," Kathryn interrupted, leading the way back to the shack she shared with B'Elanna and Seven.

"Who does?" Chakotay asked.

"Our baby," she answered.  Chakotay shook his head, smiling:

"Kathryn, why do you keep calling him a he?"

"Why do you?"

"Quit changing the subject."

"Come here," she took Chakotay's hand, placing it on her stomach:  "Feel him?"

"There you go again..." Chakotay answered with a smile.  Kathryn only laughed.  "He likes your laugh."

"He does?"

"Your voice, too," he confirmed.  He paused:  "I'd say that he's going to be a little gymnast."  Kathryn laughed harder.  "What?" he asked, stopping.

"You called him a he again."

"Kathryn..." he stopped when she reached up, lightly tracing the outline of his tattoo.  She caressed his cheek, her thumb stopping on his lips.  He kissed it, then moved closer to her, taking her in his arms and kissing her full on the lips.

"I love you, Kathryn Janeway."

"I'm going to give you a beautiful boy, Chakotay."

They both smiled in the moonlight.

 


	7. Day 7

 

Kathryn stirred in her sleep, resisting the knowledge that she was going to have to wake up soon.  She finally resigned herself to the fact and gingerly rolled over to face away from the wall, allowing her blanket to settle around her shoulders, baring her face to the outside world.  Light was streaming in the windows.

"Good morning, Captain," a pair of legs stepped in front of Kathryn's face.  She looked up.  B'Elanna, radiant in her newfound motherhood, and Seven, holding a tray:  "Ready for breakfast in bed?" B'Elanna asked.  Kathryn sat up, still sluggish:

"What time is it?"  B'Elanna adjusted the pillow behind her back.  Kathryn placed her hand on her abdomen, which--once again--seemed to have grown overwhelming large overnight.  In reality, the baby hadn't grown much during her sleep, but she still wasn't used to her size which (in her eyes) seemed to be growing exponentially.  She felt even more awkward than she had the previous morning.

"It is 1000 hours," Seven placed the tray on her lap:  or what was left of it.

"What?" Kathryn sat up straighter, surprised.

"Seven and I decided to let you sleep in," B'Elanna smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"But why?"

"We have observed the difficulty you have experienced trying to sleep at night, Captain," Seven informed her.

"We know how hard this has been for you," B'Elanna agreed.  "And Chakotay told us about the Doctor's orders..."  Kathryn nodded her understanding:

"Still, you didn't have to..."

"Yes, we did."

"It is our way to say thank you, Captain," Seven supplied.

"For what?"

"For everything you've done."

"What I've done?" Kathryn replied lamely.

"You've held this crew together," B'Elanna answered.  "You believed in me, in Seven, in each and every member of your crew:  even when no one else would."

"You have given us hope," Seven concluded.  Kathryn swallowed:

"I've only done what any other captain would," she replied, tears threatening to overflow.

"You've performed above and beyond the call of duty," B'Elanna answered.  "Thank you."  Kathryn didn't know what to say:

"Thank you," she finally managed to state softly.  B'Elanna smiled, then frowned, pointing to Janeway's tray:

"You haven't seen anything yet," she observed.  "Eat."

Kathryn nodded and picked up her fork.

"Whatever you say, sir," she teased, offering a mock salute.  "It looks delicious."

"Then you shall have no difficulty carrying out Lieutenant Torres' orders," Seven observed dryly.  Kathryn smiled.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Hello!" Chakotay called.  "Is anyone home?"

"No:  I left hours ago!" Kathryn's voice came from the next room.  Chakotay smiled, crossed the room, and stepped through the open door into the bathroom.  His mouth dropped open:

"I'm sorry," he turned to leave.

"No, Chakotay," Kathryn called out:  "It's alright.  Come in."  Chakotay turned around hesitantly, once again taking in the sight of Kathryn sitting in the tub.  She held out a hand to him.

He took in the sight slowly:  savoring her beauty.  Kathryn's hair was loosely pinned up so it wouldn't get wet.  She was fully emersed, bubbles covering what the water did not.  Her round stomach peeked out of the warm bath, reminding him of the new life that she held within:  a life that they shared.

Chakotay squeezed Kathryn's hand, then sat down beside the tub.

"I hear that you're going to kidnap me this afternoon," she began.  Chakotay nodded:

"I thought that we could go for a picnic," he confirmed.  "But of course if you rather be alone..."

"Chakotay," she cut him off:  "I'd love to go on a picnic with you."

That was when he placed her hand on her tummy.  He barely noticed that she had stopped talking:  he was too overwhelmed with the movements Kathryn held within.  The baby seemed to squirm at his touch, then jab back in retaliation to the invasion of his privacy.  That was when Chakotay realized what he was doing:  he pulled his hand away, embarrassed:

"I'm sorry," he stood:  "I didn't mean to..."  Chakotay turned and left the bathroom.

"Chakotay," Kathryn called after him.  He could hear the water slosh as she climbed out of the tub, and could feel her behind him, even before she laid a hand on his shoulder:  "It's alright, Chakotay."

"No, it isn't," he replied forcefully.  He turned back to find her wrapped in a towel:  "You aren't my wife, and I have no right..."

"But I want to share this with you, Chakotay," she took his hand and placed it over the life she held within:  "You are the father of my child, and I want to share this with you."  He pulled away:

"I'm not your husband, Kathryn."

"Chakotay..."  Chakotay placed his hands on her arms:

"I don't want to hurt you," he paused:  "there's too much at stake."

"I trust you, Chakotay," she answered.  "I know that you would never intentionally do anything to hurt me."

"I love you, Kathryn."

"I know, Chakotay:  that's part of why I want to share this with you so much."  He didn't reply, suddenly realizing that she was standing before him, sopping wet, wrapped in only a towel:

"I'm sorry," he looked away.  She lifted a hand to his cheek, turning him to face her:

"What?"

"I made you get out of your bath.  I'm supposed to be making sure you relax, and instead I'm disturbing you."  Kathryn shook her head:

"It's alright, Chakotay."

"Your water's getting cold," he commented.  "You should go back."  Kathryn smiled:

"You don't have to tell me twice."  She turned and padded back to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway:  "See you soon?"

Chakotay watched her leave the room:

"Wouldn't miss it," he said softly.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Good morning, Captain."  Kathryn looked up from her knitting, and was surprised to see Icheb, Naomi, Mezoti, Azan, and Rebi, standing before her.  The eldest of the group had spoken, and the rest were all standing around him solemnly, save Naomi who smiled as she sat down at the foot of Janeway's bed.

"Who let all of you in?" Kathryn asked.

"We were with Neelix..." Rebi began.

"...but he is now speaking with the Commander," Azan finished.

"We know that we aren't supposed to be here," Naomi stated, "but I wanted to see you."

"Well, what a nice surprise," Kathryn smiled.  "Won't you all sit down."  The twins sat down on Seven's bed, but Mezoti and Icheb remained standing:

"Thank you, Captain, but I prefer to stand," Icheb answered.  Mezoti stepped closer to the Captain:

"Are you feeling all right, Captain?"

"I'm fine, Mezoti, why?"

"You look strange."

"Mezoti."  She looked up at Icheb, who frowned at her, shaking his head.

"It's all right, Icheb," Janeway answered.  She turned back to the girl:  "Why do you say that, Mezoti?"

"Because your stomach has grown," she answered simply.  "I have seen several of the female crewmembers who look the same way:  they are acting strangely."

"No they aren't," Naomi said.

"Yes:  they are," Mezoti retorted calmly.  Kathryn smiled:

"I'm sure that some of them are," she admitted, "but there's nothing wrong with me."

"Then why is your stomach so large?"

"Because, she's pregnant, that's why!" Naomi answered.

"Pregnant," Azan stated.  Rebi continued:

"Having a child or other offspring developing in the body."

"Abounding."

"Fertile..."  Kathryn laughed, and the twins stopped spouting the definition:

"Well, those things are all true, but I'm not sure what offspring I could be carrying if it weren't a child."

"I still don't understand," Mezoti interrupted.  "What do any of those things have to do with you having a child?"

"My baby is growing inside me."

"You have a maturation chamber inside of you?" Rebi asked.  Kathryn smiled:

"Not exactly."

"Only the borg use maturation chambers," Icheb answered.

"The Captain's baby is growing inside her, just like I grew inside my mother's tummy," Naomi explained.

"Will the baby look like our sister?" Azan asked.

"In a way, yes."

"Commander Chakotay is the father of your baby?" Mezoti interrupted.  Kathryn paused, but nodded:

"Yes, he is."

"So you have copulated."

"No, my baby was conceived by artificial insemination."

"But the other couples copulated...?" Mezoti was cut off by a new addition to the room.

"Captain?" Chakotay stepped into the room, a confused look on his face.  "What's happening in here?"

"It seems that someone let these vagabonds escape," Janeway smiled.  "We've been having a very interesting conversation."

"There you all are!" Neelix suddenly bustled in:  "Come on, it's time to go!  I'm so sorry, Captain!"

"That's quite all right, Neelix," Kathryn smiled:  "We had fun."  Mezoti stopped and turned to face the Captain again:

"Captain, what happened to our sister?"

"She's been adopted by Joe Carey and Susan Nicoletti."

"Adopted?"

"They're her parents now."

"Like you and the Commander will be the parents of your baby?"

"In a way, yes."

"May I see her again?"

"I see no reason why you couldn't."  Mezoti nodded, seemingly satisfied with this reply:

"Thank you."

"Good bye, Mezoti:  I'd love to see all of you again."

"Good bye."  Neelix led the girl out of the room:

"Bye!" said Naomi.  Azan and Rebi stood and simultaneously lifted their right hands, then turned to go.  Icheb left silently, hands behind his back in a decidedly Seven-esque fashion.  Kathryn laughed.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Knit knit purl knit..."

Chakotay watched Kathryn, who softly repeated the stitches to herself under her breath.  She sat indian style, two long needles in hand and a ball of light blue yarn in her lap.

"How's it coming?" Chakotay asked as he closed the lid of the newly repacked picnic basket.  Chakotay admit it:  he had outdone himself.  The meal had been delicious.  He was stuffed.

"I'm almost half done," she was finishing the row: "Really?  You work fast."  She looked up, a sly smile on her face.  Chakotay looked away, his cheeks turning red.

"I couldn't sleep last night," she explained:  "the baby was too active."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she smiled.  Chakotay could have argued that point, but he let it slide.

"Can I see?" he asked.  She let him hold the soft rectangle that formed the beginnings of a blanket.  "What's the pattern?  Snowflakes?"

"Honeycomb, Chakotay," Kathryn moved closer to him, sitting down to lean against him, taking the knitting from him and beginning again.

"I think that it looks like snowflakes," he stated again.  "Snowflakes that are all the same, instead of as unique as each one that falls."  Kathryn kissed him on the cheek:

"Whatever you say, honey."  Chakotay laughed.  Kathryn took the blanket from him and resumed her work.  He looked away, watching the creek that flowed nearby.

"I talked to Neelix this morning," he began.

"Oh?" her needles didn't stop clicking as she replied.

"Several crewmembers have approached him..." he hesitated.

"About?" Kathryn asked.

"Quite a few want to be married."  Her needles clicked on.  That was all there was:  knitting, running water, the breeze rustling in the tree's leaves, and no reply:  "Kathryn?"

"I'm not surprised, Chakotay," she answered softly.

"Captain?" he asked, confused.  She finished the row and set the blanket aside:

"A third of my crew are about to become parents.  We can't continue to live the way we have for the past six years.  We'll need to provide childcare.  Eventually we will need to think about schooling, and training if as young adults our children want to become starfleet officers.

"It's only logical that these same couples would want to get married and start a family, perhaps even having more children in the future..."  Chakotay's thoughts lingered on Kathryn's last words:   _more children in the future._   "Chakotay?  Chakotay?"  He suddenly realized that Kathryn was still talking to him:

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"  More children.

"I said that we would have to rise to the challenge."

"Oh," he tried not to blush.  "I suppose that today is a good time to start."

"Today?" she asked.

"Yes.  A large ceremony in the mess hall would suffice, don't you think?  Of course, they don't have to be married today if they don't want to, but we could give them that option..." he drifted off.

"Of course, today seems to be as good a day as any."  He stood and helped her to her feet:  "No time like the present," she remarked.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn didn't know how much longer she could take it.  She had been on her feet for hours, and her back was killing her.  Though she knew that it was true that her baby grew during the day, this was the first time that she had actually been able to tell that she was larger tonight than she had been that morning.  She suddenly realized that despite her self-consciousness a couple of days ago, she had been small at first compared to many of the pregnant women who were now leaving the mess hall.

Kathryn sat down heavily.  Fifteen weddings:  Tom and B'Elanna had been the first, but eventually she had married thirty people in all.  After the ceremonies they had eaten dinner, which had been peppered with many toasts and congratulations.

Everything was finally wrapping up for the night.  She wondered what time it was.  She had lost all track of time, and it was late.

"Good night, Captain," Harry smiled as he passed her.

"Good night, Harry."  She watched him go, then turned to stretch her legs out across the bench.  She propped her head up on her hand, elbow resting on the table.

"I'm sorry."  She jumped, and turned to find Chakotay sitting down across the aisle from her.  He had startled her:  "I was supposed to be making sure that you were relaxing, not suggesting that you stand for hours."

"It's alright, Chakotay," she replied.  "It was something that needed to be done:  I just wish that my back wasn't complaining so loudly.  Or my feet."  She grimaced as she wiggled her swollen toes.

"Let me help you with that," he sat down at her feet and took off one of her shoes.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that..." that's when he started to massage.  "Oh, ahhhh..."  She let out a sigh of relief, leaning back, one of her hands propping her up on the seat behind her.  "That feels better."

"I'm a little out of practice..."

"No it's perfect, oh, right there!  Oh, that feels good."

"It's just a foot, Kathryn:  you're embarrassing me."

"That foot has been an integral part of the development of your child."

"And how is that?" Chakotay asked as he set down her right foot and moved to her left.

"It just happens to be part of the support structure for this maturation chamber.  Oh, Chakotay, you're too good to me."

"Maturation chamber?" he asked, beginning to apply more pressure.

"Yes, well, this morning I was asked if I have a maturation chamber inside of me."

"I see, so now you think that you're just a machine?"

"One that is in need of maintenance," Kathryn replied.  "Hey, where are you going?  Get back over there!"  Chakotay had stood and was now standing beside her:

"Turn so you're facing away from me," he softly ordered.  She complied, and was instantly relieved to find that his hands helped her back even more than they had her feet.  She laid her forearms on the table and leaned forward, giving him better access to her aching muscles.

"Oh, that feels so much better."

"You're so tense."

"Tense, no:  tired, yes."

"What have you been doing?"

"How about carrying forty extra pounds in front of me?"  She sat up as he began to massage her neck and shoulders:

"You haven't gained that much weight...  Have you?" he asked.

"Chakotay, look at me:  I am a very large almost eight months pregnant.  At least he's settled down a little.  But watch, as soon as I try to go to bed, he's going to be wiggling all over the place.  I don't know how I sleep at all."

Chakotay sat down beside her and kissed her on the neck:

"Thank you," he stated softly.  Her expression softened:

"For what?"

"For doing this for our child.  For doing this for me."

"Chakotay..."  He kissed her before she could say anything else.

It started as something short and sweet, but Kathryn deepened the kiss, longing for more.  She tried to move closer to him, but the table was getting in the way.  She left his embrace for long enough to turn around so that she was facing outward and move close enough to be practically sitting in his lap.  They met each other halfway this time.

Just like last time, the whole world faded away for Kathryn.  All that there was in the universe was Chakotay.  His hands on her body.  The kisses he peppered on her neck.  His scent.  The desire that encompassed her, desire that she didn't know she had or had ever known that it was possible for her to feel.

They tried to stand together without breaking the contact their lips had.  She had no idea what would come next:  she wasn't thinking, she was just acting.  And as he pulled her into his arms, she suddenly realized that  _something_  was in between them, keeping their bodies from meshing together the way she wanted them to be able to. Then their unborn child moved, protesting the suddenly closer quarters, and suddenly she came crashing back down to the surface of the planet they were standing on.  Kathryn pulled away:

"No:  stop."  Confusion filled his eyes as she backed out of his arms:

"Kathryn?"

"I'm sorry, Chakotay," she whispered.  "I'm so sorry."

"Did I do something wrong?" he stepped closer, but she held up a hand to stop him:

"No," she shook her head:  "no, you're doing everything perfectly:  but I'm not ready, Chakotay. This is all happening so fast.  I need to wait..."

"Wait?"

"For us... to be together."  Chakotay suddenly realized what she meant:

"Kathryn I wasn't..." he paused.  "I'm sorry, too.  I didn't mean to..."

"I know, Chakotay:  it isn't you," she paused:  "It's me:  if you don't stop now, I'm not going to be able to later."  She turned away:  "I just don't want to make any mistakes, Chakotay."

"Marry me."  She stopped:

"What did you say?"

"I love you, Kathryn."  She turned back to face him:

"Chakotay..."

"Marry me, Kathryn, please."  The silence hung between them as the impact of his words soaked in.  They just stood there, staring at each other.  And then she began to shake her head:

"I can't."  He stepped closer to her:

"Why?"

"Because, I can't, Chakotay.  I just can't marry you, I can't do that to you."

"Kathryn, I love you:  I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and you just can't?!?"

"I'm sorry, Chakotay:  please don't be angry.  Maybe we should just..."  Chakotay turned and began to walk away, but Kathryn hurried to follow him.  "Chakotay, wait!"

He didn't answer, he just walked outside and began walking away from her.  He probably would have kept going, ignoring her petitions, had the barefoot captain not stumbled trying to follow him.

Hearing her cry out as she fell to her knees, little stones cutting into the palms of her hands as she fell forward, he stopped and turned to see what caused her distress.  She picked herself up off the ground, than sat down, rolling up into the closest approximation of a fetal position that her body would allow.  "Chakotay."  She whispered his name, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

His heart skipped a beat as he ran back to her, setting a hand on her shoulder:

"Are you hurt?"

"No," she shook her head:  "No, but I'm afraid that I have hurt the person who is the most dear to me and that he will never forgive me."

"Kathryn..."

"I'm sorry, Chakotay:  you have no idea how sorry I am."  He took her into his arms and she began to sob.

He rocked her in his arms as she cried, wondering why.  All his anger melted away as she drifted off to sleep, and he realized that he loved her anyway.  It looked like he was going to have to continue accepting this relationship on her terms for now.

 


	8. Day 8

 

The morning breakfast bell woke Kathryn, but she resisted the thought of waking so early.  She turned over to face the wall, pulling her blanket over her head.  That was when she heard shuffling footsteps and a door closing.  In the next room, someone turned on the water.  Her eyes opened and she sighed:  so much for trying to get any more sleep.  She sat up and slid her feet out from under the covers.

She had expected cold floor to great her toes, but instead she found a pile of blankets.  B’Elanna’s bed had been stripped, someone having had taken the pillow and blanket.  Tom and B’Elanna had slept elsewhere the night before, so she was more than a little curious as to who had slept on the floor (and why when a bed was available).  It wasn’t long before her question was answered.

"Commander Chakotay chose to sleep on the floor."  Kathryn turned to find Seven standing in the doorway to the bathroom, hands behind her back.

"I fell asleep at the mess hall.”

"Correct."  Kathryn rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up:

"How is he?" she asked.

"I did not speak to him:  why?"

"We had an argument."

"It was not the first," Seven's tone suggested that she was angry.

“No,” Kathryn replied, “But it might be the last.”

“Explain,” Seven returned abruptly.

“I’m not sure I can, Seven,” she answered softly.  “There’s so many people’s happiness at stake besides our own.”  She paused:  “I’m just not sure that our love is strong enough.”

“Perhaps you should discuss the situation with the Commander,” Seven suggested:  “Explain your reasons for hesitancy.”  Kathryn shook her head:

“I’m not sure that I can.”  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
“You do not wish to sit with the Commander?” Seven asked, as they passed Chakotay.  Kathryn glanced over her shoulder:  the mess hall was full, as usual, but he had somehow managed to keep a whole table to himself.  She looked away before he could notice that she was watching him:

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” she stated simply, without pausing.  Seven followed her as she continued across the room.  She saw a table on the opposite side of the room with a couple of extra seats...

“You care for the Commander deeply,” Seven noted.  “You must resolve the situation.”  Kathryn’s patience was starting to wear thin.

“Seven, I don’t think that this is any or your business.”  She set her tray down and seated herself as soon as they reached her destination.  The crewmembers at the other end of the table took one look at her, then gathered their trays and left.  Seven, on the other hand, wasn’t deterred:

"I disagree," Seven stated.  "Your relationship with Commander Chakotay effects the entire crew, and neither we or your child will benefit from the leadership of two disconnected individuals." Seven paused:  "Refusal to reconcile is inefficient:  a captain and first officer must learn how to solve their disagreements peacefully."

"Which is exactly why I had decided to keep our relationship strictly professional," Kathryn replied.

"Ignoring your feelings for the Commander will not resolve the issue," Seven returned.

"I disagree," Janeway stated firmly.  She paused:  "I'm sorry that I allowed to let it get this far."

Seven slammed down her tray, then grabbed Kathryn’s.  “Seven...” her Captain’s voice did not phase the ex-Borg drone in the slightest.  The younger woman was already walking across the room purposefully and attracting a lot of attention:  most of the crew was staring.

Kathryn sighed, pushed herself to her feet, and hurried to catch up with the younger woman, which would have been easy enough had she not been pregnant; Seven was a good three inches taller, but she had never had trouble keeping up with her before.

Seven stopped in front of Commander Chakotay and placed the tray across the table from him.  It was at this moment that Kathryn finally caught up with her:  “What do you think you’re doing?!?” she tried to keep her voice lowered, fully aware that every eye in the room was now on her.

“Sit,” Seven pointed.

“I do not take orders from you...”  Seven grabbed her by the arms and moved her toward the seat, forcing her to sit down:  “Comply,” she said firmly.

“Seven...” Chakotay started to stand up, but found Tuvok’s hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stay seated:

“I suggest that you cease any attempts at opposition, Commander,” the Vulcan stated.

“Tuvok?” Kathryn turned to face him, trying to appeal to her friend, but he raised a finger, indicating that she wasn’t to speak:

“Resistance is futile,” he replied before she could object further.  Seven raised an eyebrow in approval, then moved to the head of the table, where both of her superior officers could see her:

“Neither of you will leave this table until you have ‘kissed and made up’.”

“This isn’t going to work, Seven,” Kathryn stated.

“Really?” she asked, her voice still defiant.

“The Commander and I simply have too many differences...”

“I disagree, Captain.  On the contrary, your differences only serve to compliment one another.  Lieutenants Paris and Torres have had many arguments in their tumultuous relationship, and I have wondered on more than one occasion if they would be successful in moving past their differences.  My observations, however, have revealed that their love does not subside because of such disagreements, rather, it grows stronger.

“I believe that in the past you and Commander Chakotay have displayed that you have a similar relationship, and I find it unacceptable that you have abandoned all that you have worked toward together over the past six years.  None of the individuals involved will benefit from your separation,” Seven paused.  “This situation must be resolved or we will never be successful in leaving this planet.”

Kathryn realized that her mouth was hanging open and forced the muscles in her jaw to close it.  Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged a look of helplessness.  Seven put her hands behind her back:  “Begin now,” she ordered.

Kathryn glanced at the people at the next table who were blatantly staring, then looked to her plate, embarrassed.  Seven looked to the crew:  “Resume your consumption of the provided nutritional supplements.”  Suddenly, everyone was looking the other way, resuming their forgotten conversations with new vigor, though it was almost certain that they had found a new topic to discuss.  Seven nodded to  _Voyager’s_  command team:  “Enjoy your meal.”  She turned to retrieve her own tray, but paused before she left:  “I will be nearby.”  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
He would have thought that they would have gotten used to the uneasy silences that had become more and more common between them, but they hadn’t.  Chakotay still didn’t know how to break the ice in such situations with Kathryn.  Finally, he decided to just dive in:

“Did you sleep well?” he asked softly.  She shook her head soberly, placing her hand on her round tummy and rubbing the life she held within:

“He won’t let me.”

“Oh,” he replied lamely.

"I heard that you slept on the floor," she ventured.  He nodded, his eyes not meeting hers.  "Why?"

"Why not?" he shrugged.

"You didn't have to."

"Yes:  I did," he answered more harshly than he had intended.  His anger melted when he lifted his gaze, saw the pain in her eyes for the first time:  "I didn't want to leave you," he told her softly.  "I'm worried about you, Kathryn."

"Chakotay..." she reached out to take his hand.  The bell started ringing before she could continue.  Chakotay glanced at his half-finished meal, then back to Kathryn:

“Can we talk later?”

“I’d like that,” she answered softly.  He nodded his goodbye, and turned to leave, only to find himself face to face with Seven.

“Do I have permission to leave, sir?” he asked soberly, half serious.  Seven lifted an eyebrow:

“You have yet to kiss the Captain.”  Chakotay almost smiled at this, and circled the table to stand next to Kathryn.  She lifted her eyes to meet his, and he leaned down:  first to kiss her quickly on the lips, then to give her a hug.  He turned back to Seven, who nodded her approval:  “Dismissed.”  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
“How are we this morning?” Talitha smiled a greeting.  Kathryn wondered how this doctor could always be so cheerful considering her line of work and the fact that she had to deal with twenty-five hormonal women.  The wait for injections was getting longer each day, no fact a testimony to the fact that some of these women were complaining of more discomforts each day as their pregnancies progressed.  Kathryn smiled to Talitha as she sat down:

“We’re doing fine, thank you,” she replied.  Talitha took her hand, and she heard the familiar hiss of a hypospray moments later.

“I’m giving you a slightly larger injection today, Kathryn,” Talitha laid the hypospray down and picked up a scanner.

“Is anything wrong?” there wasn’t any worry in her voice.  She had found this pregnancy remarkably easy, particularly considering how fast it was going.  Personally, Kathryn didn’t know what the fuss her fellow mothers-to-be were making was about.  She was farther along than any of them, and she couldn’t remember having ever felt better in her life.  She tired more easily, but that was mostly because she hadn’t gotten much sleep.  Her child was very active, and didn’t seem to like for her to lie down.  It was a mixed blessing:  she loved feeling him move within her, and she wouldn’t give up one moment of this experience.

“No, I just want to be sure that your baby’s lungs are fully developed before you go into labor.  I don’t think that will be a problem.”  She closed the scanner:  “Your baby has already turned, and is developing according to schedule.  Unless there are any unexpected difficulties, you won’t have to see me until your child is born.”  Kathryn noticed the knowing look in Talitha’s eyes.  “You’re finished,” she noted.  “Next!”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Kathryn eased off the biobed and moved toward the exit.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay entered the mess hall, relieved that it was time for lunch.  He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and was exhausted, despite the fact that the day was only halfway through.  It was nice to be out of the sun.

More than that, he found that he was eager to see Kathryn.  He didn’t like being out of her good graces, and was hoping that they could find some way to compromise.  The fact that his son (or--he was forced to admit--daughter) would be born within days only made it seem more urgent:  that and the impending attempt to escape.

Chakotay got his food, then pushed through the aisles, his eyes searching for Kathryn and a place to sit down.

"Chakotay! Over here!" Tom waved.  Chakotay nodded his acknowledgement and started to push through the crowd.  That's when he saw Kathryn.  She was standing between Seven and B'Elanna, smiling.  As he approached her realized that Neelix was standing behind Tom and was holding something:

"The workmanship is exquisite, Captain!" the Talaxian raved.  He clutched the baby blanket:  she had finished it.

"I don't know if I'd go that far, Neelix."  That was his Kathryn:  always modest.  She smiled at him, but the moment was over all too soon:

"Look at this, Chakotay, isn't it cute?" B'Elanna held out a baby sweater.  He set down his tray, then took the small piece of clothing.  He recognized the same pale blue yarn that she had used on her first project.  He marveled at how tiny and how delicate the soft garment was in his rough hands, hardened by the work he had been doing in the fields.

Suddenly he realized that his hands were still dusty from his work.  He felt ashamed by the realization that he had soiled the very thing that Kathryn had worked so hard on.  He gave the sweater to Kathryn:

“I'm sorry,” he apologized.  “I got it dirty.”

"It's alright, Chakotay," she answered.  “It will wash out.”  No one spoke for a long moment, until Tom finally cleared his throat:

“Well,” he stated:  “I’d better be getting myself some food if I want to eat something before dinner.”  He pushed past Chakotay.

“I’ll go with you,” B’Elanna followed her husband.  Neelix handed Kathryn her blanket:

“I should go see what the children are getting into,” he excused himself, the paused:  “Keep up the good work, Captain.”  He left quickly, which left Kathryn, Seven, and himself.  Seven turned to them both:

“Enjoy your meal,” she pronounced.  He watched her go, the turned to face Kathryn, uncertain what to do or say.  He wondered if they would stand there forever if he didn’t say something soon.

It was Kathryn who made the first move.  She approached him, silent, and then hugged him tightly.  Then she let go and moved to sit down.  Realizing that it must be hard for her to sit at one of these benches, he offered her a hand for support, but she didn’t take it.  He wasn’t offended by it:  it was totally like Kathryn to want to be as independent as possible, even now.

"How are you doing?" he sat down beside her.

“We’re fine,” she assured him.  They sat in silence for a few moments.

“About last night...” he began.

“Please don’t, Chakotay,” she implored him.  He turned to look at her:

“I love you, Kathryn,” he confessed.  “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  She turned to face him, tears in her eyes:

“Yes, but for how long?”  He rose to his feet in anger, fully intending to leave.  Kathryn grabbed his arm, clung to him, trying to pull him back to her side:  “Please don’t go,” she begged.  “Please don’t...”  He sat down stiffly, and Kathryn let go of him.  She lowered her head, trying to stop the tears that were starting to run down her cheeks.  His anger melted when he saw her them:  he couldn't stay angry with her.

“Kathryn, I...” he didn’t know what to say.  He put his arm around her, and she melted into his embrace:

“Promise that you’ll never leave me,” her voice was barely above a whisper.  “I need you...  I need you so very much...”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kathryn.”

“But what if...”  He pulled back slightly so that he could look into her eyes:

“We can’t dwell on the ‘what ifs,’ Kathryn,” he told her softly yet firmly.  “Our child needs to have a father and a mother, and I will not let you down, I will not leave you.”

“You don’t know that,” she shook her head.  “You could die on an away mission, in a battle,” she paused:  “I might have to send you...”

“You’re right,” he cut her off.  “We don’t know:  either of us could die tomorrow.  But wouldn’t you rather have as much time with me as possible than to never take a chance and discover that we’d be happy together?  You’d rather live apart, let me die alone, and leave you wondering what could have been?”

The bell started to ring.  It occurred to him that each meal seemed to be growing shorter and shorter.  He wished that he and Kathryn had more time to discuss this, but he didn’t know what else he could say to convince her.  Chakotay stood, hesitated:  “I should go,” he finally managed.  He threw his napkin onto his plate, turning to leave.

“Chakotay...” her voice made him stop.  He turned, and she was immedietely in his arms.  Her head was on his shoulder, her arms locked around him so tight that the wind was knocked out of him.  He gently pulled his arms around her, returning her hug.

“I love you, Kathryn,” he stated firmly:  “Nothing will ever change that.”  She pulled back slowly, hesitantly:

“I could never love you enough,” she shook her head.  He lifted a hand to caress her cheek:

“Let me be the judge of that,” he returned.  He kissed her quickly:  “Please, just think about what I’ve said.”  She nodded her agreement.  “I’ll see you tonight.”  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
She watched him go, then sat down, picking at her food:  she didn’t feel like eating anymore.  Chakotay’s words echoed in her mind; he had said them with such passion.  They had made perfect sense, had almost convinced her.  She loved him so much, and the last thing that she wanted was to hurt him.  And as much as she hated to admit it, she was tired of being alone, tired of carrying the weight of  _Voyager’s_  problems without him:  she needed him to be her anchor when her ship and crew were battered by the storm.

She knew what she wanted... had wanted for years now.  She had never allowed herself to hope before, perhaps had been too afraid to.  Only a week ago her dreams of marrying, having children, raising a family, had seemed so far away.  But carrying Chakotay’s child had changed everything:  things would never be the way that they once were.   _Voyager's_  crew would be forced to change, especially her.  Captaining a ship of Starfleet officers and Maquis who had chosen a dangerous life in space was vastly different than commanding one with children aboard to nurture and protect.

She considered what Tuvok had said about the crew accepting her relationship with Chakotay.  She wondered how they would feel seeing her and Chakotay as husband and wife.  She wondered how Chakotay would feel were she to turn him down again, if he would still be able to serve as her first officer were she to crush him that way.  If he were to leave because she said no, could she still function without him?  The nature of their relationship had changed so much over the past few days.

In the back of her mind she knew that whatever decision she made, there would be no turning back.  She had to know that the decision she made was the right one, that she would have no regrets.  When she thought of it that way, it wasn’t a hard choice to make:  her heart was certain, it was her Starfleet-issue Captain’s persona that was getting in the way.  If she didn’t follow her heart, she would never be able to live with herself.  All she could do now is hope that she had made the right choice after all.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay wiped the sweat off his brow and leaned over again, pulling another weed out of the earth.  That was all he had done all day:  pull the weed, put it in the sack, pull, sack.  It was tedious and exhausting.  His thoughts dwelt on Kathryn.

A part of him could understand her fears.  She had lost her father and a fiance who were Starfleet officers.  Her second fiance had married another after  _Voyager_  had been thrown into the Delta Quadrant.  She didn’t seem to have good luck when it came to men.  But, then again, all of that had happened before she had ever met him.  All he wanted was to spend the rest of his life loving her, protecting her, helping her in any way that he could...  He wanted to be her no-longer-angry warrior forever.

Tom and Harry were performing the same work as him only meters away.  The two friends’ familiar banter was one of the only comforts in his task.  That and the fact that tomorrow would be the last day they would be working on this planet at all.  He longed for the comfort of his own bed almost as much as he longed to be in Kathryn’s embrace every night.

Chakotay was suddenly pulled from his reverie.  Somehow, his hand found its way into his pocket instead of the sack that was slung over his shoulder.  He stopped, pausing to retrieve the weed, but found something else in his pocket as well.  Chakotay pulled out a little blue bootie, knit in the same pattern as the sweater Kathryn had made.  He wondered how Kathryn had found the time to slip that into his pocket, or if it had just been an accident.

He was about to tuck the bootie away again when something caught his eye:  a piece of paper was tucked inside.  He pulled it out, unfolded the small square.  There, written in a simple, neat cursive with careful loops and controlled arcs was written one word...  " _shmily_ "

He wondered what it meant.  He had never heard of such a word before.  He recognized it as Kathryn’s handwriting, though he had only seen her penmanship once or twice before.  What had possessed her to put the note there?  Had she meant for him to see it?

His attention was pulled away from the note when he heard a noise overhead.  He looked up, shielding his eyes, and a shadow fell across his face.  It was a shuttle:  one of the ones that had brought the crew to the camp.  He wondered where it was being taken, but it was immedietely put out of his mind when the bell started to ring.

He folded the note back in the bootie and pocketed them, standing.  He brushed his knees off, eager to see Kathryn, but hesitant:  he still didn’t know what her decision would be.  But he was glad that it was time for dinner.  It had been a long day, and he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before.  He was looking forward to being back in a bed tonight.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
“Kathryn,” he sat down across the table from her, picking up his own fork.

“Scoot over, watch out, pregnant woman coming through!” B’Elanna pushed through several crewmen and unceremoniously set two trays down on the table.  She plopped down next to Kathryn:  “Captain, Chakotay...  Oh, could I have some of that?”  Chakotay’s eyebrows rose:

“Help yourself,” he pushed his plate towards her, and she quickly scooped most of the casserole in question onto her own plate.

“Thanks,” she dug in.  “Tom got the last helping.”  Kathryn wiped her mouth:

“Mm, B’Elanna, don’t eat that,” she pointed to a red vegetable.

“Why, is it bad?”

“Trust me, you’ll feel better if you don’t.”

“Oh, thanks.  What about that one?”

“Oh, that one’s great.”

“You ladies alright?” Chakotay asked.  Both of them looked to him:

“Fine, why?” Kathryn asked.  She shot him a weird look, then turned back to B’Elanna, who was already moving on.

“Did you see the dessert?” she asked, incredulous.

“Oh, what I wouldn’t give for some coffee ice cream.”

“Tell me about it,” B’Elanna replied.  “If I have to eat another bowl of their Jello I’m going to be sick.  I would kill for chocolate.  Any weird cravings?”

“Chicken Chow Mein:  that and the Caramel Brownies my mother used to always make.”

“Oh, you’re lucky.  Last night I couldn’t stop thinking about a plate of gagh:  normally, I hate the stuff…”

“…but last night you suddenly couldn’t stop thinking devoring some?”

"Yes!"

“What do those three foods have to do with each other?” Chakotay suddenly asked.

“Nothing,” Kathryn answered.  “We’re pregnant, Chakotay:  our cravings don’t have to make any sense.”  B’Elanna snorted, then turned just as Tom and Harry were arriving moments later.  Tom was holding a tray with about a dozen glasses of water.

“Oh, Tom,” B’Elanna kissed him as he sat down:  “You didn’t have to.”

“Believe me, I did.”  B’Elanna’s insatiable thirst hadn’t waned over the past couple of days.  Tom had spent many trips to the drink dispenser during their stay.

“Is this because I called you a pig?” she asked.

“You might say that,” he noted.  “Looks like you found someone who was willing to make a donation.”

“Yes, well, I think that Chakotay is getting queasy.”

“Good evening!” Neelix greeted.  Moments later, the entire senior staff had descended upon the table.  Harry looked a mite miserable at the other end of the bench that Kathryn and B’Elanna were sitting on, having been force to sit a bit close to the edge.  B’Elanna had kept nudging Tom until there had been plenty of elbowroom for her and Kathryn with more to spare.  Chakotay was glad that he had sat down across from Kathryn.

As soon as everyone had finished eating, Kathryn and B’Elanna passed out the aforementioned Jello.  Kathryn then asked Seven to report first on her findings.

“I have translated most of the tricorder’s data,” Seven began.  “According to my data, we can effectively destroy the camp’s forcefield network by causing a power overload in several key systems.  After that we will be able to leave the compound with little difficulty.”

" _Voyager_  is in orbit of this planet’s largest moon,” Paris continued where Seven had left off.  “It shouldn’t be too hard to get us there after we leave the surface.”

“What’s her status?” Kathryn asked.

“All weapons systems appear to be fully functional,” Tuvok noted.  “A minor adjustment to the ship’s shield modulation should be sufficient in repelling any further abductions of the crew.”  He paused:  “I will be able to make the adjustments in under two minutes:  however, their weapons will still be of significant enough effect that we will sustain some minor damage if we are attacked.”

“Propulsion?”

“Everything appears to be fully in tact,” B’Elanna answered.  “There’s no hull damage and the inertial dampeners, impulse engines, and thruster generators are all functioning within normal perameters.  The only key system that appears to be offline is the warp drive.”

“What about the holosystems?” Chakotay asked.  Kathryn turned at his question, and his eyes met hers for a moment.

“The holographic systems appear to have been taken disabled,” Harry answered solemnly.  “All of the holo-emitters and programs are offline, including the Doctor.  Unfortunately, there’s no way that we can know how long it will take to bring those systems back online until we get to  _Voyager_.  I’d say that we’re looking at at least five hours of work, maybe more.”  The silence was almost tangible, but Kathryn recovered her voice within record time:

“B’Elanna, how long will it take to fix the warp core?” she asked smoothly, pulling her staff out of their reverie.

“Half an hour at most,” she replied.  “Shorter if I have a team to help me...”

"Excuse me, Captain..."  Chakotay was suddenly aware of the young woman that was standing at the end of the table.  She was a Starfleet member of  _Voyager's_  crew, and he didn't recall her name.

"What is it, Celes?" Kathryn asked gently.  Celes:  that was the name of the young woman who had gone on Kathryn's "lost sheep" mission aboard the  _Delta Flyer_.

"I’m sorry to interrupt, but the shuttles…" the young woman swallowed nervously:  "they're all leaving."

"What did she say?" Neelix asked.

"All but one of the shuttles have left the camp."

“I was afraid of that,” Harry stated:  “when we saw that one this afternoon...”

“There’s nothing we can do about it now, Ensign,” Kathryn stated quietly.  Tom, however, didn’t deal with it as gracefully:

"With only one shuttle there's no way that the entire crew is going to be able to get off the surface," he lamented.

"An interesting observation, Ensign," Tuvok remarked.  "That is most likely the very reason that the shuttles have been removed."

"The shuttles can't hold more than twenty people at once, Captain," Chakotay turned to her.  "Maybe twenty-five, but I doubt it."  His eyes met her own, wanting to lend her strength.  He knew that she was worried, didn’t want her to have to face this alone. "Then we're going to have to find another way off the planet,” Kathryn finally found her voice.  “Thank you, Celes:  you're dismissed."  The Bajoran nodded and turned to go.  Kathryn continued:  "Harry, are  _Voyager's_  transporters still operational?"

“Yes, ma’am:  they are.”

“Alright:  we’re having a slight change of plans,” she leaned forward:  “Neelix, while B’Elanna and Seven disable the shield, you will lead the crew out of camp and towards the mines.   _Voyager_  will come here and beam the crew aboard.  Inform the crew tonight and make sure that everyone is ready to go.”

“Understood, Captain,” Neelix nodded.

"We'll prepare for departure at 2200 hours.  B'Elanna, Seven:  you will need to be in position by 2130.  Take whatever personnel you need, but as few as you can get away with."

"Understood," B'Elanna answered.

"Yes, Captain," Seven replied.

"Tuvok and Chakotay will be able to provide cover for Tom and Harry as they prepare the shuttle for takeoff," she turned to the Lieutenant and Ensign:  "Once our team has disabled the guards, I want you to get inside and begin powering up the shuttles."  The two men nodded their acknowledgement:

"Okay."

"Yes, Ma’am."  Chakotay, on the other hand, was shocked:

"Our team?" he blurted out.  She couldn’t possibly think...  But she did.  He could see it in her eyes.

"Yes,” she stated firmly.  “I will be in your group."

"Captain, are you sure that is wise?" Seven asked.

"I sincerely doubt that the guards are going to shoot me, Seven," her voice left no room for argument.  “Your only concern is disabling the shield and making the rendezvous so that we can take off, understood?”

The younger woman solemnly nodded her understanding.  Kathryn stood, leaning over the table:  “I do not want unnecessary attention drawn to ourselves, so please discuss this with only the necessary personnel.  We only have one try at this.”  She paused, scanning each crewmember’s face, judging each reaction.  “I know that all of you can do this, we will get off this planet.”  Another pause:  “Dismissed.”

Chakotay didn’t stand as the rest of the crew left.  Kathryn watched them, totally at ease with the situation.  She seemed impervious to his concern.

“We need to talk,” she softly stated before he even had a chance to say a word.  She sat down beside him:  “about us.”

“You want to define perameters,” he supplied.

“Yes,” she answered.  “Hopefully once and for all.”  She paused:  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Chakotay, and I’ve made my decision.”

“And?”  There was a long pause.  Kathryn turned to face him:

“Yes,” her voice was soft and gentle.  Chakotay blinked, and turned to face her:

“What? he asked, stunned.  She laughed for just a moment, then stopped to answer him:

“Our answer is yes.”

“But I thought that you said that you wouldn’t...” he struggled to find words.  She looked down at her clasped hands, then back to him.  “After what you said, all I dared hope for was…” he drifted off.  “I was expecting a compromise.”  Her smile faded away:

“Chakotay, I thought you knew me better than that...” she laid a hand on his shoulder, as if to comfort him.  Her eyes followed that hand as it slid up his shoulder, around the back of his neck.  Her gaze fell upon his lips for a moment, and then her eyes lifted to meet his.  He was suddenly very aware of her presence and she leaned closer, her lips only centimeters from his, moments away from a kiss...  “I never compromise.”  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay burst into the room, startling Neelix:

“Where’s Tuvok?”  The shorter man pointed towards the bathroom door, and Chakotay was instantly dashing across the room:  “Tuvok!” he yelled, beating on the door.  “I need to talk to you!”  The door opened excruciatingly slowly.

“Yes, Commander?” Tuvok asked calmly.  Chakotay turned to Neelix:

“Could you give us a minute?” he asked.  Neelix’s eyebrows rose:

“Of course, Commander,” he mumbled.  Chakotay watched him leave, passing by a beaming Kathryn and a confused Tom and B’Elanna on the way out.

“What’s this about?” Tom asked.  Chakotay turned back to Tuvok, whose eyes were on Kathryn:

“I would be honored, Captain,” he noted.  Chakotay smiled:  he should have known that the Vulcan would understand.

“What?” B’Elanna asked.

“Perhaps we should move outside,” Tuvok suggested.  Chakotay and Kathryn exchanged a knowing look:  the tree.  Yes, that was the only place.

“Come on,” he grabbed Kathryn’s hand.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn took each Paris’ hand, showing each person where to stand.  Tom got a big grin on his face when Tuvok stepped in front of him and Chakotay, and B’Elanna got tears in her eyes.  She hugged Kathryn before allowing her to move back to Chakotay’s side.

Naomi pulled on her skirt, and Mezoti held up a freshly picked bunch of flowers.  That was when she noticed the crowd that was growing.  Neelix was beaming at the front.  Seven was just arriving, her hair falling in tendrils around her face, as if she had been performing an exerting task.  Chakotay took her hand, and Kathryn turned to face him again.

“Honored family,” Tuvok began.  “We are gathered here for the joining of Chakotay, son of Kolopeck, and Kathryn, daughter of Edward.”  Kathryn lifted her eyes, and they met Chakotay’s.  “They have proved themselves worthy of such a bonding, and join today, never to be separated again.”

She recognized the traditional Vulcan joining ceremony, and had to blink back tears.  Chakotay’s hands claimed her own, and Tuvok continued:  “Do you, Chakotay, take this woman as your aduna, to love and protect from this day forward,” she noticed his addition.  She loved Chakotay so much; her heart felt as if it were about to burst.  “...in hardship or abundance, until the day your katra departs?”

“This I vow,” Chakotay replied.

“Do you, Kathryn, take this man as your adun, to love and protect from this day forward, in hardship or abundance, until the day your katra departs?”

“I do,” she answered resolutely.

“Hearing this, and knowing your katras to be true, I bond Chakotay and Kathryn with the power vested in me by the Kolinahr Assembly and Starfleet Command and hereby pronounce you t'hy'la forever.  May you will be blessed with many children and a bond that no man can break.”  Tuvok paused:  “You may now kiss the bride.”  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay kissed her immedietely, tasting her tears mixed with his own.  He pulled away moments later, turning to face their family.  They were cheering.  There was a smile on every crewmember’s face:  well, almost every face.  Seven looked rather smug to him, but she smiled and nodded her approval when she realized that he was watching her.

He was smiling so big that he was sure that his face was going to crack:  he had never smiled so hard in his life.  Oddly enough, he felt embarrassed, like a boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar.  B’Elanna was sobbing behind Kathryn, a smile behind her hands, and Tom almost made him go deaf when he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled.

Chakotay turned back to Kathryn, still grinning.  He knew that he probably looked like a fool, but he didn't care.  He had never been so happy.  Kathryn giggled, which struck him as very un-captain-like.  Her hands slid back around him, and he leaned down to kiss her again.  This time, they met halfway.  The crew cheered louder.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn and Chakotay had been lifted off their feet and onto the shoulders of several crewmembers.  It was an old Maquis tradition:  carrying the newlyweds to their quarters, or shack as the case sometime was.  It didn’t take them long to get to the shack that she had shared with B’Elanna and Seven for a week.

They lowered Kathryn to the ground and she turned to give B’Elanna a hug, then Tom and Harry.  Seven was stiff as she hugged her, Neelix, flamboyant.  And then she reached Tuvok. She could feel the tears beginning to form in her eyes again.  She was surprised that there were any left, she had cried so much that day.  Chakotay offered a hand:

“Thank you, Tuvok.”  They shook:

“The honor is all mine, Commander.”  Chakotay stepped aside, and Kathryn stepped forward to hug her friend.

“Thank you,“ she whispered.  She pulled away:  “Good night, Tuvok.”

“Sleep well, Captain.”  Her half smile suddenly appeared, slowly growing into something more:

“Oh, I don’t plan on getting that much sleep tonight,” she noted coyly, her voice lowered.  She turned to face Chakotay, who was now speaking to Seven:  “At least not for a while.”  Tuvok lifted an eyebrow:

“I suggest that you conserve your strength, Captain.”  She laughed:

“I’ll consider your recommendation, Tuvok.”  Chakotay turned and moved to her side:

“Don’t worry, Tuvok,” he put in.  “I’ll keep her in line.”  He turned to face Kathryn: "Ready?" She kissed him, and he picked her up as if she didn’t weigh a pound more than the last time he had done so.  Chakotay carried her over the threshold, then closed the door behind them.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
He gently dropped her feet to the floor, and she kissed him again hungrily.  He leaned down to kiss her neck, and she pulled his shirt over his head, her lips meeting his again as soon as the piece of clothing had been removed.  Her hormones were out of control, and she couldn’t wait to get him undressed and into bed.  She pulled on her pants’ drawstring, and allowed them to fall to the floor, kicking out of them and her shoes.

“Kathryn...” she turned out the light and pulled him toward the large bed... rather, the two beds that Seven had pushed together.  Their lips never parted for more than an instant.  Chakotay pulled away:  “Kathryn…”

“What, Chakotay?” she asked, her hands moving around his waist.

“Tonight?” he managed to get out before her lips claimed his again.  She pulled away:

“Yes,” she whispered.  He grabbed her wrists before her hands could reach his fly.  Her eyes lifted to meet his:  “Chakotay?”

“Tonight?” he repeated.

“You don’t want to?”

“That’s not the issue.”

“I think it is.”  He didn’t answer; she pulled away from him, turned away.  “Is it my body?”

“What?”

“Do you find me unattractive?”

“No!” he turned her to face him.  “No,” he said softly:  “You’re beautiful, Kathryn,” he wiped away her tears.  “If anything, the changes in your body only make me want you more...”

“Then why, Chakotay?”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Kathryn.”

“Chakotay... the only thing that you could do to hurt me is refuse to make love to me, especially now.”

“Kathryn, with the baby...” he paused.  “I just thought that you would want to wait." Kathryn slid her hands around the back of his neck:

“Have I done anything to make you think that I would want to wait?” she asked.

“No,” he admitted.  “If anything, I’d say that you’ve had a hard time keeping your hands off me.”

“I’d say that’s an understatement,” she replied.  “I’ve been waiting six years for this, Chakotay, and I have no intention of waiting six more weeks.”

“So, you’re saying that you want me?”

“No,” she replied.  “I’m saying that I desperately need you.”  He lifted a hand to caress her cheek, and leaned down to kiss her. Not with the urgency that they had felt before, but with reverence.  This was going to be a night to remember.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
“...I love you, Kathryn.”  Chakotay brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her gently.  She let her head rest upon his shoulder, and he moved his hand to rest on the large, round hemisphere that her naked tummy had become.  Her skin looked milky white in the moonlight that was pouring in the window.  She felt incredibly safe in his arms.  She slid her leg down his own, wrapping it around his and pulling them even closer together.

A teardrop ran down her cheek, dropping onto his chest.  “Hey,” he lifted her chin so that he could see her face in the moonlight:  “What’s wrong?”

“I...” she was at a loss for words:  “I had forgotten...” she couldn’t finish it.

“It was incredible,” he said for her.  She nodded, slowly moving her hand across his chest, savoring the feeling it sent through her fingertips.

“It’s never been that strong for me before,” she whispered.  “The connection...”

“Made you feel like we were one?” he asked.

“Yes.”  She buried her head into his shoulder, memorizing the strength and contour of his muscles. “Don’t ever leave me,” she implored.

He pulled his arm around her tighter, and gently caressed her, slowly moving his hand up and down her upper arm, almost like he had on New Earth during the storm, yet differently.  This felt gentler:  it comforted and reassured her, as if he were saying the he would never leave her and would always protect her.  Somehow she knew that she would never have to be afraid again.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn was asleep in his arms, but his mind was racing a million lightyears a minute.  He couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said at the briefing, and the very thought of her being in harms way scared him to death, taunting him at the back of his mind.

He could feel the baby move within Kathryn, and she stirred in her sleep.  His right arm was asleep under her, but he could have cared less:  he didn’t want to let her leave his arms.  Maybe he was afraid that this wasn’t real, that if he let her go he would wake up and realize that it was all a dream.

“What’s wrong?” she asked groggily, rubbing his chest like she had earlier.

“What makes you think that something’s wrong?” he asked gently.

“I know you, Chakotay,” she answered matter of factly.  “I don’t even have to see or touch you to know when something’s bothering you anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“That I woke you up,” he answered.

“It’s too late now,” she eased away from him so she could roll further off her back and lie next to him:  “Besides, it wasn’t only you and you’re avoiding the question:  spill it.”  He hesitated:

“I’m worried about tomorrow night,” he admitted.  Her eyebrows rose:  “About your being so close to the fighting.”  She closed her eyes:

“I asked for it,” she admitted.  She opened them again, spoke with her Captain’s voice:  “I’m listening, Commander.”

“You have no business being in the line of fire,” he stated quietly, firmly.  “You know as well as I do that you should be with Neelix’s team.”

“And why is that?” she asked, drawing invisible circles on his chest.  He lifted a hand to stop hers (she was distracting him) and cover her hand with his own.:

“You’re in no condition…”  Her eyes were immedietely locked with his own, cutting him off.

“I am not an invalid, Chakotay,” she stated softly yet firmly.  “I may be carrying your son, but that does not change the fact that I have an obligation to my crew.”

She paused for only a nanosecond, plunging in again before he could even hope to get a word in: “I need to be on this mission, now more than ever.  You know as well as I do that I am going to be in danger no matter where I am, and I would rather be useful than wondering how things are going, wondering whether or not the teams made it.”

She paused:  “I can’t stop being the Captain just because I’m about to have a child:  if any of you were to be captured, I would want to be there so that I could plead for your lives, even if it meant giving my own...”

“Even the life of our child?” he asked.  She sat up, moving out of embrace.  He knew that her emotions were playing across her whole face:  even he wasn’t allowed to always see that yet.

“Yes,” she finally stated, softly yet forcefully:  “even his.  No matter how much that would pain me, I cannot  _not_  sacrifice his life at the expense of the rest of my family.”  He sat up, gently laying a hand on her shoulder:

“What if you’re captured?”  She turned to face him, her eyes meeting his:

“Then I want to know the two best friends I have in the universe are going to be there to rescue me,” she whispered.  “I know that there are dangers, Chakotay, but I don’t really care:  I’m going to go out there, and I’m going to fight, and no one is going to stop me.  Do you understand?”

They sat there for a few moments, Kathryn’s eyes searching his face, desperately longing for some reassurance, Chakotay contemplating her words.  He hadn’t realized that she would feel so strongly about this, he hadn’t realized until now how strongly  _he_  had felt about this.  This scared him to death, but he knew that she was right:

“Yes, Captain,” he replied.  “I understand.”  She threw her arms around him, and he held her for a long moment.  For the first time all night, she didn’t cry; she just pulled away and gave him a curt nod.  “Come to bed,” he implored, lying back down.  She complied, lying on her right side, her back to him.  He matched her position, spooning himself around her, holding her tightly yet cautiously, as if she would break were he to hold her too tightly.

She didn’t resist his closeness, but didn’t melt into him, either.  It wasn’t Kathryn that he was holding, but the Captain, and even though she didn’t accept his support entirely willingly, he hoped that she would someday allow him to help bear the load that the Captain had to carry.  All he could do now was take this at her own pace and try to help her as much as he could.

He knew that sleep would not come easily for her tonight.  He wondered how many sleepless nights they would spend together like this, and despite the fact that so much danger was ahead of them, knew that he was glad that he would be there with the woman he loved.  They had their entire lives to figure it out.

 


	9. Day 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've used some technical terms in regard to Janeway's pregnancy... Having never experienced pregnancy or childbirth i hope that i don't sound incredibly stupid to those of you who have. It's a little difficult to imagine what that would be like, if you know what i mean.

 

Kathryn sat up in the darkness, hand on her abdomen.  The contraction subsided after a few moments, but it had been strong enough to pull her out of her sleep.  She waited several more moments, wondering if she would feel her uterus tighten again.  She looked down at her large, round tummy:

"As much as I want to hold you in my arms, little one, it's not quite time for you to make an appearance yet," she whispered, rubbing her belly.  She turned to look at where Chakotay had laid next to her the night before, reaching her hand out to touch the emptiness on the other side of the bed:  "Chakotay," she called out.

"Kathryn?" he came out of the bathroom and was immedietely kneeling beside her on the bed.  "What's wrong?" he asked, his tattoo rippled with worry.

"Nothing," she gave him a small smiled:  "Only the fact that I woke up without you beside me."  He leaned down to kiss her, his hand taking her extended one in his own.  She lay down again, and smiled at him in the darkness:

"What time is it?" she asked, her free hand rubbing her midsection again.

"A little before sunrise," he placed his hand over hers.  They could both feel their child squirm within her.  "I was planning on going running, then coming back to bed before you missed me."  He rose to sit down beside her:  "I'll stay..."

"No," she lifted a hand to stop him:  "Go ahead, we'll be alright."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Go," she commanded.  He nodded, smiling, then leaned down, face centimeters from her stomach:

"You don't give her any problems, you hear me?" he kissed her tummy:  "be good."  He moved up her body until his face was next to hers:  "And you," he kissed her:  "try to get some sleep."  He stood up:  "I'll be back."

She pulled his pillow to her chest as he walked back into the bathroom, hugging its softness, breathing in his scent.  She could hear him rummaging around in the bathroom, opening and closing the cabinet.  She hadn't heard these noises from another room before; it reminded her of the quiet sounds that her father would make in the early hours of the day when she had been a child.

When he lived planetside he had gotten up before dawn each day to get ready for work.  She could still hear the sound of the spoon scraping the bowl, the whisper of paper as he turned the pages of his real newspaper, never acquiescing to reading the padd versions.  She silenced her thoughts to listen to Chakotay's activities once again.  Knowing that he was here made her feel safe, just as hearing her father's routine had.

Chakotay turned on the water, and she could hear him brushing his teeth.  She would have to get up soon, she suddenly realized, if only for alleviation of the pressure on her bladder that she was starting to become acutely aware of.  The water turned off, and she could hear his footsteps cross the room toward the door.  He didn't say anything as he left:  he probably thought she was already asleep again.

She closed her eyes, trying to find that sleep, but she found her mind wandering.  Chakotay had made her so happy, and they hadn't even been married twenty-four hours yet.  She smiled as she remembered their lovemaking the night before:  that wasn't an experience she had been fortunate enough to have during her first pregnancy.  She felt closer to Chakotay now than she had ever thought possible.

But then her thoughts turned to their discussion, also of the night before.  She knew that as first officer he had every right to question her decision, but she needed his support, particularly now.  She didn't like to be in any situation where she had lost his support, but this morning she felt particularly vulnerable, even more than she had the night before.  There were so many risks, so many variables to consider.  It was more than her life at stake:  their child could be harmed just as easily as she could, and that alone gave Chakotay every right to object.

This would be only the first of many difficult decisions that she would have to make now that she and Chakotay were married.  He had needs that she would have to make sure that she didn't neglect, but she also had to live with the knowledge that she might have to one day order him to his death.

There would also be times when she had to decide between her child's welfare or the crew's... and what if she and Chakotay decided to have more children in the future?  She loved her baby so much, and she hadn't even met him, but there were also a hundred and forty-seven other lives to think about.  She would have to find a way to create a balance between the two if she was going to ensure that one--or even both--didn't suffer.

There were so many ways that this complicated things, but she forced these thoughts out of her mind for the time being.  She shouldn't be worrying about something that was beyond her control; it wouldn't help her or the baby.  It occurred to her that if she didn't provide for the crew's needs in this situation that it wouldn't help her child much.  This time it seemed that what was best for her crew was also what was best for her child:  getting back to  _Voyager_.  Still, she wished that Chakotay could agree with her.

By the time she had sorted through all of this, she couldn't ignore her body's need for relief anymore.  She padded into the bathroom and eased her discomfort, then got back in bed, this time leaving her eyes open.  Oddly enough, she was eager for the day to start:  in fact, she could hardly keep still.  Even though it was still early, she was wide awake and felt great, except for one thing:  her back. She hadn't even realized that it had been bothering her, but now her thoughts were centered on the dull ache she felt there, and no matter what position she tried--however limited her options were at this point--she couldn't seem to get comfortable.  She could ask Chakotay for a massage when he got back, but that would be a while.  She would have to find some other way to cope until then.

Lying on her other side definitely didn't help, nor did lying on her back (in fact, that made it worse).  She definitely couldn't try lying on her stomach.  She sat up, rubbing her back with one hand, but the ache just wouldn't go away.  She sighed.  There was no way that she would be able to sleep now:  she was wide awake, and there was no hope of quieting her mind.  She was full of energy, and her entire body itched to be doing something:  anything.

She slipped on her shoes, grateful that their captors hadn't made her wear boots.  At this point she couldn't reach down to pull on her shoes, and she knew that her feet probably wouldn't have fit into her boots if she still had them.  In fact, she wondered if her Starfleet issue footwear would ever feel comfortable again.  Normally it was the type of shoe that her feet felt the most comfortable in, but that had been then.

She stood, and discovered with relief that this alleviated the discomfort in her back.  She turned to face the window:  the first hints of the sun were just beginning to tinge the sky, and a cool breeze blew, beckoning her to come out and enjoy the beauty of this place one last time.  She went back to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and freshened herself up before slipping out into the morning.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay stepped out into the darkness and took a deep breath of cold, fresh air.  He rolled his neck, then his shoulders, and stretched to the right, left, and down to his toes before he jogged off into the darkness.

He hadn't ran like this since his Academy days...  The cold air nipping at his nose.  The sun's first rays stretching out across the sky, slowly changing it from ebony to cobalt to bright pastels before it slowly rose into view above the horizon.  If he hurried he could make it to their tree before the sun began to peek out from behind the mountain... to the tree where he and Kathryn had shared lunch together, had been united as husband and wife.

He picked up the pace, breaking into a run, and sprinted the rest of the way to the tree.  His chest was heaving by the time he reached it, and he allowed himself to collapse onto the grass, enjoying the cool carpet that grew beneath its wide branches.  He propped himself up on one elbow, noting that he was just on time for the view.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon as she stepped outside.  She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, suddenly acutely aware of how cold it was.  She broke into a brisk walk--which seemed excruciatingly slow despite the fact that it wasn't much slower than she normally walked--hoping that the exercise would help her warm up.  Thankfully, her backache now faded to a twinge that could be pushed out of her mind easily enough.

Her thoughts still dwelt on Chakotay.  She knew that he was her greatest source of strength, and she didn't like for them to not agree on something as important as this.  She paused, trying to catch her breath.  The baby was still high, and it made it hard for her to breathe.  She would need to rest before she walked too much farther, a feeling which disturbed her.  She was in excellent shape for her age, and normally a brisk walk did not wind her in the slightest.

She noticed a familiar silhouette nearby:  Tuvok kneeled in meditation.  She considered going to speak with him:  she needed his reassurance and advice, now more than ever.  She tried to approach him as quietly as possible:

"Tuvok," she spoke his name softly.

"Yes, Captain," he raised his head and opened his eyes, aware of her presence before she had even said a word.

"I need your counsel, old friend."  Tuvok nodded his understanding:

"Please, make yourself comfortable."  She kneeled beside him heavily, mentally revising that to 'as comfortable as possible' and turned her full attention to her friend:

"I'm sorry that I've disturbed you."

"Your interruption is invited, Captain," he replied.  "I know this has been a difficult time for you."  She nodded her agreement:

"Chakotay confronted me last night about my decision to join your team."

"You are questioning your decision."  It was a statement, not a question.

"A little," she admitted.  "I'm not sure who's right anymore."  Tuvok nodded solemnly:

"The Commander's concerns are well founded," he replied.  "However, his judgement is also clouded by his feelings for you...  He feels an intense concern for your well-being, and recent events have only served to enhance his apprehensions."

"You think that he's being illogical," she supplied.  Tuvok raised an eyebrow:

"On the contrary, Captain:  I see impeccable logic in his actions," he amended.  "However, your logic is equally persuasive.  I regret that I cannot offer you guidance concerning which decision to make:  the choice must be yours."

She nodded as he continued:  "I would, however submit how you have often conveyed your ease of mind and level of success when you follow 'your gut instinct,' as you put it.  Perhaps you should do so now."

"Thank you, Tuvok:  you've given me a lot to think about."  He stood to help her to her feet, then knelt again.

"I will offer up a prayer for you today, Captain."

"Thank you," she whispered again.  She left in silence.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay sat indian-style, his breathing almost back to normal now.  The view was absolutely beautiful:  the only thing that could have made it better would have been a better location:  Arizona, for instance.

"Mind if I join you?"  Chakotay jumped, startled by Kathryn's voice.  "I'm sorry," she smiled, brushed a stray hair out of her face.  She looked so radiant:  alive.  "I didn't mean to startle you."

"That's alright," he replied as she sat down beside him.  "You decided to get up?"

"I couldn't fall back asleep," she shifted position, wincing a bit.

"Are you alright?" he asked, instantly worried.  Her expression changed immedietely:

"I'm fine," she answered.   "Just a slight backache."  She smiled:  "I guess I'm just not used to sleeping with someone else," she teased.  He watched her for a moment, fully aware that she was in more discomfort than she was letting on, and then turned back to watch the sunrise:

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" she asked.

"I'm the reason that you weren't comfortable."

"Chakotay..." she laid a hand on his arm:  "I slept wonderfully," she reassured him, "better than I have in a long time.  I'm just very pregnant:  I feel great, considering."

He dropped the subject, and they sat in silence as the sun slowly rose above the horizon.  Chakotay reached over and took Kathryn's hand in his own.  "I'm sorry that I overreacted last night," she said softly, breaking the silence.

"No, I'm the one that's sorry, Kathryn," he replied:  "You were right."

"You aren't angry?" she asked softly.  He looked back to her, surprised:

"No, Kathryn, did you think that?" he asked.  "I may not like your decision, but I do agree with it."  Kathryn reached out to him and he moved to hug her.

"Thank you, Chakotay," she whispered.  "You have no idea how much that means to me."  He kissed her, and then let go, meshing his fingers with hers.  They turned to watch the rest of the sunrise together.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Chakotay, can you come here?" Kathryn called.  She set her hairbrush aside, smiling in the mirror at her husband as he entered the small room.  He moved to stand behind her, kissing her on the neck:

"You called, Captain?" he asked.

"I think that I'm going to need some help," she turned to look at the bathtub, remembering how she had been forced to accept his help when she had tried to get up off the ground on her own when they finished watching the sunrise.  "I don't think that I can get into that bathtub alone."

"Hmm..." he pulled away, turning to pull back the shower curtain:  "Well, I could always build a crane..."

"Chakotay!"  He turned, worried that he had hurt her feelings:  she could see the relief in his eyes when he realized that she was laughing.  She moved to stand next to him:  "I guess that I am huge," she admitted.

"No, you aren't," he said seriously.  "You aren't fat, Kathryn."  She smiled:

"I'm not?"

"No," he replied.  "You're beautiful."  She looked up, surprised:

"No, I'm not," she denied, completely serious.  She had known since she had been a child that she would never be beautiful.  Her sister, with her curly dark hair, was beautiful.  Seven, with her perfect body and shiny blonde locks, was beautiful.  Even B'Elanna, with her distinctive forehead and cheekbones, her full lips...  But her?  Never.

Chakotay lifted her chin, his eyes searching hers:

"Yes, you are, Kathryn.  You're absolutely the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen.  I'm a very lucky man."

"Chakotay, I'm not..."

"Not what?  Tall?  Super blonde?  Hourglass shaped?  That's not what makes someone beautiful."

"Chakotay..."

"Don't," he stated firmly.  "You are beautiful," he repeated.  "You have this aura of calm and compassion...  You walk is as if you're gliding on air..."  She laughed at that image now:  all she could manage right now was a waddle:

"What else?" she asked.  He took her hands in his:

"Your soft hands... they lend strength to whoever needs it," he lifted his eyes to meet hers.  "Your incredible eyes are the clearest blue.  Your hair..."

"Is a mess," she lifted a hand to comb through it.

"No:  no, it's not.  It's you."

"You have no idea how hard it is to keep it from standing straight up," she noted.  "It's stick straight, it's thick, sometimes I think that it must have a life of its own."

"That's exactly what I mean," he replied.  "Only you know how to control that energy, to shape it into something incredible.  You contain it all with ease."  She was stunned by the passion in his words:

"Why are you saying all this?"

"Kathryn, just because you are unique doesn't mean that you're ugly.  I don't want you to ever tell me that you aren't beautiful:  you are, very much so."  She looked down, wishing that she could see her feet.

"Short, scarred, me?"

"Yes," he stated soberly.  He caressed her cheek, his thumb brushing against the scar on her lower lip, the one she had had since childhood:  "especially short, scarred, you."  Her eyes met his, then closed as he leaned down to kiss her.  He wrapped his arms around her, and she laid her head against his shoulder.  Her back spasmed.  "Kathryn," his hands had been on her back, he could feel the tension there...

"I'm alright," she answered.

"No, you're not..."  She pulled away:

"It's gone now."

"Your back is in knots, why didn't you tell me that it was this bad?"

"Are you offering to help?" she asked.

"Anything to help my lovely wife," he answered.

"Hmm," she pulled back the shower curtain:  "A hot shower and massage would be nice."  He smiled:  "We have to hurry if we're going to make it to breakfast," she continued.  "And why not kill two birds with one stone?" she paused, suddenly shy:  "Join me?"

"Alright," he agreed.  He stepped back, pulling off his shirt, then noticed she was still watching him.  He tried to do his best impersonation of her Captain's glare, hands on his hips:  it didn't work very well.  She tried not to laugh:  "Turn around, Kathryn."  She complied, but not without laughing:

"What?  The powerful Maquis Captain is embarrassed?"

"And don't look in the mirror, either."  She heard some rustling behind her, and started undressing herself.  She managed to slip out of her shoes, her pants, but was having trouble with the dress.  It was amazing to her how much she had filled out what had been a tent only days before.

Chakotay's arms slid around her, and he pulled the dress over her head with one motion.  Before she could turn to look at him, he had picked her up and lifted her into the tub.  He climbed in behind her, closing the curtain.  She turned on the water, adjusting the temperature, then turned on the spray, turning her back to it before it could spray her in the face.

She was face to face with Chakotay, and couldn't move out of the way before the cold blast hit her back.  He smiled at her, and she leaned against him as the heat returned to the water.  He reached around her, rubbed her back.

She leaned her head back for a moment to get her hair wet, then picked up the shampoo.  Chakotay grabbed the bottle:

"Let me," he requested.  She turned around, his hands making sure she didn't slip and fall.  He poured some of the shampoo into his hand, then started to massage her scalp.  She inhaled appreciatively:  she couldn't remember her scalp ever feeling so stimulated yet relaxed.  He moved on to her neck, rubbing the stiffness away.  He had to pull farther away to retrieve the body wash, to begin to massage her back.  His hands worked wonders with her muscles, and she could feel the pain in her back almost disappear.  She leaned farther under the water, giving him more access and allowing the warm liquid to pour down her, rinsing her clean.

He had been humming, and now he started to sing:  something about having words to make a beautiful day for her.  She had never heard the song before--had never heard him sing before--and turned around so she could watch him.  Chakotay smiled shyly, continued soaping her tummy.  He knelt down to sing to the baby, repeating the words.

"Why haven't you ever sang for talent night?" she asked him.

"What?" he asked, pausing in the middle of his amazing rendition.  She smiled, lifted his chin, causing his eyes to meet hers:

"You do have a wonderful voice," she acknowledged.  "You should perform sometime."

"I don't think so," he replied, standing.  He shivered, and she realized that he must be cold.

"I'm sorry."  His eyes met her again:

"Don't be," he smiled.  "I'm helping you, remember?  Not your fault that I'm not getting any hot water."  She slugged his arm:

"Switch," she told him.

"I don't think so," he replied.  "I just got your back relaxed, and I'm not about to let you get cold and tense again."

"It's my turn," she told him firmly.  "That's an order, Commander."  He sighed, but gave her a half smile:

"Alright, but just for a little while."  He hopped out of the back of the tub.  She turned as he climbed in on the other side, slipping in between her and the water.  She backed up to give him room, and could immedietely feel a draft:

"Chakotay, why didn't you say anything?" she asked him.  "You must have been freezing."

"I didn't want to ruin your shower," he replied.  "No use in both of us being miserable."  She shook her head:

"Misery loves company," she told him.  She grabbed the sponge and started soaping him up, admiring his strong, smooth chest.  She didn't feel embarrassed about staring at it as she had the morning they had found themselves alone in a cell together.  Now she allowed herself to appreciate it, ignoring the way she was starting to shiver.  Chakotay gently grabbed her wrist:

"You should get out," he looked concerned.  He lifted his other hand to touch the goosebumps on her shoulder.

"I don't want to leave you," she told him softly.  He took the sponge from her, setting it aside.  He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.  She stepped closer to him, allowing their bodies to touch, rubbing his chest.  "You're beautiful, too," she told him.  He shook his head, but she stopped him before he could object:  "Yes," she assured him.  She paused:  "I'm the lucky one."  She shivered again, and he kissed her.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay had finally convinced her to get out, and had remained to wash his hair.  He climbed out of the tub, toweling himself dry, smiling at the clean clothes that Kathryn had laid out for him.  He noticed that the mirror had fogged up… it had been smudged, though.  He wrapped his towel around his waist, staring at it.  It looked like Kathryn had written a word, but it couldn't be, could it?  He crossed the room to read it, smiled at it:  "shmily."

Now he knew that she had meant for him to have that bootie.  Question was, what did it mean?  He had never heard of such a word before in his life.  The closest word that he could think of was smiley, and that made just about as much sense.  He knew that Kathryn wasn't always the best speller, but he didn't think that she'd make a mistake spelling a word as simple as that.

He knelt by the dirty clothes they had dropped into a pile together, pulling the bootie out the pocket of the pants he had worn the day before.  It wouldn't do to lose this:  he pulled on his clean pants and slipped it into his new pocket.  He turned at the sound of a knock on the door:

"Chakotay, are you going to be in there all day?  I'm hungry."  Kathryn:  he went to open the door:

"I'll be right out," he told her, shirt in hand.  She smiled, kissed him:

"I missed you already."  She went back into the other room, not mentioning the mirror.  He followed her, and the bootie was immedietely put out of his thoughts:

"Kathryn, what did you do?!?"  She sat on a bed, glancing at the other two:  all of them had been returned to their original positions.

"I made the beds," she told him.

"But you shouldn't be moving heavy furniture," he knelt beside her.  "Are you alright?"

"I didn't move the beds," she told him.  "Chakotay, I may want to be independent, but I'm not stupid.  I would never do anything to hurt the baby," he looked to her in confusion, and she smiled:  "Tom and Harry moved them:  B'Elanna sent her husband to see if we'd want breakfast in bed."  He leaned back on his heels, relieved.  She reached out a hand to touch his cheek, and he took it into his hand, holding onto it tightly:

"Don't ever do that to me again."  He sat down beside her, smiling as she lay down, pulling him down with her.  She tried to kiss him, but he pulled away, noticing the bed again:  "Kathryn!"

"What?" she forced herself into a sitting position.

"What did you do to this bed?"  The blankets had been tucked in tight enough to bounce a strip of gold pressed latinum off of.  Kathryn laughed.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
He hadn't noticed her waddle at first:  might not have at all had it not been the fact that for the first time since they had met he had to slow down for her to keep up.  Despite the fact that he was a good fifteen centimeters taller than her, they had always walked in perfect sync with one another.

It was hard to slow down for her:  he stopped, offering her a hand.  She shook her head, but took it, meshing her fingers with his.  He smiled:  she wouldn't accept his help, but she would hold his hand.  He wasn't sure whether to feel rebuffed or encouraged by this turn of events.  It was, however, enough to remind him to walk at her pace.

He felt a bit self-conscious, walking hand in hand with the Captain in front of the rest of the crew.  They all passed with smiles on their faces, most of them greeting them with a "Captain, Commander," or a "Congratulations."  He realized that most were in a good mood:  and why shouldn't they be?  Everyone was full of hope that the evening's escape would be successful.  He just hoped that they wouldn't be disappointed.

They were still holding hands when they arrived at the mess hall.  He turned to watch Kathryn as they fell into the back of the chow line and was once again captivated by her beauty.   She dropped her hand, and rubbed her back, pushing her tray along with her free hand.  She moved the same hand to rest over the child she carried within.  She was very obviously with child, but that only drew her to him more.  All he could think about was how attracted he was to her and how much he loved her.

She turned to look at him, and he blushed  She had caught him staring.  She waddled on, and he tried not to laugh:

"What?" she asked.

"Has anyone ever told you that you were cute?" he asked.

"Not if they wanted to live through the day," she turned away, placing her hand on her back again.  His hand joined hers as they moved on, and he found that her muscles were just as tight as the had been an hour ago:

"Kathryn?" he asked.

"It's fine, Chakotay," she insisted.  He knew that she wasn't being entirely truthful, but didn't push her:  he dropped the subject.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Neither of you have any right to be so cheerful," B'Elanna growled as  _Voyager's_  captain and first officer sat down.

"It's not my fault that I actually got some rest," Kathryn noted.

"No, but it is your fault that you're almost ready to pop and I'm going to have to wait another month."

"B'Elanna, I don't think that the Captain is capable of controlling genetics," Tom observed.

"Shut up," she answered.  "Or I'll start blaming you.  After all, this really is  _your_  fault."

"My fault?  What did I do?" Tom tried to console her.  Torres shot him her best death glare, which didn't compare to Kathryn's in the slightest.  On Tom, however, it worked great:

"I'm never letting you touch me again."  Tom scooted away, startled.  Chakotay smiled.  Kathryn tried to put a sympathetic expression on her face, but wasn't very successful:

"Cheer up, B'Elanna:  we'll be leaving soon," she cajoled.  That smile was creeping up again.

"That's what I'm complaining about," the half-Human half-Klingon woman replied.  "It's just not fair."

"Think of it this way, B'Elanna," Chakotay interrupted:  "You're only going to be pregnant for about another month.  You get to have a baby in forty days instead of forty weeks."  Torres sighed:

"I hate you, Chakotay, I really do.  I'm in a perfectly rotten mood and then you try to infect me with your cheerful disposition."  Chakotay could tell without looking that Kathryn was trying not to laugh.

"I didn't know that I was carrying a disease," he rebutted.  Kathryn burst out laughing, and Chakotay shot her a smile.  B'Elanna was steaming mad.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked as he sat down.  Chakotay pulled on his ear, trying to look innocent.  Kathryn cracked up again.  "Captain?"

"It's nothing, Harry," she answered.  "Nothing at all."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Captain, are you certain that you should be doing this?" Seven asked for the tenth time.

"Seven, it's not going to hurt me to do a little cleaning," Kathryn answered as she wiped the bathroom mirror.  "Besides, how polite would it be to leave our cabin a mess?"

"I doubt that our captors are concerned with such niceties," B'Elanna commented from the next room.  Kathryn sighed as she finished the bathroom window, allowing her hand to move to her back, trying to rub away the tightening that was back.

"Are you alright, Captain?" Seven asked.  She turned to smile at the younger woman:

"I'm fine, Seven."  Truth be told, she was discovering that her back's once dull ache was beginning to get a bit more insistent if she wasn't always moving.  She moved on into the bedroom next.

"Good thing we won't be sleeping here tonight," B'Elanna patted the bed:  "I don't think I could get the blankets untucked."

"I just wanted to see if I'd lost my touch," Kathryn told her.  B'Elanna shook her head:

"Believe me, I don't care if I ever make another bed that meets Starfleet Academy regulations again."

"Apparently the Captain hasn't lost her touch," Seven observed dryly.  B'Elanna laughed:

"That was actually kind of funny, Seven."

"I'm glad you approve."

"I think I should wash the floors," Kathryn stated aloud.

"No, Kathryn, you're going to wear yourself out," Torres scolded.  "You need to save your energy... how in the world do you do this?"  Kathryn sat down next to B'Elanna, who was trying to learn how to knit.

"Here, let me show you..."

"I'm never going to get the hang of this," the engineer lamented.  "Align a warp core, I can do; knit a blanket for my baby, I cannot."

"Maybe you should take up crocheting instead," Kathryn suggested, standing.  "Most people find it easier."  She looked out the window, hands on her back.  B'Elanna stood, and stepped in front of her, blocking her view:

"I can't do this...  How am I supposed to learn how to crochet?" she asked, her own round tummy touching Kathryn's.

"It appears that you have plenty of time," Seven replied from her seat.  B'Elanna turned to face her:

"Don't remind me," she answered.  Kathryn sighed.  Between her back and B'Elanna's moodiness, it looked like it was going to be a long day.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Hello my wife," Chakotay stepped up behind Kathryn and slipped his arms around her waist.

"Hello, my husband," she answered before offering him a quick kiss.

"Tom..." B'Elanna pushed past him and Kathryn toward her own husband.  Paris turned to face his wife, only to find her wrapped around him.  He returned the hug a bit hesitantly, looking to Chakotay in surprise.  "I missed you."  Tom pulled away, but left his arm around his wife's waist.

"Let's get lunch," he shrugged to Chakotay before leading his wife toward the growing line.  Chakotay turned to Kathryn:

"Rough day?" he asked.  She shook her head:

"Don't ask," she replied.  She took his hand, and led him the direction that her helmsman and chief engineer and just taken.  They stood side by side in silence, simply enjoying each other's company.  This was still all incredibly new to both of them, being able to hug and hold hands in public.  He wasn't complaining, though.  In fact, he was reveling in it:  he knew that as soon as they were back in uniform, Kathryn wouldn't stand for such public displays of affection (at least not while they were on duty).  He was making the most of this while it lasted.

He noticed that Kathryn was suddenly very tense.  She lifted a hand to massage her back.  Moments later, she let out a breath that he hadn't realized she had been holding.

"Your back?" he asked quietly.

"Hm?" she asked.

"Your back," he repeated, stepping behind her and rubbing the place that she had.  "Still bothering you?"

"Off and on," she acknowledged.  "It's getting worse."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she assured him.  "I'll live with it."

"Have you been resting?" he asked.  "Or have you been running around like a captain with her head chopped off?"  She smiled but sighed in spite of his attempt to lighten the mood:

"It hurts more when I try to stay still."

"Maybe you should go to sickbay..."

"Why so they can keep me there for observation?" she asked shortly.  "If that happens we'll never get off this planet."  He knew that she meant 'we' as in her and the baby.  He tried again:

"I just thought..."

"Chakotay," she turned to face him, and he realized that he had pushed a little too hard.  But her anger melted when she saw the worry that he knew was evident in his face.  "I appreciate your concern, but I really don't think that's a good idea."

"I just thought that they might be able to make you more comfortable, Kathryn."  She laid her hand on his shoulder:

"I doubt that there's anything that they can do at this point," she told him softly.  "And even if they can..." she paused, shook her head:  "it's not worth the risk."  He sighed, knowing that she was right:

"Alright," he agreed.  "But tell me if I can help, okay?"  She turned back to her tray, looking over her shoulder, smiling:

"You know, you're pretty cute when you're worried," she teased.  "I'm going to have to remember that."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Ugh," Tom groaned.  "Get a room!"  Kathryn put down her spoon, Chakotay having already tasted its contents:

"You're one to talk," she replied.  "If I recall correctly, you and B'Elanna were making more than one person queasy a couple of days ago."

"Yeah, but that's my job," Tom replied matter of factly.

"You're supposed to be nauseating?" Seven asked, incredulous.  Kathryn chuckled.

"You're not the one who has to put up with him," B'Elanna replied, picking at her food.  Tom sighed:

"Don't you want some of my yummy gooey stuff?" he asked.

"I'm not hungry," she replied, pushing her plate back.

"Water?" he held out a glass.

"No," B'Elanna told him firmly.  Kathryn smiled sympathetically, and Tom turned back to his own meal.

Her breath caught in her throat:  her back was cramping again.  She leaned forward on her elbows, hoping that it would alleviate the pain.  It didn't.  Chakotay's hand discreetly moved to her back, his touch helping to ease her discomfort.  She cursed inwardly:  why did he have to be so aggrevatingly observant?  He leaned toward her, his lips tickling her ear:

"Breathe, Kathryn," he whispered, as if it were a secret between lovers.  It might be at that:  she wasn't exactly thrilled about the crew finding out that she was at the mercy of something as trivial as a backache.  She wished that she could focus on something besides the pain, but it seemed to flare up every half hour of so, suddenly rendering her unable to think about anything else.  She forced herself to inhale, taking as deep of a breath as she could, and found that it actually helped.  Chakotay's fingers slowly massaged away the pain, and she leaned back in relief.

Her unborn child squirmed in response, and Kathryn sighed:  this was not good.  She needed to use the lavatory:  quite badly, in fact.  It was as if the baby was sitting on her bladder.  His head probably was at that.  She turned to Chakotay, then to the rest of the table:

"Excuse me," she started to stand, Chakotay immedietely helping.  Now she hoped that she could make it across the room in time... she wouldn't even think about the crew's reaction if she didn't.  For the first time since she had been impregnated--well, almost the first time--she hated what was happening to her body.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"How's the day been so far?" Chakotay asked after Kathryn had left the table a second time.  B'Elanna snorted:

"Interesting," she replied.  "I've gotten an entire row done on my knitting project and the Captain and I took a walk:  I wish that I would have stayed behind.  It's too uncomfortable to walk any distance."

"I see," Chakotay replied.

"Unfortunately, you don't," B'Elanna replied.  "You have no idea what it's like to feel like you've got a watermelon..."

"I think I get the point," Chakotay cut her off.  He was sorry that he had asked.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn walked toward the exit, smoothing her dress as she walked.  She pushed the doors open, and she stepped out into the main room again.  Most of the crew was gone by now, and she regretted not being able to tell Chakotay goodbye before he had gone back to work.

"Are you alright?" his voice startled her.  He was waiting for her, not in the mines:

"You're still here," she noted.

"It's raining, they told us to stay put.  And you're avoiding the question."

"What question?"

"Are you alright?" he stated each word, slowly, clearly.

"Fine," she told him.  He fell into step beside her:  "If I ever suggest having another child, Chakotay, remind me about backaches and repeated trips to the bathroom."

"The baby has dropped," he noted.

"What?" she stopped.  His gaze drifted downward, the shifted across the room:

"You're carrying the baby lower," he shrugged.  She glanced down at herself:

"Really?" she retraced her steps to the restroom, stepping in front of the nearest mirror.  She turned sideways, scrutinizing her profile.  Well that explained a couple of things...  She turned and left the tiled room again.  "Maybe," she admitted.

"Definitely," he replied.

"Chakotay, just because the baby has dropped doesn't mean anything.  In a normal pregnancy it can happen weeks ahead of time..."

"Or hours," he noted.

"Granted," she replied.  "But even if I am about to go into labor..."

"You're already in labor," he interrupted.  Kathryn sighed:

"One contraction, Chakotay:  one.  It's my back that's killing me."  He was about to cut her off, but she didn't give him in the chance:  "I am not in labor."

"You're experiencing back labor," he informed her gently.

"And just how would you know that?" she asked.

"My mother was our tribe's midwife."

"And that makes you an expert?" she fumed.  She sat down heavily:  it was beginning to become more obvious to her why B'Elanna was getting mad at Tom every time he tried to make her more comfortable:  Chakotay's similar sentiment was more than a little annoying.  "Alright, let's say that you're right..."  He might be, she granted him that:  "that doesn't mean that I should start doing anything differently."

"I'm not suggesting that you do," he had sat down across from her.  "But just for me, would you please tell me what that is , exactly?"

"Walking, cleaning, doing anything to try to relieve the pressure on my back..."

"Nesting," he supplied.

"Yes, I suppose so," she answered.  She inhaled sharply at another... contraction, she supposed.  It didn't feel like a contraction; contractions weren't supposed to hurt like this.  This was getting to be more than a little annoying:  she didn't want to think about how many hours she had of this ahead of her.

"Breathe, Kathryn," he said for the who-knows-how-many-eth time.  How could he be so annoying?  She forced herself to exhale slowly, then took another deep breath.  He was at her side now, but she pushed him away.  The last thing she wanted was for him to touch her.

The pain finally subsided, and she breathed a sigh of relief.  Breathing did help, and she knew that Chakotay only wanted to help her get through this.  That was exactly what she wanted, so why had she pushed him away? His help was incredibly important to her, and she had rejected the very thing she needed.

"I'm sorry," she couldn't stop the tears from coming.  Oh, how she hated her lack of control.  Chakotay gently pulled her into his arms:

"It's alright, Kathryn," he comforted her.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"I don't want the crew to know yet."  Chakotay helped Kathryn through the mud (there wasn't much they could do to get around it at this point), quietly listening to what Kathryn was saying as they neared the shack.  She continued:  "It is best for everyone if I keep doing what I've been doing."

"Yes, Ma'am," he joked, once again hoping to lighten the mood.  She smiled, but he knew that she really wasn't in the mood.  Her body was doing something that she couldn't control, and she seemed to fear that process as much as he was in awe of it.  Since he had pointed out what was happening to her she had tensed considerably, and that only made it harder on her.  She was worrying now, and he knew that she didn't want the crew to see her in such a compromising situation, not even the senior staff.

Chakotay helped her up the two steps, and they then proceeded into the room, both leaving their muddy shoes by the door.  Seven stood as they entered, placing her hands behind her back:

"Captain, Commander," she greeted formally.

"Seven," Chakotay returned.  Kathryn was intent on wringing the water out of her dress, but Chakotay couldn't see why.  It was hopeless:  she was drenched.

"I'm going to take a bath," Kathryn announced.  His suggestion:  Chakotay followed her to the bathroom.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
The water was heavenly.  Chakotay had drawn her bath, helped her in the tub, and then left her to soak.  Seven had mentioned something about the weather:  at this point, she could care less.  Chakotay, blessed man, had gone to listen to the young woman himself.

She had desperately needed this.  She had been starting to lose her nerve, and needed to recollect herself before she lost all semblance of control.  It wouldn't do at all for her to be stressed while she was in labor and trying to lead an escape attempt.  She knew that it would hinder her leadership abilities, and vaguely remembered reading something about tension slowing the birthing process as well.  Simply put, she needed to be focused on both of the tasks at hand.

Her first contraction surprised her.  The heat helped her back immensely, and she could actually feel her uterus tightening now.  The contractions didn't hurt:  which wasn't to say that they were easy.  They were definitely starting to become harder, closer together--after all, labor is, by definition, work--but as long as she stayed calm, breathed through them, it wasn't anything that she could handle.  Yet, she told herself.  She would definitely need Chakotay's calming presence later on.

"You alright?"  Chakotay, checking up on her again.  She didn't mind near as much as before.  He knelt next to the tub:  "You look like you're doing a lot better."

"I am, thanks to you," she told him.  "Thank you," she added more softly.

"For what?" he asked, a bit amused.

"For being here for me," she replied.  "For everything that you've already done:  that you're going to do," her voice wavered at the end:  another contraction.  Chakotay offered his hand, but she didn't notice at first, was totally focused on what was happening to her body.  She accepted his hand when it was over, and squeezed it as if to say that it wasn't so bad.  He squeezed back:

"How far apart?" he asked quietly.

"Ten, fifteen minutes," she wasn't sure:  she couldn't exactly ask the computer for the time.  "A while yet," she smiled.

"Ready to be captain again?" he asked.

"Do I have to get out?"

"Not yet," he smiled.

"Then fine."

"Seven has discovered that the weather here is controlled."  Kathryn sat up straighter:  science was something that always caught her interest.  "The rain was programmed for this afternoon."

"Do you think that they suspect?" she asked.

"Maybe," he admitted.  "It might have just been scheduled:  it hasn't rained here since we arrived.  One thing is for certain:  it will be a lot easier for them to track the crew through the mud."  Kathryn nodded her understanding:

"What about the guards?"

"Tuvok thinks that its been about doubled," Chakotay supplied.  Kathryn nodded:

"Not surprising."  She studied her husband's reaction to the news he had just given her:  "You're worried."  He nodded:

"I wish that we could wait."

"Hey," she offered a hand of support:  "We can't sacrifice the present waiting for a future that may never happen."  He nodded his understanding.  "It's tonight or never," Kathryn stated firmly.  "Are you with me?"  Chakotay actually smiled:

"I thought that I was the one who is supposed to be making you feel better."  Kathryn shook her head:

"No," she told him softly:  "We're in this together."

 


	10. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i remember when i wrote this i wanted each chapter to cover one day in the adventure. Day 9 somehow exploded and became 3-4 chapters worth of content crammed into 2 chapters.

Kathryn had given up pacing when she became a captain.  The activity usually denoted apprehension, and seeing that one's captain was nervous only served to heighten the fears of any crewmember.  It had rarely given her any satisfaction anyway.  But tonight was not any night:  tonight was the only chance they had.  Deep down, she knew that she needed to see the crew just as much as they needed to see her.  Maybe it wasn't that she was pacing as much as she was walking the only corridors that were available to her.  She'd done it many times before:  touring the ship the night before a battle, an important away mission.  It was always for her as much as it was for them.  She wanted to be able to remember each face, to take them with her, to inspire her.  It had always served her well before.

She paused at most tables, taking the time to converse for a few moments with each member of the crew.  She could feel the tension in the air:  they were all as eager to be rid of this place as she was.  She wasn't sure how much they knew, but they were willing to follow her wherever she led.  They were always ready to follow her.

She was almost finished now.  Kathryn approached a new table, another four crewmembers that she wanted to see.  The quartet all turned to face her as she stopped before them.  Carey and Vorik were immedietely halfway out of their seats, and Kathryn held up her hands to stop them:

"Please," she smiled, "don't get up on my account."  The two engineers settled back in their seats, and she turned to B'Elanna.  "How are you all doing tonight?"

"I've briefed the team," she replied.  "We're ready."

"Well that's good to know, but it's not what I asked," Kathryn smiled at her chief engineer.  B'Elanna opened her mouth, but nothing came out.  She glanced at her subordinates, then back to the Captain, still unsure how to reply.

"We are eager to go, Captain," Seven supplied for her.

"Quite," B'Elanna finally managed.

"I would concur with those statements," Vorik agreed.  "I believe that the entire crew is highly anticipating tonight's events."  Leave it to a Vulcan to state the obvious...

Kathryn looked up suddenly, instantly aware of the motion that she had seen out of the corner of her eye.  They all watched one of the guards stroll by.  Several were posted around the perimeter of the room tonight...  They were all silent until he was out of earshot.

"How are you tonight, Captain?" Carey asked, breaking the silence.  She turned back to him, and he continued:  "I mean, it looks like you're getting close to being ready to deliver."  He looked away, embarrassed that he had said that.  She hadn't had much contact with Carey recently, and they had never been close enough to consider each other friends.  She knew that Carey was a father, though, and she understood--even appreciated--his concern:

"I'm doing fine, Lieutenant," she replied softly.  "Thank you for asking."  He looked up in surprise:

"Of course, Captain," he actually smiled in relief.  Kathryn smiled back:

"Enjoy your meal," she moved on, resuming her stroll.  She was all the way to the end of the next row before she realized that she'd better move, and fast.  The Borg twins catapulted past her so fast that she barely had time to get out of their way.

"Azan!  Rebi!" Neelix followed close behind them.  "I'm so sorry Captain," he apologized as he passed her the same way they had:  "I don't know what's gotten into them!"  Kathryn smiled:

"Boys will be boys," she replied as he bustled off.  She turned to find another trio standing before her.

"Good evening, Captain," Icheb greeted.

"Hello again," she greeted.

"You've grown, Captain," Mezoti stated.

"Mezoti," Naomi stated under her breath, elbowing her playmate.  Kathryn smiled and kneeled so that she was at the same level as the two girls:

"Yes, I have," she replied.  She lowered her voice:  "Don't tell anyone, though."  Kathryn pulled her baby blanket into view, out from behind her back:  "Do you think that you could take care of something for me?"

"What is it, Captain?" Naomi asked hopefully.  Kathryn opened up the blanket:

"Well, I have these clothes that I made for the baby..."  Naomi gasped when she saw them, and picked up the bootie:

"It's so tiny," she noted.  "Will the baby's foot actually fit inside this?"

"Yes it will," Kathryn replied.  "Do you think that you could take care of these for me tonight?"  Naomi made a face:

"We don't want to get them dirty..."  Mezoti was silent but contemplative, her finger rubbing the soft sweater.

"Oh, I'm sure that you two can handle it," Janeway replied.  "Of course, if you don't want the job, I could always ask Azan and Rebi..."

"No!" Mezoti blurted out suddenly.  She blushed, then took the sweater:  "They would only lose them," she stated logically.

"Well, then:  it sounds like I've come to the right persons."

"We won't let you down, Captain," Naomi smiled.  "Come on, let's tell Seven," Naomi pulled Mezoti across the room, and Kathryn watched them leave with a smile.

"May I speak with you, Captain?" Icheb asked, pulling her out of her reverie.  She nodded, placing her hand against the wall, trying to push herself up.  Unfortunately, it wasn't quite working.

 "Captain, are you alright?" Icheb asked in concern.  She started to laugh, unable to stop herself:

"I can't stand up," she chuckled.  Icheb reached down a hand and pulled her back up.  "Thank you, Icheb," she noted in relief.  "Now, you were saying?"  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay turned around just in time for a small person to hit him head on:

"Whoa," he told the two girls that stood before him.  "Where do you think you're going in such a hurry?"

"To tell Seven," Naomi replied matter of factly.  "I'm sorry that I ran into you, Sir."

"Tell Seven what?" he asked.

"The Captain asked us to take care of something for her tonight," Mezoti supplied.  He glanced across the room, to where Icheb was helping his wife stand back up:

"And what might that be?" he asked, turning back to the girls.

"The things for the baby." Naomi proudly held out one of the small booties that Kathryn had worked so hard on:  "See?"

"Sounds like a big job for two little girls," he noted.

"We aren't little," Mezoti replied a bit defensively.

"I'm almost five," Naomi pronounced, rolling her eyes.

"Ah," he replied.  "Well, if the Captain trusted you with such a big job, she must trust you."  Naomi giggled in response.  "How would you two like to help me, too?"

"How?" asked Mezoti.

"I've been carrying something around for a couple of days, but I'm worried that I might lose it tonight."

"Lose what?" asked Naomi.  Chakotay stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the second bootie:

"This."

"Oh," Naomi took it.  "I was wondering why the Captain only made one."  She looked inside, wrinkling her nose:  "What's shmily?"  Chakotay sighed:

"I wish I knew," he smiled.  "I've been meaning to ask her myself."  Mezoti took the note from Naomi and read it herself.  She held it out to him:

"Maybe you should keep this," she told him.

"Thanks," he took it.  "Now, I'm not going to have any problem getting those back, will I?"  Naomi giggled again.

"I don't think so," she replied.

"Good," he smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Commander," Mezoti replied.

"Thanks," Naomi repeated.  She nudged Mezoti:  "Come on!"  Chakotay turned and crossed the room, nodding to several crewmembers along the way.  It didn't take him long to reach Kathryn and Icheb, who were just wrapping up their conversation:

"I see that you saved my wife," he smiled.  He discretely eased his hands onto her back:  "I may have to find some way to repay you."

"That won't be necessary, Commander," Icheb replied.  "I'm glad that I could help."  He turned back to her:  "Thank you for your time, Captain."

"Of course, Icheb," she replied as he left.  They both watched him go, standing in silence.

"What was that about?" he asked.  She led the way back to their table:

"He wanted to go with the engineering team," she spoke as she walked.

"What did you tell him?"

"What any good captain would say," she smiled.  "That I needed him more here."  She eased into her seat, setting the baby blanket on the seat beside her.  "I told him that Neelix needed help with the children."

"I'm glad that you didn't tell me that," he sat down across from her, and she laughed softly.

"He didn't like the idea of being told to babysit," she admitted, taking her fork.

"He'll get over it."  She nodded:

"They're growing up so fast."  He paused:

"How's our little one?" he asked.

"He isn't happy to be in such tight quarters," she replied.  "Did you realize..." she stopped, taking a deep breath, leaning forward slightly.

"Kathryn..."  She seemed a million miles away in those few seconds.  She smiled reassuringly when it was over:

"I'm alright."

"Your back?" he asked.  She nodded.  "You know, I could help you be more comfortable..."  He started to stand up, but she lifted a hand to stop him:

"No," she told him firmly.

"It's just a backrub," he retorted gently.  "The crew won't think anything of it... look at Tom and B'Elanna."  Her eyes didn't leave his as he motioned towards the couple:

"I'll live with it," she told him.  He sat back down, and they sat in uneasy silence.  "You know," she ventured.  "We haven't discussed a name."

"A name?" he asked blandly.

"For the baby," she replied.

"Captain."  They immedietely turned at Tuvok's voice, unaware that he had joined them, but immedietely aware of the warning his voice held.  Chakotay's eyes moved past him, to the two guards who were coming towards them.  They all turned in unison, only to find two more aliens approaching from the other side, effectively cornering the trio.  All three stood, but they had already descended upon them.

"You:"   _Voyager's_  three highest ranking officers turned at the alien's voice.  "Come with us."  Chakotay stood and stepped forward, between her and the other men:

"Where are you taking her?" he asked calmly.  He knew without asking:  had been dreading such a possibility.

"She needs to see the doctor," the same man replied.

"That is illogical," Tuvok stepped forward this time.

"Is it?" the guard challenged.

"Yes," the Vulcan replied calmly.  He glanced towards Janeway:  "The Captain is not in need of medical attention at this time."

"Our doctor will be the judge of that."

"Forcing the Captain to travel to the medical facilities will only serve to tire her needlessly.  I doubt that 'your doctor' will be pleased."

"She's coming with us now," the alien stated firmly.  Tuvok exchanged a glance with the Captain, and both men stayed where they were.  "Step aside."  Chakotay could feel Tuvok comply, but he didn't move a millimeter.  He stared at the other man for a long, tense moment.  The guard shook his head:  "Don't make a scene," he stated, the challenge evident in his voice.

"She's my wife, and I'm coming with you," Chakotay stated firmly.  The guard took a half step backwards, allowing the silence to sink in, exchanging a knowing look with the guard that stood next to him.  Suddenly, he lunged forward, punching Chakotay in the stomach and sending him to his knees.

"Chakotay!" Kathryn was immedietely at his side, kneeling before him as he tried to catch his breath.  Chakotay shook his head, lifting it to see the man who had hit him:

"Is that all you got?"  The guard started forward in anger...  Kathryn moved between him and the alien, shielding him with her body.  The man took her arm, pulled her up, away from him.  Chakotay rose to his feet, but was held back by the two men who stood behind him.  Their superior officer turned towards the exit, pulling Kathryn with him.  Tom and Harry stood in the way, arms crossed.

"Let go of her," Tom stated glibly.

"Move aside," the man hissed.

"I don't think that you know what you're getting yourself into..."  B'Elanna pushed past her husband:  "You're liable to get hurt."  The man laughed:

"Nothing you could do to me would be anything compared to what will happen to you if you do not move out of my way."

"You wouldn't hurt a pregnant woman, would you?" Harry asked in mock worry.  That gave the alien pause.  Tom reached for the man's shoulder:

"Why don't we go somewhere nice and quiet and talk this over."  He squeezed the man's shoulder, and the man looked at Paris' hand:

"What...?"  Tom squeezed again, and the man fell to the ground.  Chakotay moved before the two men holding him could.  He turned on the one on his right, knocking him to the ground, unconscious, while Tuvok disposed of the one on his left and B'Elanna hit the one closest to Kathryn over the head with a tray.  Elsewhere in the room, other guards were disposed of just as quickly by various crewmembers.

"Mr. Paris," Kathryn stepped over the man that lay at her feet.  "I had no idea that you knew the Vulcan neck pinch."

"I've had a good teacher."

"You performed adequately," Tuvok noted.  He looked down at the man on the floor:  "Never the less, your technique needs improvement."

"It isn't easy learning on holograms, but I try."  Suddenly, he noticed that his wife was leaning on the table for support:  "B'Elanna..."  All eyes were on the young woman as he moved to her side:

"I'm alright," she said, a bit out of breath.  She straightened up:  "I just didn't expect the baby to complain so much."

"Perhaps you should restrict yourself to activities that are less strenuous," Seven noted, stepping closer to the engineer.

"The Captain's going tonight, so can I," Torres retorted.

"Yes, but she isn't actually hitting anyone," Chakotay stepped forward, handed Kathryn the baby blanket:  "I think this is our cue to leave."  Kathryn nodded, and pulled the afghan around her shoulders like a shawl:

"Alright, people..."  She paused:  "Let's do it."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Despite all outward signs, Kathryn Janeway was completely relaxed.  This was something that she could handle; this was something she understood.  She had years of combat training under her belt, and her leadership abilities had always come out the most during emergencies.  She had a knack at becoming a calming presence to her crew, an intimidating force against her enemies:  one that shouldn't be underestimated.  She was in her element.

It felt good to be back in control, to feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins.  She followed closely behind Chakotay and Tuvok, Paris and Kim at her side.  The group traveled silently, stealthily.  Tuvok signaled them to a halt as they reached the end of the building that sat next to the shuttle pad.  Surprisingly enough, they had yet to see any guards since they had left the ones in the cafeteria.  She knew that could change quickly and would at any time.

Tuvok turned to Chakotay, held up five fingers.  Her husband nodded back, and the two rounded the corner of the building.  There was no sound as the two men attacked silently, and Kathryn followed quickly.  It was obvious to her that they had caught this security detail by surprise.  That was expected:  what she couldn't believe was that one of them had the audacity to charge her...  Her, the pregnant captain!  She easily sidestepped his advance, and Tom assisted the man's trip into a wall.

Chakotay handed her a phaser calmly, then turned to follow Tuvok.  Fortunately, he seemed to be keeping his attention on the task at hand instead of worrying about her.  She was thankful for that:  it made her feel more at ease that she had finally made the right decision, allowing the nature of their relationship to change.  Now she just had to make sure that she wouldn't worry about him.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
They came to a halt as they reached the corner of the building.  Chakotay squatted behind to Tuvok in the darkness, his eyes focused on the older officer.  The Vulcan held up four fingers:  the number of men around the shuttle.  Both of them turned back, and Kathryn nodded that she and Tom and Harry were ready.  It was time.

Chakotay dived out into the open, firing as he went.  A shot whined past his ear as he rolled, but he ignored it.  He landed in a crouch, and managed to take out two guards quickly and efficiently.  Tuvok had gotten the other two, but reinforcements were already trying to come out of the building.  He moved closer to the shuttle before he hit the dirt again and laid down fire, ignoring Kathryn, Tom, and Harry as they struck out for the shuttle.  He concentrated on keeping the men inside the building pinned inside.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
They were already behind the shuttle, hadn't really met any resistance trying to get there.  Tom was trying to open the hatch now, Harry covering him, and for the first time since the fighting started, she didn't have anything to do.  She had never been a very patient woman, was used to taking action...  Now she had to wait, hard as that was.  Her thoughts turned to Chakotay for a moment:  he had almost been hit in the head when he had left cover.  She didn't know how they had known they were there, but they had.

Fortunately it hadn't mattered:  both Tuvok and her husband were experienced.  She rarely thought about how Chakotay had gotten some of that experience, but she took comfort in the fact that he had it.  He was out in the open, lying face down in the dirt, with only a phaser to protect him, could easily get hit by a good shot.  But he had been a Maquis and a Starfleet officer:  he knew what he was doing.  She pushed the obtrusive thoughts aside.

She saw the shield deactivate before she heard the alarm.  The loud sound startled her baby, and she smiled, laying a hand over him.  But she didn't allow herself to enjoy the moment.  She turned and moved closer to her two companions, trying to stay behind cover and see what was going on.

"Ow!" Harry cried out as he fell backwards to the ground, clutching his arm where it had been hit.  She helped him up, and he leaned up against the shuttle as best he could as she tried to examine his wound in the darkness.  He put his hand over hers, stopping her:  "I'm alright, Captain."  She nodded, then she took her phaser and left him, taking his place behind Tom.  She had phasered several guards before Paris yelped, pulling back and ducking behind the shuttle.

He had been grazed on the back of the hand, didn't seem too badly hurt, but Kathryn's attention had been pulled away from the battle entirely.  Tom pulled her back against the shuttle, effectively pinning her, just in time to avoid getting hit in the head.

"Won't hurt you, huh, Captain?" he asked, sarcastic.  He turned back to his work.  She didn't have a chance to reply, hadn't been ready for the contraction.  Perhaps it was because she had been distracted:  her attention certainly hadn't been on her body.  But suddenly her back was throbbing, and it was all she could do to breathe through it.  The sounds or the nearby fighting faded:  her attention was diverted inward.

Part of her was aware of the fact that her inability to focus on anything else left her vulnerable, but there was nothing that she could do about it.  She couldn't ignore what her body was doing any more than she could ignore her body's need for air.  The contraction didn't last long in reality:  but to her it seemed to take her body forever to release her from it.

 She hoped that Harry hadn't noticed, even ventured a glance towards him, but then she pushed herself back up to her feet, her mind already focused on the task at hand.  First to get back her ship, then to have her baby.  She would pay enough attention to her body to get through the contractions, but right now her duty was to the crew.  She turned her attention toward the expected rendezvous point.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
The firing had dwindled, the other side's forces having been heavily disabled.  They were probably calling for reinforcements.  Chakotay rose to a crouch, and backed towards the shuttle.  He noticed movement behind Tuvok, and the Vulcan heard the group approaching.  He was relieved to see B'Elanna and Seven crouching next to the dark-skinned man.

Carey was already running out to meet him, and they both laid down the fire while Tuvok and Vorik escorted Torres and Seven to the shuttle.  Tuvok was actually assisting B'Elanna (he had no idea how the older man had managed getting her to accept that help), and he could hear Tom powering up the shuttle.

He signaled for Carey to climb aboard.  The younger man complied, then yelled his name as the hatch began to close.  Chakotay turned and ran the last five meters, while Carey and Tuvok made sure he didn't get hit.  Chakotay jumped into the shuttle, and Paris was lifting off almost before the hatch was closed all the way.  They were free.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Tuvok walked past her, towards the cockpit, as Kathryn sat down next to Harry.  She set her child's blanket aside and opened the medkit she had found.  The rest of the group either found a seat or leaned against a bulkhead for support.  She bandaged Harry's arm as the shuttle ascended:  needed something to keep her mind occupied, focused on the outside world, which it was becoming increasingly more difficult to do.  Her contractions were stronger now, slowly becoming closer together.  She knew that this was real, that before the day was over she would hold a baby in her arms.  Part of her relieved, was glad that it would be over finally, but the captain in her wasn't.  If only the baby would wait a little longer...

Now that the immediate emergency was over, she needed to think about the next task at hand.  Harry seemed coherent enough, but didn't even seem to notice her contractions.  B'Elanna was quietly conversing with Seven, Carey, and Vorik, none of whom seemed even ruffled.  Chakotay was standing in the doorway to the cockpit, conversing with Tom and Tuvok.  Every few minutes he would look back, at her, as if he was afraid to let her out of his sight.

It didn't take her long to finish working on Harry's arm.  Once again her mind lacked focus, making it nearly impossible for her to keep her mind on anything besides what was happening to her body.  Her back ached so badly...  She longed for Chakotay's hands to work their magic, but they couldn't, not now, not in front of the crew.  Instead she stood to move to her husband's side:

"Status," her voice surprised the two men who were seated at the consoles.  They had been so focused on the task at hand that they hadn't heard her approach.

"We appear to have surprised our captors," Tuvok provided.  "As of yet, there is no sign of enemy spacecraft."

"ETA to  _Voyager_?" she asked.

"Ten minutes," Tom replied.  "And there she is..."  Kathryn ducked to look, and her breath caught in her throat.  It did every time she saw her ship from afar.  Her grey hull was a sharp contrast against the black vacuum of space, the deep red moon she was in orbit around.  She didn't think that she had ever seen anything so beautiful in her life...  Well, nothing besides Earth and... she pushed that thought aside and watched  _Voyager_  slowly grow larger.  They would be back aboard her soon.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay turned to watch Kathryn, a small smile on his face.  She was impatient as ever, fidgeting beside him like a child waiting to open Christmas presents.  She looked so beautiful like that.  He moved closer to her, and slid his arm around her back.  She pulled away at his touch, turned to face him:

"As soon as we're aboard, I want you to go to engineering," she softly ordered him.  Chakotay didn't have a chance to reply.

"Two minutes," Paris reported.

Kathryn turned to watch their approach again, as professional as he had ever seen her, and then all that changed.  She placed her hand against the bulkhead for support, lifted the other to her back, and she closed her eyes, started breathing more deeply.  Her attention was pulled away from what was happening entirely, and it was more than enough for him to know.  He moved to stand behind her, his hands instinctively finding the tightness in her back.

He didn't think that she realized he was there at first.  He could see the subtle change in her breathing as it ended, as she relaxed, allowing herself to enjoy his touch, the relief he was providing.  And then she suddenly pulled away, turned to push past him into the back of the shuttle.  He followed her as she passed the crew without a word, pausing only to retrieve the baby blanket, stopping at the hatch.

"When do I get my wife back?" he asked softly.  She turned abruptly:

"I am your wife," she stated bluntly.  "I haven't gone anywhere."

"I'm new at the controls, so this may be a little bumpy," Paris called over his shoulder, loud enough for everyone to hear.  "Brace yourselves."  Kathryn placed her hand on the wall, but he ignored the warning.

"Kathryn, you're still acting like the Captain..."  She lifted a hand to stop him, death glare in place:

"I am the Captain, Commander, and I always will be," she replied.  "I don't have a split personality, as if she were someone I could ignore."  The shuttle landed with a slight bump, and Kathryn keyed the hatch open.

She was the first one out, and turned to wait, to watch the rest of the team depart.  She didn't have to:  everybody knew what they had to do, didn't have to be reminded to hurry.  But she wanted to.  She ignored Chakotay as he stood behind her, and fell into step beside Tuvok as he left the shuttle:

"Take the bridge," she commanded.  "Get the shields up and modified, and weapon systems online."  Tuvok nodded, looked towards him knowingly.  It was one of the rare moments in which a sense of understanding, even empathy, passed between the two men.  Tuvok turned back to his captain as she continued:  "I'll join you shortly," she finished.

"Understood," the Vulcan followed Tom and Harry from the room.  Kathryn turned to B'Elanna, who had just reached her, and adjusted her gate to match the other woman's.  The Half Klingon was actually slower than she was.  He followed behind them, waiting:  impatient.

"Are you still with me, B'Elanna?" Janeway asked her as they waddled across the room together.

"I'm fine, Captain," B'Elanna reassured her.  "We'll be ready."

"I had no doubt that you would be," she stopped, watching her leave, the last one, then turned to Chakotay.

"You're still here."  It was a statement, not a question.  She turned to lead the way out of the shuttle bay:  "They need you in engineering."

"Why?" he asked as he fell into step beside her.  She gave him a confused look, but didn't stop:

"We need to get the warp core up, and they need the hands..."

"No," he cut her off:  "why?"  She glanced over at him, not missing a stride:

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Why are you pushing me away, Kathryn?" he asked.  "Why are you treating me like just another member of the crew?"  Chakotay reached out for her, firmly held her by the arm, forced her to stop:  "In case you haven't noticed, you're in labor, and just because you're the Captain doesn't make you invincible!"  He could see that he had made her angry but he didn't care.  She had shunned him in the shuttle, pure and simple, and he deserved better than that.

"Do you think that being in labor gives me the permission to stop being the Captain?" she finally demanded.

"Yes!"

"It doesn't," she answered.  "Just because I'm having a child, just because my dreams of becoming a mother are finally coming true, doesn't mean that I can stop.  "I'm already the mother of every member of this crew, and I have to protect them, I have to make sure they're safe.  I already let them down when we got into this mess..."

"Is that what you think, Kathryn?" his voice cut through hers, stopping the stream of words that were pouring out of her.  "This isn't your fault," he shook his head.

"Isn't it?" she demanded.  He could see the pain behind her eyes.

"No," he assured her gently.  "This isn't anyone's fault:  no one's but the people who did this to us."  She turned away, losing the battle with the tears that were threatening to pour down her cheeks.  Suddenly, she placed her hand on the wall, lifted the other to her beautifully full belly, gasping out a sob.  "Hey," he moved to her side, put his arms around her, holding her as tight as he dared.

She was having another contraction; he could sense them almost as quickly as she could now.  But for the first time she was pressed against him, and he could feel it happening between them, her uterus contracting so hard that it scared him.  He could feel how hard her body was working to bring this baby into the world, and he was in awe of this process and of how she could have gone through this day so calmly, acting like nothing was happening in front of the crew and him.  "Kathryn..."

He couldn't keep the worry from his voice.  She didn't answer at first.  It seemed to take forever for her uterus to relax, for her to come back to him.  He hadn't realized until then that she had only been vaguely aware of his touch until then.  Just like in the shuttle...

"I'm alright," she told him.

"Are you sure?" he struggled to keep his voice calm.  He was scared for her.  How could she stay so calm, so levelheaded?  Didn't she understand what was happening to her?  She was about to have a baby!  Suddenly she saw his worry:

"Hey," she told him gently.  "Just breathe."

He smiled at this, and nodded.  They turned and traveled the last few steps to the turbolift, stopping at its doors.  He reached over to touch the button that would call it to them.  "How did you know?" she asked.  He looked to her, confused:

"Know what?"

"In the shuttle," she said softly.  "How did you know that I was having a contraction?" she paused.  "I've worked so hard to hide it..."

"Kathryn," he reached out to lift her chin, causing her eyes to meet his:  "I love you:  you could never hide that from me."

"Do you think that the crew knows?"

"No," he replied firmly.  "Except maybe Tuvok," he added in afterthought.  She nodded her understanding, and the turbolift doors opened.  She glanced toward the 'lift, then turned back to him:

"I need you, Chakotay," she told him.  "I need your support, your strength:  please don't make a huge deal out of this..."

"Kathryn, I understand how you feel the need to be there for the crew..."  She looked as if she were about to object, but he stopped her, lifted a hand to cover her mouth:  "I don't mind you being their mother..." he paused.  "Just let me be their father."  She nodded, smiled:

"You're right," she replied.  "I'm sorry."  He smiled back:

"I love you."

They met halfway, in their first kiss aboard  _Voyager_.  It was different than any that she had ever given him before, because for the first time she was not only telling him that she loved him, but that she desperately needed him.  Not the way she had the night before, shyly wanting to know that he approved of her body...  No, this was a deeper need, a deeper kind of love.  She needed to know that she had his trust, approval, support, and would be there for her through this.  She was openly and honestly telling him that she couldn't do this on her own, that she didn't just want him to be a part of this, but needed him to be.

They pulled away to a hug, and he held her close to himself, could feel the baby move between them.  He rubbed her back in comfort, just holding her, offering the comfort that he knew she needed.

"Trust me?" she whispered.

"Yes," he told her.  "I trust you more than anyone else."  She sniffed by his ear, and he pulled away enough to see her face:  "Go to your bridge," he told her.

She kissed him again, quickly this time, almost as an afterthought, then backed away.  She let go of his hand as she stepped into the 'lift, still facing the corridor as was her custom.  Her gaze held his, and he saw her mouth the words 'I love you.'

"Bridge."  And then the doors close behind her.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Report," Kathryn ordered as soon as she stepped onto the bridge.  Her face bore no sign of the tears she had been crying only minutes before, and she was once again in control:  as in control as she could be, under the circumstances.  She calmly walked towards the center of the bridge, only using the railing for support once, on the stairs.  Her hand held the place she had touched so many times before that it was already slightly worn down from her fingers' caress.  It felt good to be back on her bridge.

"The modifications have been completed, Captain," Tuvok reported.

"We're breaking orbit," Tom reported.  "Setting a course for the planet at full impulse."  Paris glanced back at her as she slowly eased herself into the Captain's chair.  She shifted her weight:  it didn't fit her body quite right, the way she had known for six years.  She dropped the folded baby blanket into Chakotay's chair.

"I'm detecting two ships, Captain," Harry reported.  "They're on an intercept course."

"How long?" she asked.

"Twenty minutes."

"Go to red alert," Kathryn ordered.  The bridge darkened, was suddenly lit by the familiar red light.  She leaned as far to her left as she could, opened the console that she normally shared with her first officer, forced herself to calmly breathe through a contraction.  She could still only feel them in her back, but they were coming about every five minutes now, and she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to work despite them.

She focused on the console as it finished opening, and as the contraction ended she noticed that it didn't seem quite right, the angle she was looking at the panel.  Then she realized that it was because she couldn't lean as close to it as she was used to:  her stomach was in the way.  "Bridge to Torres," she stated, her voice steady.  "How long until we have warp drive?"  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"We need half an hour, Captain," B'Elanna replied.  Chakotay glanced at his friend.  She seemed unusually tense at the moment:  not the confident, capable engineer that he was used to seeing.

"We may not have that," Kathryn's comm voice was steady, even:  every bit the Captain.  "We're going to have company."

"I'll see what we can do, Captain," B'Elanna replied.  "Torres out."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn's her fingers were drumming on the arm of her chair.  She forced them to be still, and tried to cross her legs, not even realizing what she was doing until it didn't work.  That was when it occurred to her that she wasn't sitting up very straight:  her knees were spread slightly, not at all like the way she usually sat.  She tried to sit up straighter, tried to hold her legs together, but it didn't work.  For the first time since she had become the captain of  _Voyager_ , sitting in her chair wasn't comfortable:  she couldn't sit like a captain was supposed to.  She sighed, resigning herself that she was going to have to sit with her knees apart for a little while.

"We're entering orbit," Tom reported, glancing over his shoulder at her.  She nodded, turned to look toward Ops.

"Mr. Kim?"

"I've found them, Captain," Harry replied.  She smiled, turning back toward the front of the bridge: "Move us into position, Lieutenant."  Tom nodded, never turning his attention away from his console.  She turned her own console, noticed that the alien starships were still approximately ten minutes from intercept.  She wondered what was taking them so long.

"I've got a transporter lock, " Kim stated moments later. "Shields," Kathryn ordered.

"Shields are down," Tuvok reported.

"Energize."

"Captain, two ships are coming out of warp on our port bow!" Paris cut her off.  "They came out of nowhere..."

"Shields!" she ordered, cutting him off.  She turned, looking to Kim:  "Ensign?"

"I was able to get half the crew," he reported.  "I only need a few seconds..."   _Voyager_  shook as both enemy ships fired upon her simultaneously.  Kathryn pushed herself out of her chair and walked toward the conn:

"Take us into the atmosphere, Tom," she ordered.

"Captain?" he looked up to her in surprise.

"I'm betting that they won't be able to follow us," she explained, inwardly cursing her body for choosing this moment to have a contraction.  At least she was able to continue functioning through it.  She didn't need to focus her full attention on it now:  they had become less painful since she had gotten back to  _Voyager_.  She was more relaxed here, and the fact that she wasn't running around probably had something to do with it as well.

"Which will buy us a couple of minutes," Tom nodded his understanding as she reached his side.  "Aye, Captain, taking us down."   
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay turned to watch B'Elanna as she walked past him.  She stopped beside him, leaning against the railing that encircled the warp core as she double-checked his readings.

"Are you okay?" he asked.  She lifted her gaze:

"I'm fine," she turned back to her work.

"You're sure that you're not pushing yourself too hard?"

"Don't start," she held up a hand.  "The last thing I need right now is two Tom Paris' to deal with."  Chakotay grinned.  "Besides," she shrugged:  "If the Captain can do it, I don't see why I can't."  Chakotay nodded solemnly.

 _Voyager_  shook, and Chakotay grabbed B'Elanna before she could fall.  He recognized the familiar sensation of being under fire, and turned back to his console as soon as the engineer was steady on her feet again.

"What's happening?" B'Elanna demanded, walking around the core towards the console where Carey and Seven of Nine stood.   _Voyager_  shook again, but she was ready for it this time.  They both turned in surprise when the red klaxons suddenly changed to blue, and Chakotay turned back to the sensors:

"Looks like we're going down," he informed her.

"Why didn't they call us?"

"Communications were damaged during the attack," Seven reported.  "Attempting to bring them back online..."  Suddenly, a dozen engineers entered engineering.  Chakotay smiled in sympathy as B'Elanna first yelled at them for tracking mud into her engine room, then started calling out orders.  She stopped beside Seven, who turned to her immedietely.  "Done," she stated with flourish.

"Finally," B'Elanna replied as the ship shook again.  She stopped at Chakotay's side again, grabbing hold of the railing just before the ship lurched from another barrage of phaser fire.  These aliens weren't going to give up easily.

B'Elanna hit her communicator:  "Engineering to the Captain."  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"We're rather busy up here, Lieutenant," Kathryn gripped the navigational console as the ship lurched again.  "You should be getting some help soon," she informed her.

"They're here, Captain, but..." "Just get the warp core online, B'Elanna:  Janeway out."  She turned back to her engineer's husband.

"They're breaking off pursuit, Captain," the ship suddenly leveled, allowing her to let go of the console.  "Inertial dampeners are back to 100%," Tom smiled at her.  She nodded, turned to speak to Kim:

"Harry, can you beam the rest of the crew up from here?"

"I think so, Captain," Harry scowled at his console.  "I'm ready."  Kathryn nodded:

"Do it."

"Shields down," Kim replied.  "Energizing."  Kathryn stared at the screen for a long moment.  "We've got them," he stated at last, the relief evident in his voice.  "All crewmembers are accounted for."  Another blast nearly knocked her off her feet:

"Shields up," she ordered as she steadied herself.  There wasn't time to celebrate yet:  "Take us up, Lieutenant."

"Yes, Ma'am," Tom replied.

"Captain, those ships are moving to intercept," Harry reported.  "And their friends will be here any minute now."   _Voyager_  trembled for a moment, and Kathryn reached out to steady herself, wondering what this new development was.

"They have locked onto our hull with a tractor beam," Tuvok reported calmly.  Kathryn turned to face the Vulcan:

"Options?" she asked.

"Chakotay to the Captain."  Oh, it was good to hear his voice.  She smiled when her child moved within her, even at his father's comm voice.

"Janeway here," she replied.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"I've been monitoring things from down here," Chakotay glanced at the ceiling before continuing, an old habit that he had formed long before he had been promoted to commander:  "I suggest that we use that shuttle."

"Of course," he heard Kim interrupt.  "If we beam it between us and the other vessel, it should give us time to go to warp."

"Provided that the smaller vessel is not destroyed in the process," Tuvok's voice.  "Captain, the forces that our hull would undergo without the protection of shields..."

"The way I see it, we don't have any other choice," Chakotay cut him off.  "I'm open to any other suggestions," he added to the end.  There was no reply for a long moment.  "With your permission," Chakotay continued, "I can coordinate this from down here."

"How long until the warp core is back online?" Kathryn asked.

Chakotay looked up in surprise as the deck suddenly acquired a new vibration, then smiled as the blue antimatter in the warp core began to dance and the tall column pulsed to life.

"We have warp drive, Captain," B'Elanna answered.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn smiled:

"Good work, Lieutenant," she stated.  "Let's…"

"Captain," Tuvok interrupted her.  "We are being hailed."  She studied his expression for a long moment, then turned to face the front of the bridge.

"On screen," she replied.

"You disappoint me, Captain," the alien's face filled the screen.  "I expected at least some feeble attempt at escape by now."

"Esod," she approached the navigational console, stopping at Tom's side:  "How nice to see you again."

"I assure you, the feeling is mutual, Captain," he replied.  "I've always wondered what it would be like to face a woman in battle.  I was looking forward to such a possibility, particularly because of your condition."

"Aren't your superiors angry with you for allowing a feeble woman in my condition to escape?" she asked calmly.

"Perhaps we underestimated you once…"  He leaned forward:  "I will not allow it to happen again."  She smiled:

"I feel compelled to inform you, Esod," she leaned forward as well, pressing her palms against the top of the conn:  "I never surrender.  I'll destroy this ship before I'll put up a white flag," she kept her gaze locked with her opponent's.  Esod shook his head, grinning sardonically:

"And kill your crew, your mate, and your child?" he asked.  "I think not."  Kathryn stood up straight again:

"Maybe you're right," she replied.  "But that doesn't mean that I have to bow to the wishes of the likes of you."

"What exactly would you suggest, Captain?" Esod scoffed.  "Reinforcements are only moments away, and you're in my tow pulse!"  He paused:  "Surrender now, and I'll spare the lives of your crew."

"And allow you to take our children from us?" she asked.  "Never."

"I ask you again, what option do you have?"  Tom turned to look up at her, clearly enjoying watching the conversation unfold before him, and Kathryn smiled, allowing the silence to sink in:

"Esod, it's been a pleasure getting to know you, but we have to go now."  He pulled back, confused.  "Maybe next time you won't underestimate a woman," she paused:  "or her crew."  Esod sputtered, and Tuvok chose that moment to cut the commlink.

"They're surrounding us, Captain," Tom reported.  Her smile faded, and she turned her attention back to the issue at hand and the console in front of her.  There was the ship in front of them, another on their port side.  Two more were coming to rest at starboard and aft:

"Janeway to Chakotay," she stated calmly. “Are you ready?”

"Yes, Captain," Chakotay's voice came back.  She paused:

"Do it."  Her crew jumped into action:

"Shields down," Tuvok reported.

"Energizing," Chakotay stated.  Kathryn watched the alien shuttle materialize in space, blocking her view of the alien warship that had filled their viewscreen only a moment earlier.

"Lieutenant…" she stated.

Tom didn't reply, but hit the thrusters, sending them straight up, barely in time to escape the brunt of the shuttle's blast as it was destroyed.  The ship lurched, then paused, its nacelle's rising into position.   _Voyager_  jumped into warp.

Kathryn let out a breath that she hadn't even realized she had been holding.  She smiled when she heard the cheers that were coming from engineering, at Tom's smile.

“Good work, Chakotay,” she smiled, “all of you.  I’ve never been prouder of my crew than I am right now.”

“Glad to have helped, Captain,” her husband replied.  “Chakotay out.”  She turned to Paris.

"Congratulations, Captain," he told her.  She nodded:

"Set a course for home, Lieutenant."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied.  She turned to face Tuvok, placing her hand on the railing that was between them:

"Signs of pursuit?"

"None, Captain," Tuvok replied.  "The ships in question do not have sufficient warp capability to overtake us."  She nodded:

“Damage report,” she looked to Kim this time.

“Transporters are offline, there are some isolated power failures… and moderate hull damage,” Harry reported.  “Other than that, we’re in pretty good shape,” he finished with a smile.

"Good work, people," she turned, fully intending to finally return to her chair, uncomfortable or not.  "Mr. Paris, remain at warp…" she gasped as a contraction cut her off.  The strength of it enveloped her, completely taking her by surprise.  She clung to the railing for support, falling to her knees on the steps that led from the conn up to her command chair.  Breathe, she told herself, just breathe through it.  It seemed like forever before the contraction subsided.

"Captain," Tom called her name, and she had the distinct feeling that it hadn't been the first time.

"I'm alright," she reassured the worried officer.  She tried to rise off her knees, but Tom stopped her:

“No, you stay there,” he told her, as if he was amazed that she had even tried.  She hadn’t been able to, anyway.  She rubbed her abdomen with her free hand, still holding the railing.  Then she hit her communicator:  "Janeway to Chakotay…" she was cut off by another contraction, just as strong as the last.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
"Chakotay here," he shouted.  Engineering was full of cheering people, and it was a bit hard to hear.  His smile faded when Kathryn didn't reply.  There was some talking going on at the other end, but it was hard to make out.  The engineering crew fell silent, suddenly aware that something was going on.  Everyone in the room strained to hear, were all concerned for their captain.

"I think that you'd better get up here, Chakotay," Tom’s voice finally came.  "Looks like this baby is going to be here pretty soon."  Chakotay was already halfway to the ‘lift.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Kathryn hadn’t been aware of Paris’ touch until her contraction was almost over.  They were coming faster now, were so much stronger.  She was laying on a blanket in the middle of the bridge (had no idea how she had gotten there), felt ridiculous lying there with her knees spread, flat on her back.  Tom’s hand was on her abdomen:  she could see that he was startled by the intensity of the contraction.  She moved her hand to rest beside his and could feel it herself.  She wasn’t surprised that it scared him just as much as it had scared Chakotay.  She could feel her uterus tighten as another one began, was in as much awe of it as he was.

During her daughter’s birth, it had terrified her.  She had been a young woman who had wanted nothing more than to be in control.  But she couldn’t control this.  Justin hadn’t been there, was already gone, and she had drawn strength from the only person she could:  her mother.  That had been a long labor, and eventually she had discovered that she had to let go and let her body do what it was designed to do.  It had been so much easier after that, and was still the most incredible experience of her life.

But this time it was different.  The pain she felt in her back was worse than anything she had ever known.  She had let go, had surrendered herself to her body as she had so many years ago, but the pain still threatened to overwhelm her.  What was worse was that it was slowly becoming even more painful, and she wasn't sure that she could get through this.

“Where’s that medkit?!?” Tom yelled.

“Perhaps it would be prudent to move the Captain to Sickbay,” Tuvok informed the medic calmly.

“She’s not going anywhere,” Tom replied.  “These contractions are right on top of each other.”

“Here,” Harry suddenly appeared above her, handed Tom a rectangular case.  “I’m on my way to Sickbay…”

“Right,” Tom answered as he opened the medkit, extracting its tricorder.  He was immedietely scanning her.  Harry rose to leave, to try to bring the Doctor online:  she had forgotten about him.  Ironically, he wasn’t the person she most wanted to see right now.  She could care less whether Harry and B’Elanna got him to work or not.  Who she needed was Chakotay:

“I’m here Kathryn…” she looked up in surprise as her husband knelt beside her.  She hadn’t heard him arrive:  he must have come in on the same ‘lift Harry used to leave.  She reached up, easing her hand behind his neck.  She pulled him down to her, and their lips met.  He probably had no idea how much she needed that kiss.  Her eyes met his when he pulled away:

“Took you long enough.”  He took her hand, and her fingers slid through his, meshing together until their hands were palm to palm:

“I came as fast as I could.”  She barely heard his reply:  her attention was suddenly turned inward:  another contraction.  What was happening to her body was all that she could think of.  She gripped his hand tightly, holding on for dear life.  Her eyes were locked on their fingers, on the way each one of hers pressed into the flesh on the back of his hand.  His hand was so white:  she was the reason.  She was hurting him, but she didn’t know how to stop.  The pain in her back was more than she could bear, was worse than it had been so far, and she needed that hand so much.

He didn’t complain, not even after it had ended.  He was her only anchor in the building storm.  The pain in her back was one huge wave, threatening to overwhelm her.  They rode the tide together, until she felt it subside into nothingness, leaving only a dull ache in her lower back.  She didn’t miss the way that her husband looked to Paris in concern:

"They’ve been like this ever since her water broke,” Tom told him returning to his scanning.  “It’s like she was just thrust into active labor without warning; I’ve never seen anything like it."  Kathryn actually laughed; it surprised her.

"You think my labor just started?” she asked.  Tom looked confused.

“She’s been in labor all day,” Chakotay supplied.

“Oh,” Paris blushed, then realized:  “You mean when she went with those guys…  You’re really crazy, Captain, running around down there,” he shook his head.  “You could have gotten shot...”

That was all she heard.  Another contraction already had her:  it seemed that one was hardly finished before another would begin, she mused as it ended.  Ended:  ha.  That was such a lie.  One contraction ending only  meant that there would be another one within minutes, if not seconds.  But this one wasn’t over:  it peaked a second time, causing her to gasp in surprise.  Finally it waned away to nothing, bringing her one contraction closer to the time she would be able to hold her baby in her arms.  Then the tricorder's alarm went off.

"What's wrong?" Kathryn asked.  She tried to fight down the panic that was already welling up inside.  She didn’t want to be scared right now, couldn’t handle being scared:  that wouldn’t be good for her or the baby.  Tom hesitated, and she propped herself up on her elbows:

"Mr. Paris, you'd better tell me what's wrong, and you'd better tell me now."  Tom looked to Chakotay, as if in question, and her husband nodded.

"The baby's breech, Captain.”  The bridge was suddenly silent.  Tuvok turned to watch her from the helm, where he had been seated since Chakotay arrived, and she closed her eyes, uneasy under everyone’s gaze.  She was the captain, even now they expected her to know what to do…  The trouble was, she didn’t have the slightest idea what she could do.

“The doctor,” she licked her dry lips, looking up at Chakotay.  “She said that the baby had already turned.”

“The baby must have turned again,” Tom replied  “All I know is that the baby's turned the wrong way now."  Kathryn eased herself all the way down to the deck, stared at the ceiling.  “I’d recommend a fetal transport, but…”

“The transporters are offline,” Chakotay finished solemnly.  Kathryn closed her eyes:  what now?

“I’ve never delivered a breech, Captain,” Tom told her, “not even in simulations.”

“Perhaps if you attempted to turn the baby…” Tuvok began to suggest.

“I don’t have the training for that,” Tom cut him off.  “This could be very dangerous.  I’m not sure that I can…”

"I can," Chakotay interrupted.  Her body chose this moment to throw herself into another contraction.  She fought to stay aware of the outside world, to hear what was being said…

"What?" Tom was asking, incredulous.

"My mother was our tribe's midwife," her husband told him.  “When I was born, I came out upside-down.  That’s what the tribe calls them... breech births.”  His attention was pulled back to her now as she let out as she keened in pain, the contraction once again peaking a second time.  She hadn’t been able to hold back the cry of pain it caused, hadn’t consciously turned towards him as she had, pulling her knees up as far towards her chest as she could.  Chakotay held her in his arms, rubbing her back as Tuvok knelt behind her:

“And you believe that you are qualified to assist the Captain?”

“Yes,” Chakotay replied.  Kathryn forced her body to relax and her uterus slowly did the same.  Chakotay stroked her hair, brushing it out of her face, as he spoke again:  “My mother delivered with only my father's assistance, and I once helped her deliver the baby of a woman in our tribe whose baby hadn't turned, either.”  Kathryn nodded, and her husband kissed her forehead.

“I have to get off my back,” she told him, still out of breath.  He nodded, and lifted her up, off the deck, so that she was sitting indian-style.

"Captain, Vulcan women…" Tuvok began to note that Vulcan women labored entirely on their backs as had been the custom for thousands of years.  Kathryn cut him off before he even had a chance to voice the thought:

"I'm not a Vulcan woman," she stated adamantly.  Her chief of security seemed surprised by the outburst.

“Like this?” Chakotay asked her, ignoring Tuvok.

“No, on my knees I think.”  He nodded, and started to help her up.  Tuvok assisted her from the other side.

“Tuvok, transfer all command functions to engineering,” her husband ordered calmly.  He took a pillow from Tom, eased it under her knees, lowering her to the deck until she was sitting on her heels:  “You’ll take command there,” he finished.

“Understood,” Tuvok moved his hand to rest on her shoulder, gaining her full attention:

“You are a strong woman, Captain,” he stated softly.  “I have no doubt that you will ultimately find that your pains are worth the effort.”  He paused, hesitated:  “You will make an excellent mother.”  Kathryn reached out to touch his cheek:

“Thank you, old friend,” she replied softly, managing a small smile.

“I will see that you aren’t disturbed, and that  _Voyager_  is returned to full efficiency.”

“Thank you,” she replied gently.  Tuvok nodded and left without another word.  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
Chakotay held Kathryn, grateful for the bridge’s silence, its emptiness:  the last thing she needed right now was any distractions.  He wasn’t entirely certain that she wouldn’t have tried to get up and take command had they been attacked in that moment, despite the fact that she wasn’t currently in the position to do so.  She wasn’t scared:  her breathing wasn’t as regulated as it had been, and she didn’t want to lose physical contact with him, even for a moment, but aside from the occasional moan she seemed to be in complete control.

He held her as she breathed through another contraction:  she was leaning against him for support, and he was starting to get tired, but he couldn’t complain.  All he wanted to do was make this as comfortable for her as he could.  He could only do so much…  For instance, he couldn’t reach her back from where he was.  It was Tom’s hands that were rubbing the pain away as each contraction came.  He wasn’t nearly as good at giving massages as Chakotay, but their friend wanted to help her just as much as he did.  They both knew that it helped her back more than she could say, almost made the pain bearable for her.  It was all they could do.

Kathryn head fell to his shoulder as the contraction ended.  She puffed into his neck, trying to get her breath back:  they were almost right on top of each other now.  Her calm demeanor amazed him.

“This baby’s in a hurry,” Tom scanned, relieved to finally have a short break.

“Easy for you to say,” she replied, her breathing slowly returning to normal.  “You aren’t doing all the work.”  Chakotay smiled and rubbed her arm.

“You’ve dilated three centimeters in the last hour,” Tom’s replied.  “How’s the pain?  Am I doing alright?”

“I’ll live with it,” she replied.  Typical response for Kathryn.  “It isn’t your fault that this baby is a stubborn as his father.”  He wasn’t sure if she was joking or not…  She moaned as another one started:  not an outburst as he had seen come from his mother’s patients or in the simulations he had went through at the Academy…  Kathryn didn’t allow herself that, was too much a captain, even now.  No, this sound was uncontainable yet controlled at the same time, distinctly Kathryn.

Tom was already back at his task, and no one spoke.  She held onto Chakotay as if for dear life:  even for him, it took forever for the contraction to end.  And then it was over, and she lifted her head to see him.  Their eyes met, and he was surprised by the tears he saw running down her cheeks:

“I can’t do this,” she told him, only loud enough for him to hear.  “Make it stop, Chakotay, please…”  Her admission amazed him:  she seemed so put together.

“I can’t, Kathryn:  but I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”  He lifted a hand to touch her cheek:  “You’re almost done.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he assured her.  “I’m in awe, Kathryn:  I’m so proud of how well you’re doing.”

“You’re just saying that,” she scoffed.  He reached out to lift her chin, causing their eyes to meet:

“No,” he told her.  “I’m not.”  She looked like she was about to cry again:

“Only because I have you with me,” she told him.  She looked away, lifted her right hand to her abdomen, preparing herself for the contraction she knew was coming.  He searched his mind for something else to say.  He wanted to keep her as relaxed as possible while she waited:

“I got your note,” he pronounced.  Once again, he had her full attention:

“You lost it, didn’t you?” she asked of the bootie.

“No, I gave it to Naomi,” he brushed her hair off her face.

“Lucky for you,” she casually lifted a hand to wipe away the wetness on her cheeks:  “I would have had to throw you into the brig and make you knit a replacement."  She actually smiled.

“What does shmily mean?” he asked.  And then it hit her:  she curled slightly at the force of it, holding her midsection.

“You want to know now?” she managed to gasp out.  That was when B’Elanna suddenly burst onto the bridge.

“Alright, I have him,” the engineer proclaimed as she exited the turbolift.  B’Elanna crossed the bridge, stopping only a meter away from them.  She held up the mobile emitter, making the last few needed adjustments:  the Doctor shimmered into existence.

“Please state the nature...”

“The Captain needs you,” B’Elanna cut him off.  The hologram gave Torres a visual once over:

“Lieutenant, you’re pregnant.”

“So, I’ve noticed.”

“There must be some mistake:  according to my data banks, I’ve only been deactivated for a little over a week.”

“No mistake,” B’Elanna turned him around, and he noticed the Captain for the first time.

“Captain!”  The Doctor kneeled beside her:  “Are you alright?”

“Don’t touch me,” she managed to get out clearly, despite the fact that she was still in the middle of the contraction.

“Would someone please tell me what’s happening?” the Doctor asked.

“She’s in labor, Doc,” Tom replied matter-of-factly, not looking up from his task of applying pressure to Kathryn’s back.

“Leave it to you, to state the obvious, Mr. Paris,” the hologram retorted.

“The baby’s breech and she’s in back labor,” Chakotay answered the Doctor’s question softly.

“It’s not that bad,” Kathryn panted, her hands gripping his arms so tightly that it hurt.

“Right,” Tom rolled his eyes.

“Well why doesn’t someone perform a fetal transport?” the Doctor demanded.

“Why didn’t I think of that?” Kathryn asked no one in particular.  She turned to face the EMH:  “Maybe it’s because the transporters are offline!”  The Doctor pondered that one for a moment:

“Good answer,” he replied.  B’Elanna shot him a dirty look as she handed him the tricorder that had been forgotten at Tom’s knees.  The Doctor opened it and began scanning:  her contraction had ended, but she was still out of breath.  “Well, no one ever said that she did things the easy way,” he noted.  “You’re almost fully dilated Captain:  fortunately, I don’t think that you’ll have any difficulties delivering the baby.  I wouldn’t recommend it in the future, however,” the Doctor closed the tricorder.  “Now if you’ll just move aside, Commander, I can take it from here.”

“No,” Kathryn replied.  The Doctor looked perturbed:

“Captain, I can’t…”

“She said no,” Chakotay told him firmly.

“Who’s going to deliver this baby, you or me?”

“It looks like Chakotay is, Doc,” Tom replied.

“Captain, I’m afraid that I must insist…”

“Stop it, all of you,” Kathryn ordered, her captain’s voice long gone.  She gasped as another contraction began...  
   
   
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
   
   
   
…It was the most beautiful sound in the universe.  One moment she had been overwhelmed with the need to push, to keep pushing, and the next her child was free and crying forcefully.  She sobbed…  There was nothing else that she could do.  Chakotay laid her baby into B’Elanna’s waiting arms, and the Doctor scanned him.  B’Elanna looked terrified that she would drop the wailing newborn:  she wrapped the blanket around him tighter, handed him back to Chakotay.  And then her husband handed her the miracle she had wanted to hold ever since she had laid eyes on him:

“It’s a boy, Kathryn,” Chakotay smiled.  He was crying, too.  They were too happy not to.

“Well done, Commander,” the Doctor beamed.  Kathryn glanced towards him:  “Oh, and of course you did quite well yourself, Captain,” he amended.

“Thank you for realizing that, Doctor,” Kathryn turned back to her baby.

“I don’t suppose anyone could tell me how we picked up two extra passengers so quickly?”

“It’s a long story, Doctor,” B’Elanna replied.  “But two doesn’t even come close.”  The Doctor looked at her, confused, but didn’t comment.  He turned to admire his newest patient.  The half Klingon, on the other hand, inhaled sharply.

“B’Elanna,” Tom touched her in concern.

“I’m alright,” she said.  “Must be sympathy pains.”

“Seeing as the Captain is no longer in pain, I find that very unlikely,” the Doctor noted.  B’Elanna gasped again, obviously having a contraction.  The Doctor opened the trusty tricorder, concerned:

“There must be something wrong,” the half Klingon-half Human objected.  “I’m not due for another month.

“On the contrary,” the Doctor stated.  “You appear to be at full term, Lieutenant.”

“What?” she asked.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Tom smiled.

“I’m not ready,” B’Elanna puffed.

“You’ll have to get ready soon,” the Doctor replied.  “We’d better get you to Sickbay.”  The trio left in a hurry, oblivious to the blissful command team and their new addition.  Chakotay moved closer to his wife and son:

“He’s beautiful, Kathryn,” he told her.  She smiled:

“Thank you,” she pushed back the blanket with her finger, and her baby caught hold of it:  “for everything,” she told him.

They sat there in silence as she counted his fingers and toes, fell in love with his small nose and round, full lips.  She never wanted to let go of him… but she knew that Chakotay needed to hold him.  She sat up straighter, gingerly held him out to her husband:

“Kathryn…” he looked terrified.

“Hold your son, Chakotay,” she told him, laying him into his arms.  He took him without further complaint, and Kathryn smiled as she settled him into his arms.  He relaxed gradually, and she could she that he was falling in love with their baby just as quickly as she had.  Her hand moved to rest her son’s head, to rub the black fuzz that it was covered with, and their son gurgled.  Kathryn gasped:  “Chakotay, his eyes.”

Chakotay looked at her, worried, and then turned back to look at his son.  Then he smiled:  he saw what she meant.  Their baby’s eyes were blue.  “How…?” she couldn’t finish the question.  Didn’t need to:  Chakotay understood.

“Centuries ago, when the women of our tribe were raped by white conquerors, many gave birth to their children...”  Her husband spoke softly yet smoothly, as if he had heard this story a million times before and knew it by heart.  His voice grew stronger as he continued:  “But we did not reject them:  they were accepted by the tribe.”  He paused:  “One was a direct ancestor of mine…  His name was Seaktu; he became a great leader of our people.”  He lifted his eyes, and they met her own:  “Here is a man who was given life without his mother’s consent.”   A tear ran down her cheek:

“That’s his name,” she told him.  “Seaktu.”  Chakotay looked back to his son and nodded:

“Seaktu,” he repeated softly.  Kathryn watched the two most important men in her life study each other.  And then Seaktu opened him mouth and let out a cry.  Kathryn took him from her husband, and as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do, unbuttoned the top of her dress to give him her breast, silencing his cries.  Chakotay moved closer to her side, watching them both, and she leaned against him gently, allowing him to join in as their son ate his first meal.

She was the first to break the silence:  “This is shmily, Chakotay,” she told him.  “This is.”  She pulled her eyes away from their baby, and lifted her eyes to meet Chakotay’s again:  “See how much I love you?”  Chakotay smiled and lifted a hand to touch her cheek, his thumb wiping away her tears, and suddenly Kathryn realized:  for the first time in her life, everything was perfect.  They were still thousands of lightyears from home, and she knew that the journey ahead was long and hard, but they would make it.  They would get through it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose the name Seaktu (pronounced say-ahk-too) a long time before i even started writing this series. As you may have noticed, the quote is from "Basics," which is where i got the idea for the name. Chakotay's vision quest provided a piece of information on his background that seemed like the most plausible way to give any child he has with Kathryn blue eyes (since Chakotay's ancestor was half Caucasian, half Native American, and the recessive gene for blue eyes could be carried for hundreds of generations before it was matched with another recessive blue).
> 
> But figuring out the name of Chakotay's ancestor was a little more difficult. Unfortunately, the closed captioning on my home recorded video of the episode didn't work (we didn't have good enough reception), and i couldn't figure out exactly what Kolopeck was saying. The closest thing that i could get out of it was Seaktu, so that was what i ran with. Imagine my surprise when i bought a prerecorded video of the episode and discovered with closed captioning that the name was Ce Acatl!
> 
> Anyway, i decided a long time ago to just leave the wrong spelling as is. Also, i've since learned that all babies are born with blue eyes. My intention with this was for Seaktu's eyes to stay blue. I also intended to write a sequel where Janeway had a baby the slow route. That's never materialized.


End file.
